The Deer And The Cauldron 23
第二十三回 天生才士定多癖 君与此图皆可传
澄观道：“又要师叔你老人家和净济他们四个出去，和两位女施主动手，让她们折断手足。倘若折得厉害了，难以治愈，从此残废，岂不可惜？又如两位女施主下手狠辣，竟把你们五位杀了，岂不危险？”韦小宝奇道：“为什么又要我们五人去动手？”澄观道：“两位女施主所学的招数，一定不止这些。师侄既不知她们另有什么招数，自然不知拆解的法门。五位若不是送上去挨打试招，如何能够查明？”韦小宝哈哈大笑，说道：“原来如此。那也有法子的，只要你去跟她们动手，就不会可惜、没有危险了。”澄观脸有难色，道：“出家人不生嗔怒，平白无端的去跟人家动手，那是大大不妥。”韦小宝道：“有了。咱二人就出寺走走，倘若两位女施主已然远去，那再好也没有了。这叫做人不犯我，我不犯人。她们便另有什么招数，咱们也不必理会了。”澄观道：“是极，是极！不过师侄从来不出寺门，一出去便存心生事，立意似乎不善。我佛当年在鹿野苑初转法轮，传的是四圣谛、八正道，这‘正意’是八正道的一道……”韦小宝打断他话头，说道：“咱们也不必去远，只在寺旁随意走走，最好是遇不着她们。”澄观道：“正是，正是。师叔立心仁善，与人无争无竞，那便是‘正意’了，师侄当引为模楷。”
‘I shall need to know all the forms of attack these young ladies are capable of and match each of them with a Prajna Hand defence before I can begin instructing you. You and the four brothers who were with you that day will have to have another encounter with them. That could be dangerous.’ Trinket laughed. ‘I don’t think that will be necessary. If you want to know more about their method of fighting, why don’t you go and find out for yourself?’ ‘You mean fight them?’ said Brother Simple. ‘Oh dear me, no! Our vows forbid us to seek conflict with anyone.’ ‘All right, then,’ said Trinket. ‘Just come outside with me and the two of us will walk around together. Perhaps we shall find that the girls have already gone, in which case we shan’t need to bother.’
韦小宝暗暗好笑，携着他手，从侧门走出少林寺来。澄观连寺畔的树林也未见过，眼见一大片青松，不由得啧啧称奇，赞道：“这许多松树生在一起，大是奇观。我们般若堂的庭院之中，只有两棵……”一言未毕，忽听得身后一声娇叱：“小贼秃在这里！”白光闪动，一把钢刀向韦小宝砍将过来。澄观道：“这是五虎断门刀中的‘猛虎下山’。”伸手去抓使刀人的手腕，忽然想起，这一招是“拈花擒拿手”中的手法，未免太难，说道：“不行！”急忙缩手。
He seized the old monk by the hand and hauled him off after him. Brother Simple had seldom been outside the monastery walls since he was a lad and found much to marvel at as they walked around. He was just making an inane remark about some pine trees when there was a shrill cry and a blade flashed out from behind one of them. ‘Here he is!’ screamed the voice. The blade was aimed at Trinket, but Brother Simple effortlessly stretched out his arm and grasped the wrist of the person wielding it before it could do any damage. As he did so, he called out the names of the movements: That was a Wild Tiger attack. This defence is a Flower-Picker’s Catch-Can.’ But he quickly released the wrist. ‘Oh dear! I shouldn’t have used that defence. You’d find that one too difficult.’
使刀的正是那蓝衫女郎，她见澄观缩手，柳叶刀疾翻，向他腰间横扫。便在这时，绿衫女郎也已从松林中窜出，挥刀向韦小宝砍去。韦小宝急忙躲到澄观身后，绿衫女郎这一刀便砍向澄观左肩。澄观道：“这是太极刀的招数，倒不易用简便法子来化解……”一句话没说完，二女双刀挥舞，越砍越急。澄观叫道：“师叔，不行，不行。两位女施主出招太快，我可……我可来不及想。你……你快请两位不必性急，慢慢的砍。”蓝衫女郎连使狠招，始终砍不着老和尚，几次还险些给他将刀夺去，听他大呼小叫，只道他有意讥讽，大怒之下，砍得更加急了。韦小宝笑道：“喂，两位姑娘，我师侄请你们不必性急，慢慢的发招。”澄观道：“正是，我脑子不大灵活，一时三刻之间，可想不出这许多破法。”绿衫女郎恨极了韦小宝，几刀砍不中澄观，又挥刀向韦小宝砍来。澄观伸手挡住，说道：“这位女施主，我师叔没学过你这路刀的破法，现下不必砍他，等他学会之后，识了抵挡之法，那时再砍他不迟。唉，我这些法子委实不行。师叔，你现下不忙记，我这些法子都是不管用的，回头咱们再慢慢琢磨。”他口中不停，双手忽抓忽拿，忽点忽打，将二女缠得紧紧的，绿衫女郎要去杀韦小宝，却哪里能够？
The wielder of the sword was the Blue Girl. As soon as her wrist was released, she drew the sword back and aimed it in a wide sweep at the old monk’s waist. Meanwhile, however, the Green Girl had also run out of the trees with sword upraised to cut down Trinket; but as Trinket had at once dodged behind Brother Simple’s back, her blade was descending on the old monk’s shoulder at the same time as the Blue Girl’s sword was sweeping towards his waist. He had little difficulty in fending off this double assault, but it cost him considerable effort to name the two forms of attack and the way in which he had countered them. He appeared to be under the impression not that he was fighting for his life but that he was giving a lesson in unarmed combat; but the girls mistook his muttering for taunts and in their anger began hacking at him wildly. ‘Father Treasure,’ he called out between gasps as he warded off their blows, ‘tell the young ladies to go a little slower. My old brain isn’t fast enough to identify all these attacks!’
韦小宝眼见已无凶险，笑嘻嘻的倚树观战，一双眼不停在绿衫女郎脸上、身上、手上、脚上转来转去，饱餐秀色，乐也无穷。绿衫女郎不见韦小宝，只道他已经逃走，回头找寻，见他一双眼正盯住了自己，脸上一红，再也顾不得澄观，转身举刀，向他奔去。哪知澄观正出指向她胁下点来，这一指故意点得甚慢，她原可避开，但一分心要去杀人，胁下立时中指，一声嘤咛，摔倒在地。澄观忙道：“哎哟，对不住。老僧这招‘笑指天南’，指力使得并不厉害，女施主只须用五虎断门刀中的一招‘恶虎拦路’，斜刀一封，便可挡开了。这一招女施主虽未使过，但那位穿蓝衫的女施主却使过的，老僧心想女施主一定也会使，哪知道……唉，得罪，得罪。”蓝衫女郎怒极，钢刀横砍直削，势道凌厉，可是她武功和澄观相差实在太远，连他僧袍衣角也带不上半点。澄观嘴里罗唆不休，心中只是记忆她的招数，他当场想不出简易破法，只好记明了刀法招数，此后再一招招的细加参详。韦小宝走到绿衫女郎身前，赞道：“这样美貌的小美人儿，普天下也只有你一个了，啧啧啧！真是瞧得我魂飞天外。”伸出手去，在她脸上轻轻摸了一把。
But Trinket, nearly helpless with laughter, had slipped off to lean against a pine tree, from which vantage point he could devour the Green Girl with his eyes. The Green Girl, not seeing Trinket, thought he must have run away and stopped for a moment to look round. When she caught sight of him leaning against the tree and gazing at her she reddened and, abandoning the combat with Brother Simple, turned to run at him with her sword. But even as she did so, the old monk aimed the middle finger of his right hand against a Vital Point under her ribs. The effect of this was almost instantaneous. Halfway to the tree she twisted about, dropped her sword, and fell down, paralysed from the neck downwards, upon the ground. Trinket ran up and knelt beside her. ‘How beautiful you are!’ he said. ‘Just to look at you almost makes me want to die!’ And he touched her cheek.
那女郎惊怒交迸，一口气转不过来，登时晕去。韦小宝一惊，倒也不敢再肆意轻薄，站直身子，叫道：“澄观师侄，你把这位女施主也点倒了，请她把各种招数慢慢说将出来，免伤和气。”澄观迟疑道：“这个不大好罢？”韦小宝道：“现下这样动手动脚，太不雅观，还是请她口说，较为斯文大方。”澄观喜道：“师叔说得是。动手动脚，不是‘正行’之道。”蓝衫女郎知道只要这老和尚全力施为，自己挡不住他一招半式，眼下师妹被擒，自己如也落入其手，无人去报讯求救，当即向后跃开，叫道：“你们要是伤了我师妹一根毛发，把你们少林寺烧成白地。”澄观一怔，道：“我们怎敢伤了这位女施主？不过要是她自己落下一根头发，难道你也要放火烧寺？”蓝衫女郎奔出几步，回头骂道：“老贼秃油嘴滑舌，小贼秃……”她本想说“淫邪好色”，但这四字不便出口，一顿足，窜入林中。
Speechless with shock and anger, she fainted away. Trinket got up. ‘Brother Simple,’ he called, ‘why don’t you do that to the other girl as well? Fighting isn’t a very good way of finding out their methods. If they’re both immobilized you can find out what you want by just asking them.’ ‘You’re right, Father,’ said Brother Simple. ‘We should always avoid violence if we can.’ The Blue Girl paused and stepped back. She knew she was no match for the old monk and that, if there was to be any hope of rescuing her companion, it was essential for her to remain free. She darted towards the trees, just pausing a moment to look back. ‘If either of you harms a hair of her head,’ she shouted, ‘I’ll burn your monastery to the ground.’ And with that she plunged into the trees and disappeared.
韦小宝眼见绿衫女郎横卧于地，绿茵上一张白玉般的娇脸，一双白玉般的纤手，真似翡翠座上一尊白玉观音的睡像一般，不由得看痴了。澄观道：“女施主，你师姊走了。你也快快去罢，可别掉了一根头发，你师姊来烧我们寺庙。”韦小宝心想：“良机莫失。这小美人儿既落入我手，说什么也不能放她走了。”合十说道：“我佛保佑，澄观师侄，我佛要你光大少林武学，维护本派千余年威名，你真是本派的第一大功臣。”澄观奇道：“师叔何出此言？”韦小宝道：“咱们正在烦恼，不知两位女施主更有什么招数。幸蒙我佛垂怜，派遣这位女施主光临本寺，让她一一施展。”说着俯身将那女郎抱起，说道：“回去罢。”
‘Why should we want to harm her hair?’ Brother Simple asked, naively. ‘Do you think she will burn the monastery if one of the young lady’s hairs should just chance to drop out?’ Trinket ignored his dumb question. He was gazing down at the green-clad figure on the grass, wondering how he could take advantage of this heaven-sent opportunity to have her in his power. Somehow or other the old monk must be persuaded to let him keep her. He placed his palms together and raised his eyes heavenwards in what he hoped was a convincingly pious attitude. ‘The Lord Buddha’s holy name be praised, Brother Simple!’ he said. ‘He has delivered this girl into our hands for the greater glory of the monastery.’ ‘Oh?’ said Brother Simple. ‘How do you make that out?’ ‘Don’t you see? We can take her back with us. Then you will have plenty of time to find out all you need to know about her combat methods and work out the appropriate ways of countering them. Once we know that, no one will be able to say that the Shaolin monks are no match for a couple of half-trained girls.’ He took off his monk’s habit and wrapped it round the recumbent figure, then, gathering her up in his arms, began marching off with her. ‘Come on!’
澄观愕然不解，只觉此事大大的不对，但错在何处，却又说不上来，过了一会，才道：“师叔，我们请这女施主入寺，好像不合规矩。”韦小宝道：“什么不合规矩？她进过少林寺没有？方丈和戒律院首座都说没什么不对，自然是合规矩了，是不是？”他问一句，澄观点一下头，只觉他每一句话都是无可辩驳。眼见小师叔脱下身上僧袍，罩在那女郎身上，抱了她从侧门进寺，只得跟在后面，脸上一片迷惘，脑中一团混乱。韦小宝心里却是怦怦大跳，虽然这女郎自头至足，都被僧袍罩住，没丝毫显露在外，但若给寺中僧侣见到，总是不免起疑。他温香软玉，抱个满怀，内心却只有害怕，幸好般若堂是在后寺僻静之处，他快步疾趋，没撞到其他僧人。进堂之时，堂中执事僧见师叔祖驾到，首座随在其后，都恭恭敬敬的让在一边。
Brother Simple felt that there was something not quite right about this, though he couldn’t have said exactly what it was; nevertheless, Trinket was his superior and he was enjoined by his vows always to obey his superiors in religion, so he simply picked up the Green Girl’s sword from the grass and trailed along, somewhat unhappily, behind. Just outside the side gate of the monastery Trinket drew a flap of the monk’s habit over the Green Girl’s face, so that none of her was visible. Even so, his heart beat faster as they entered, for he knew that if any of the monks saw him like this, their suspicions would be aroused and there would be serious trouble. Fortunately he got to the Prajna Hall without an encounter, and once he was inside, the monks on duty there, seeing him followed by their own superior, made way for him with meekly downcast eyes and did not venture to question what he was doing.
进了澄观的禅房，那女郎兀自未醒，韦小宝将她放在榻上，满手都是冷汗，双掌在腿侧一擦，吁了口长气，笑道：“行啦！”澄观问道：“咱们请这位……这位女施主住在这里？”韦小宝道：“是啊，她又不是第一次在本寺住。先前她伤了脖子，不是在东院住过吗？”澄观点头道：“是。不过……不过那一次是为她治伤，性命攸关，不得不从权处置。”韦小宝道：“那容易得很。”从靴筒中拔出匕首，道：“只须狠狠割她一刀，让她再有性命之忧，又可从权处置了。”说着走到她身前，作势便要割落。澄观忙道：“不，不，那……那是不必了。”韦小宝道：“好，我便听你的。除非你不让别人知晓，待她将各种招数演毕，咱们悄悄送了她出去，否则的话，我只好割伤她了。”澄观道：“是，是。我不说便是。”只觉这位小师叔行事着实奇怪，但想他既是晦字辈的尊长，见识定比自己高超，听他吩咐，决无岔差。韦小宝道：“这女施主脾气刚硬，她说定要抢了你般若堂的首座来做，我得好好劝她一劝。”澄观道：“她一定要做，师侄让了给她，也就是了。”韦小宝一怔，没料到这老和尚生性淡泊，全无竞争之心，说道：“她又不是本寺僧侣，抢了般若堂首座位子，咱们少林寺的脸面往哪里搁去？你若存此心，便是对不起少林派。”说着脸色一沉，只把澄观吓得连声称是。韦小宝板起了脸道：“是了。你且出去，在外面等着，我要劝她了。”澄观躬身答应，走出禅房，带上了门。
Trinket made straight for Brother Simple’s cell and laid the still-unconscious Green Girl on the bed. ‘I think I’d better be with her on my own when she comes to,’ he told Brother Simple. ‘You’ve seen how stubborn and violent she is. I shall try to talk her into a better frame of mind so that she is more willing to help you with your investigation.’ Obediently Brother Simple went outside his own cell and allowed Trinket to close the door on him.
韦小宝揭开盖在那女郎头上的僧袍，那女郎正欲张口呼叫，突见一柄寒光闪闪的匕首指住了自己鼻子，登时张大了嘴，不敢叫出声来。韦小宝笑嘻嘻的道：“小姑娘，你只要乖乖的听话，我不会伤你一根毫毛。否则的话，我只好割下你的鼻子，放了出寺。一个人少了个鼻子，只不过闻不到香气臭气，也没什么大不了，是不是？”那女郎惊怒交集，脸上更无半点血色。韦小宝道：“你听不听话？”那女郎怒极，低声道：“你快杀了我。”
When, some minutes later, the Green Girl came to her senses, she saw Trinket standing over her holding his dagger an inch or two from her nose. She was on the point of calling out when he stopped her. ‘Don’t make a noise! If you call out, I shall cut your nose off. Just listen to me and answer my questions and I promise not to harm you.’ The Green Girl turned pale with anger. ‘Will you do as I say?’ She looked even angrier. ‘Kill me!’ she said in a scarcely audible voice.
韦小宝叹了口气，说道：“你这般花容月貌，我怎舍得杀你？不过放你走罢，从此我日夜都会想着你，非为你害相思病而死不可，那也有伤上天好生之德。”那女郎脸上一红，随即又转为苍白。韦小宝道：“只有一个法子。我割了你的鼻子，你相貌就不怎么美啦。那我就不会害相思病了。”那女郎闭上了眼，两粒清澈的泪珠从长长的睫毛下渗了出来，韦小宝心中一软，安慰道：“别哭，别哭！只要你乖乖的听话，我宁可割了自己的鼻子，也不割你的鼻子。你叫什么名字？”
‘Oh no,’ said Trinket. ‘You’re so beautiful, I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t kill you and I can’t let you go. Either way I should die of longing.’ The Green Girl’s face turned very red, then, almost immediately, very pale again. ‘I think I’ll just have to cut your nose off,’ said Trinket. Then you won’t look so beautiful.’ She closed her eyes tight, but a big tear escaped from the corner of each of them and ran down towards her ears. ‘Don’t cry, don’t cry!’ said Trinket in a panic, laying down the dagger. ‘Of course I won’t cut your nose off. I’d sooner cut off my own. Just tell me what your name is.’
那女郎摇了摇头，眼泪更加流得多了。韦小宝道：“原来你名叫摇头猫，这名字可不大好听哪。”那女郎睁开眼来，呜咽道：“谁叫摇头猫？你才是摇头猫。”韦小宝听她答话，心中大乐，笑道：“好，我就是摇头猫。那么你叫什么？”那女郎怒道：“不说！”韦小宝道：“你不肯说，只好给你起一个名字。叫做……叫做哑巴猫。”那女郎怒道：“胡说八道，我又不是哑巴。”韦小宝坐在一叠高高堆起的少林武学典籍之上，架起了二郎腿，轻轻摇晃，见她虽满脸怒色，但秀丽绝伦，动人心魄，笑道：“那么你尊姓大名哪？”那女郎道：“我说过不说，就是不说。”韦小宝道：“我有话跟你商量，没名没姓的，说起来有多别扭。你既不肯说，我只好给你取个名字了。嗯，取个什么名字好呢？”那女郎连声道：“不要，不要，不要！”韦小宝笑道：“有了，你叫做‘韦门摇氏’。”那女郎一怔，道：“古里古怪的，我又不姓韦。”韦小宝正色道：“皇天在上，后土在下，我这一生一世，便是上刀山，下油锅，千刀万剐，满门抄斩，大逆不道，十恶不赦，男盗女娼，绝子绝孙，天打雷劈，满身生上一千零一个大疔疮，我也非娶你做老婆不可。”那女郎听他一口气的发下许多毒誓，只听得呆了，忽然听到最后一句话，不由得满脸通红，呸的一声。韦小宝道：“我姓韦，因此你已经命中注定，总之是姓韦的了。我不知你姓什么，你只是摇头，所以叫你‘韦门摇氏’。”那女郎闭起了眼睛，怒道：“世上从来没有像你这样胡言乱语的和尚。你是出家人，娶什么……娶什么……也不怕菩萨降罚，死了入十八层地狱。”
The Green Girl shook her head. ‘Look,’ said Trinket, ‘I have things to say to you. How can you talk to someone when you don’t even know what their name is. Can’t you just tell me your name?’ Again she shook her head. Her eyes remained tightly closed. ‘Well, I shall have to call you something,’ said Trinket. ‘I think I’ll call you “No Way”. “No” because you keep shaking your head, and “Way” because that’s my surname (get it?), and I’m quite determined to marry you, so you might as well get used to the idea of being Mrs Wei.’ ‘I shouldn’t think there could be another monk in the world who speaks such rubbish as you do,’ said the Green Girl. ‘You know that monks can’t marry. Probably you’ll burn in hell for just thinking of such a thing.’
韦小宝双手合十，扑的一声跪倒。那女郎听到他跪地之声，好奇心起，睁开眼来，只见他面向窗子，磕了几个头，说道：“我佛如来，阿弥陀佛，观世音菩萨、文殊菩萨、普贤菩萨、玉皇大帝、四大金刚、阎王判官、无常小鬼，大家请一起听了。我韦小宝非娶这个姑娘为妻不可。就算我死后打入十八层地狱，拔舌头，锯脑袋，万劫不得超生，那也没有什么。我是活着什么也不理，死后什么也不怕。这个老婆总之是娶定了。”
Trinket fell down on his knees, so heavily that the Green Girl opened her eyes to see what he was doing. She saw that he was kneeling, his face towards the window and his palms together, in an attitude of prayer. ‘I call on the Rulai Buddha, the Amida Buddha, Guanyin the Bodhisattva of Mercy, Manjusri the Bodhisattva of Wisdom, the Puxian Bodhisattva, the Jade Emperor, and all the host of Heaven to bear witness. I, Trinket Wei, whatever the price, even if it means suffering all the tortures of hell for a thousand, thousand years, vow that I will in this life or a life to come have this girl here for my wife.’
那女郎见他说得斩钉截铁，并无轻浮之态，不像是开玩笑，倒也害怕起来，求道：“别说了，别说了。”顿了一顿，恨恨的道：“你杀了我也好，天天打我也好，总之我是恨死了你，决计……决计不答应的。”韦小宝站起身来，道：“你答应也好，不答应也好，总而言之，言而总之，我今后八十年是跟你耗上了。就算你变了一百岁的老太婆，我若不娶你到手，仍然死不瞑目。”那女郎恼道：“你如此辱我，总有一天教你死在我手里。我要先杀了你，这才自杀。”
She thought that he was fooling, but when he got up again and she saw the strange look in his eyes, she knew he was deadly serious. ‘But I hate you,’ she said. ‘I detest you. You can kill me if you like or you can beat me every day until I die, but I shall never, never consent to be—what you said. After the way you’ve shamed and humiliated me, my only wish is that I might one day have you in my power so that I could kill you and afterwards kill myself.’
韦小宝道：“你杀我是可以的，不过那是谋杀亲夫。我如做不成你老公，不会就那么死的。”说到这句话时，不由得声音发颤。那女郎见他咬牙切齿，额头青筋暴起，心中害怕起来，又闭上了眼睛。韦小宝向着她走近几步，只觉全身发软，手足颤动，忽然间只想向她跪下膜拜，虔诚哀求，再跨得一步，喉头低低叫了一声，似是受伤的野兽嘶嚎一般，又想就此扼死了她。那女郎听到怪声，睁开眼来，见他眼露异光，尖声叫了起来。
韦小宝一怔，退后几步，颓然坐下，心想：“在皇宫之中，我曾叫方姑娘和小郡主做我大小老婆，那时嘻嘻哈哈，何等轻松自在？想搂抱便搂抱，要亲嘴便亲嘴。这小妞儿明明给老和尚点中了穴道，动弹不得，怎地我连摸一摸她的手也是不敢？”眼见她美丽的纤手从僧袍下露了出来，只想去轻轻握上一握，便是没这股勇气，忍不住骂道：“辣块妈妈！”那女郎不懂，凝视着他。韦小宝脸一红，道：“我骂自己胆小不中用，可不是骂你。”那女郎道：“你这般无法无天，还说胆小呢，你倘若胆小，可真要谢天谢地了。”一听此言，韦小宝豪气顿生，站起身来，说道：“好，我要无法无天了。我要剥光你的衣衫。”那女郎大惊，险些又晕了过去。韦小宝走到她身前，见到她目光中充满了怨毒之意，心道：“算了，算了，我韦小宝是乌龟儿子王八蛋，向你投降，不敢动手。”柔声道：“我生来怕老婆，放你走罢。”
那女郎惊惧甫减，怒气又生，说道：“你……你在那镇上，跟那些……那些坏女人胡说什么？说我师姊和我……是……是你……什么的，要捉你回去，你……你这恶人……”韦小宝哈哈大笑，道：“那些坏女人懂得什么？将来我娶你为妻之后，天下一千所堂子中的十万个婊子，排队站在我面前，韦小宝眼角儿也不瞟她们一瞟，从朝到晚，从晚到朝，一天十二个时辰，只瞧着我亲亲好老婆一个。”那女郎急道：“你再叫我一声老……老……什么的，我永远不跟你说话。”韦小宝大喜，忙道：“好，好，我不叫，我只心里叫。”那女郎道：“心里也不许叫。”韦小宝微笑道：“我心里偷偷的叫，你也不会知道。”那女郎道：“哼，我怎会不知？瞧你脸上神气古里古怪，你心里就在叫了。”
韦小宝道：“妈妈一生下我，我脸上的神气就这样古里古怪了。多半因为我一出娘胎，就知道将来要娶你为妻。”那女郎闭上眼，不再理他。韦小宝道：“喂，我又没叫你老婆，你怎地不理我了？”那女郎道：“还说没有？当面撒谎。你说娶我为……为什么的，那就是了。”韦小宝笑道：“好，这个也不说。我只说将来做了你老公……”那女郎怒极，用力闭住眼睛，此后任凭韦小宝如何东拉西扯，逗她说话，总是不答。韦小宝无法可施，想说：“你再不睬我，我要香你面孔了。”
可是这句话到了口边，立即缩住，只觉如此胁迫这位天仙般的美女，实是亵渎了她，叹道：“我只求你一件事。你跟我说了姓名，我就放你出去。”那女郎道：“你骗人。”韦小宝道：“普天下我人人都骗，只不骗你一个。这叫做大丈夫一言既出，死马难追。小妻子一言不发，活马好追。”那女郎一怔，问道：“什么死马难追，活马好追？”韦小宝道：“这是我们少林派的话，总而言之，我不骗你就是。你想，我一心一意要让你孙子叫我做爷爷，今天倘若骗了你，你儿子都不肯叫我爹爹，还说什么孙子？”那女郎先不懂他说什么孙子爷爷的，一转念间，明白他绕了弯子，又是在说那件事，轻轻说道：“我也不要你放，我受了你这般欺侮，早就不想活啦。你快一刀杀了我罢！”
‘I don’t want to kill you,’ said Trinket. ‘I’d rather kill myself. Look, just do one thing for me. Just tell me what your name is and I’ll let you go. I swear I will.’ ‘I don’t want you to let me go,’ she said. ‘You’ve dishonoured me so much that I don’t want to go out of here alive. Why don’t you just cut my diroat and have done with it?’
韦小宝见到她颈中刀痕犹新，留着一条红痕，好生歉疚，跪下地来，咚咚咚咚，向着她重重的磕了四个响头，说道：“是我对姑娘不起！”左右开弓，在自己脸颊连打了十几下，双颊登时红肿，说道：“姑娘别难过，韦小宝这混帐东西真正该打！”站起身来，过去开了房门，说道：“喂，老师侄，我要解开这位姑娘的穴道，该用什么法子？”澄观一直站在禅房门口等候。他内力深厚，韦小宝和那女郎的对答，虽微声细语，亦无不入耳，只觉这位师叔“劝说”女施主的言语，委实高深莫测，什么老公、老婆、孙子、爷爷，似乎均与武功无关，小师叔的机锋妙语太也深奥，自己佛法修为不够，未能领会。后来听得小师叔跪下磕头，自击面颊，不由得更是感佩。禅宗传法，弟子倘若不明师尊所传的微言妙义，师父往往一棒打去，大喝一声。以棒打人传法，始于唐朝德山禅师；以大喝促人醒悟者，始于唐代道一禅师。“当头棒喝”的成语，由此而来。澄观心想当年高僧以棒打人而点化，小师叔以掌击已而点化这位女施主，舍己为人，慈悲心肠更胜前人，正自感佩赞叹，听得他问起解穴之法，忙道：“这位女施主被封的是‘大包穴’，乃属足太阴脾经，师叔替她在腿上‘箕门’、‘血海’两处穴道推血过宫，即可解开。”
As she was saying this, he caught sight of the red line round her neck where the self-inflicted wound had only recently healed. A pang of remorse went through him and a strangled cry, halfway between a sob and a groan, rose up in his throat, so strange that the Green Girl felt quite frightened. ‘I know I’ve done you wrong,’ he said, falling once more on his knees beside the bed. ‘I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I really didn’t mean to.’ He held his arms out on either side of his face and began bringing them together, dealing himself heavy slaps on both his cheeks at once. ‘You mustn’t mind me,’ he cried between slaps. ‘I’m a stupid, silly idiot. I deserve to be beaten,’ After dealing himself a dozen or more of these double slaps, he got to his feet again and walked over to the door. He opened it to find Brother Simple patiently standing in exactly the same spot as before. The old monk had heard every word spoken inside the cell, but was far too unworldly or too simple to understand their meaning. He assumed from the earnestness of the tone that what Trinket was urging on the girl was a message of salvation. His admiration for Trinket’s saintliness had grown even stronger when he became aware from the sounds inside that Trinket was striking his own face. The Buddhism of the Shaolin Monastery was of the Zen variety, and Brother Simple had heard many stories of Zen Masters shouting at novices or striking them to bring about a spiritual awakening; but striking one’s own face for this purpose was rare indeed and worthy of the Holy One himself. ‘Brother,’ said Trinket, interrupting the old man’s rapt meditation on his saintliness, ‘I want to release her Vital Points. How do I go about it?’ ‘The point I closed is the Big Bag on the tract that connects the Greater Yin of the foot with the spleen. To release it, you have to reverse the flow of blood temporarily by applying pressure to the Basket Door and Sea of Blood points on the young lady’s legs.’
韦小宝道：“‘箕门’、‘血海’两穴，却在何处？”澄观捋起衣衫，指给他看膝盖内侧穴道所在，让他试拿无误，又教了推血过宫之法，说道：“师叔未习内功，解穴较慢。但推拿得半个对辰，必可解开。”韦小宝点了点头，关上房门，回到榻畔。那女郎于两人对答都听见了，惊叫：“不要你解穴，不许你碰我身子！”韦小宝寻思：“在她膝弯内侧推拿半个时辰，的确不大对头。我诚心给她解穴，但她一定说我有意轻薄。虽然老公轻薄老婆，天公地道，何况良机莫失，失机者斩。不过小妞儿性子狠，我一解开她穴道，只怕她当即一头在墙上撞死，韦小宝就要绝子绝孙了。”回头大声问道：“男女授受不亲，咱们出家人更须讲究。倘若不用推拿，可有什么法子？”澄观道：“是。师叔持戒精严，师侄佩服之至。不触对方身体而解穴，是有法子的。袖角轻轻一拂，或以一指禅功夫临空一指……啊哟，不对，小师叔未习内功，这些法子都用不上，待师侄好好想想。”其实只须他自己走进房来，袖角轻轻一拂，或以一指禅功夫临空一指，都可立时解开那女郎的穴道，但师叔既然问起，自当设法回答。可是身无内功之人，不用手指推拿而要解穴，那是何等的难事？就算他想上一年半载，也未必想得出什么法子。
‘Whereabouts on her legs?’ said Trinket. The old monk bared his own legs one after the other and showed Trinket where the points were, behind the bend of the knee. When he had shown him several times exactly how the pressure was to be applied, Trinket went inside the cell again and closed the door. But the Green Girl had been listening to their exchange and wasn’t having any. ‘I don’t want my points opened,’ she said. ‘I don’t want you to touch me.’ Trinket went outside again to ask if a point could be opened without bodily contact being made. Brother Simple knew of at least one way it could be done, with a flick of the sleeve, but the art required many years of inner cultivation. It seemed not to occur to either of them that the easiest way of resolving the problem was for Brother Simple to go inside and do the job himself.
韦小宝听他良久不答，将房门推开一条缝，只见他仰起了头呆呆出神，只怕就此三个时辰不言不动，也不出奇，于是又带上了门，回过身来，想起当日在皇宫中给沐剑屏解穴，从第一流的法子用到第九流的，在她身上拿捏打戳，毫无顾忌，她虽是郡主之尊，自己可一点也没瞧在眼里，但对眼前这无名女郎，却为什么这么战战兢兢、敬若天神？转眼向那女郎瞧去，只见她秀眉紧蹙，神色愁苦，不由得怜惜之意大起，拿起了木鱼的锤子，走到她身边，说道：“韦小宝前世欠了你的债，今世天不怕，地不怕，就只怕你小姑娘一人。现下我向你投降，我给你解穴，可不是存心占你便宜。”说着揭开僧袍，将木鱼锤子在她左腿膝弯内侧轻轻戳了几下。那女郎白了他一眼，紧闭小嘴。韦小宝又戳了几下，问道：“觉得怎样？”那女郎道：“你……你就是会说流氓话，此外什么也不会。”
Trinket went back inside and looked around. On a table beside the bed there were some books and one of those instruments called ‘wooden fish’ which monks beat as an aid to their chanting. He picked up the little hammer which lay beside it, gently uncovered one of the Green Girl’s legs, and began delicately poking in the prescribed manner at the point on it which Brother Simple had indicated. ‘You see,’ he said. ‘I’m not touching you.’ He had in fact found the correct position, but he was being too gentle to do any good. ‘Can you feel anything?’ he asked her. ‘Useless creature!’ said the Green Girl scornfully. ‘Making disgusting, guttersnipe remarks is all you’re any good at.’
澄观内力深厚，轻轻一指，劲透穴道，韦小宝木鱼锤所截之处虽然部位甚准，但力道不足，解不开被封的穴道。他听那女郎出言讽刺，怒气不可抑制，挺木鱼锤重重截了几下。那女郎“啊”的一声，韦小宝一惊，问道：“痛吗？”那女郎怒道：“我……我……我……”韦小宝又去戳她右腿膝弯，下手却轻了，戳得数下，那女郎身子微微一颤。韦小宝喜道：“成了，少林派本来只有七十二门绝技，打从今天起，共有七十三门了。这一项新绝技是高僧晦明禅师手创，叫作……叫作‘木鱼锤解穴神功’，嘿嘿……”正自得意，突然腰眼间一痛，呆了一呆，那女郎翻身坐起，伸手抢过他匕首，一剑直插入他胸中。韦小宝叫道：“啊哟，谋杀亲夫……”一交坐倒。
This was too much. He struck her angrily, this time quite hard, provoking an ‘Ow!’ which made him instantly concerned. ‘Did that hurt?’ But she was too cross to reply. He struck her again, in the crook of the other leg, but not quite so hard. This time a slight tremor ran through her whole body. ‘It worked!’ he cried joyfully. ‘It worked!’ But just as he was congratulating himself on his new skill, he felt a sudden sharp pain. The Green Girl had sat up, seized his dagger, and stuck it, with all the force she could muster, into his chest. ‘Aiyo!’ he cried. ‘You’ve murdered your own husband!’
那女郎抢过放在一旁的柳叶刀，拉开房门，疾往外窜去。澄观伸手拦住，惊道：“女施主，你……杀……杀了我师叔……那……那……”那女郎左手柳叶刀交与右手，刷刷刷连劈三刀。澄观袍袖拂出，那女郎双腿酸麻，摔倒在地。
As he slid down to a sitting position on the floor, she picked up her sword and ran to the door, planning to make a getaway. But instead of escaping, she ran straight into the arms of Brother Simple. ‘Young lady, what have you done?’ cried the old monk in distress. She slashed at him with her sword, but her legs were still weak and he had little difficulty in immobilizing her once again with a single skilled flick of his long sleeve.
澄观抢到韦小宝身边，右手中指连弹，封了他伤口四周穴道，说道：“阿弥陀佛，我佛慈悲。”三根手指抓住匕首之柄，轻轻提了出来，伤口中鲜血跟着渗出。澄观见出血不多，忙解开他衣衫，见伤口约有半寸来深，口子也不甚大，又念了几声：“阿弥陀佛。”韦小宝身穿护身宝衣，若不是匕首锋利无匹，本来丝毫伤他不得，匕首虽然透衣而过，却已无甚力道，入肉甚浅。但他眼见胸口流血，伤处又甚疼痛，只道难以活命，喃喃的道：“谋杀亲夫……咳咳，谋杀亲……亲……”那女郎倒在地下，哭道：“是我杀了他，老和尚，你快快杀了我，给他……给他……抵命便了。”澄观道：“咳，我师叔点化于你，女施主执迷不悟，也就罢了，这般行凶……杀人，未免太过。”韦小宝道：“我……我要死了，咳，谋杀亲……”
He left her lying helpless on the floor and rushed into the cell where Trinket was sitting, his back against the bed and his legs stretched out in front of him, with a dagger sticking out of his chest. With the middle finger of his right hand Brother Simple flicked the Vital Points round the place where the dagger had entered, then he took hold of the dagger and, muttering ‘Amitabha, Merciful Buddha!’, gently drew it out. A rush of blood followed, but not nearly as much as might have been expected. The wound, though very painful, was quite a shallow one, for Trinket had been wearing his protective waistcoat and it was only because he had been struck with his own almost irresistible dagger that it had pierced through the fabric at all. An ordinary dagger might have bruised him severely but would not have broken the skin. The Green Girl, lying outside, immobilized but still fully conscious, assumed that she had killed him and tearfully begged the old monk to dispatch her quickly, convinced that, sooner or later, she must pay with her own life.
澄观一怔，飞奔出房，取了金创药来，敷上他伤口，说道：“师叔，你大慈大悲，点化凶顽，你福报未尽，不会就此圆寂的。再说，你伤势不重，不打紧的。”韦小宝听他说伤势不重，精神大振，果觉伤口其实也不如何疼痛，说道：“俯耳过来，啊哟，我要死了，我要死了！”澄观弯腰将耳朵凑到他嘴边。韦小宝低声道：“你解开她穴道，可是不能让她出房，等她全身武艺都施展完了，这才……这才……”澄观道：“这才如何？”韦小宝道：“那时候……那时候才……”心想：“就算到了那时候，也不能放她。”说道：“就……就照我吩咐……快……快……我要死了，死得不能再死了！”
Ignoring the Green Girl’s cries, Brother Simple rushed off to get wound-powder to apply to the cut in Trinket’s chest. Later, as he was applying it, he told Trinket that his wound was by no means serious. He had been providentially saved: a reward, no doubt, for the saintly way in which he had attempted the Green Girl’s conversion. Now that he knew he was out of danger, Trinket’s chief concern was that Brother Simple should not let the Green Girl get away. ‘Oh, I’m dying, I’m dying,’ he groaned, sufficiently loudly for the Green Girl to hear him. Then, beckoning to Brother Simple to come closer, he whispered in the old man’s ear, ‘You can open her Vital Points now. Only, when you’ve done it, don’t let her go. Don’t forget you’ve still got to find out about her methods. Go on, go on!’
澄观听他催得紧迫，虽然不明其意，还是回过身来，弹指解开那女郎被封的穴道。那女郎眼见韦小宝对澄观说话之时鬼鬼祟祟，心想这小恶僧诡计多端，临死之时，定是安排了毒计来整治我，否则干么反而放我？当即跃起，但穴道初解，血行未畅，双腿麻软，又即摔倒。澄观呆呆的瞧着她，不住念佛。那女郎惊惧更甚，叫道：“快快一掌打死了我，折磨人的不是英雄好汉。”澄观道：“小师叔说此刻不能放你，当然也不能害死你。”那女郎大惊，脸上一红，心想：“这小恶僧说过，他说什么也要娶我为妻，否则死不瞑目，莫非……莫非他在断气之前，要……要娶我做……做什么……什么老婆？”侧身拾起地下柳叶刀，猛力往自己额头砍落。澄观袍袖拂出，卷住刀锋，左手衣袖向她脸上拂去。那女郎但觉劲风刮面，只得松手撤刀，向后跃开。澄观衣袖一弹，柳叶刀激射而上，噗的一声，钉入屋顶梁上。那女郎见他仰头望刀，左足一点，便从他左侧窜出。澄观伸手拦阻。
Somewhat puzzled by these instructions, the old monk went outside to do his bidding. Through the open door the Green Girl had witnessed the conspiratorial whispering from where she lay, but had been unable to hear what was said. She concluded that the evil little monk, knowing that he was dying, must be plotting for some horrible vengeance to be executed on her after his death, or, worse still— since he had more than once vowed that he would one day make her his wife—that he was planning for her to be forced into marrying him before he died. As soon, therefore, as she was released from her immobility, she reached for her sword and once more attempted to take her own life. But before she could do herself any harm, the old monk’s sleeve shot out and the sword dropped out of her hand.
那女郎右手五指往他眼中抓去。澄观翻手拿她右肘，说道：“‘云烟过眼’，这是江南蒋家的武功。”那女郎飞腿踢他小腹。澄观微微弯腰，这一腿便踢了个空，说道：“这一招‘空谷足音’，源出山西晋阳，乃是沙陀人的武功。不过沙陀人一定另有名称，老衲孤陋寡闻，遍查不知，女施主可知道这一招的原名么？”
She leapt up and tried to claw at his eyes, but Brother Simple effortlessly knocked her wrist back with his arm. The Eye Hazer,’ he said in his classroom voice, ‘favoured by the Jiang Family of Jiangnan.’ She kicked out at his lower belly, but he merely swayed a little to one side so that she was kicking at thin air. ‘Footfall in the Empty Valley,’ he chanted, ‘used by the Shato tribesmen of Turkestan, though I suppose they must have their own Turkish name for it. Such is my ignorance, I am afraid I have never been able to discover what it is. Do you know, by any chance, young lady?’
那女郎哪来理他，拳打足踢，指戳肘撞，招数层出不穷。澄观一一辨认，只是她出招甚快，已来不及口说，只得随手拆解，一一记在心中。那女郎连出数十招，都被他毫不费力的破解，眼见难以脱身，惶急之下，一口气转不过来，晃了几下，晕倒在地。澄观叹道：“女施主贪多务得，学了各门各派的精妙招数，身上却无内力，久战自然不济。依老衲之见，还是从头再练内力，方是正途。此刻打得脱了力，倘若救醒了你，势必再斗，不免要受内伤，还是躺着多休息一会，女施主以为如何？不过千万不可误会，以为老衲袖手旁观，任你晕倒，置之不理。啊哟，老衲胡里胡涂，你早已昏晕，自然听不到我说话，却还在说个不休。”走到榻边一搭韦小宝的脉搏，但觉平稳厚实，绝无险象，说道：“师叔不用担心，你这伤一点不要紧的。”韦小宝笑道：“这小姑娘所使的招数，你都记得么？”澄观道：“倒也记得，只是要以简明易习的手法对付，却是大大的不易。”韦小宝道：“只须记住她的招数就是。至于如何对付，慢慢再想不迟。”澄观道：“是，是，师叔指点得是。”韦小宝道：“等她拳脚功夫使完之后，再让她使刀，记住了招数。”澄观道：“对，兵刃上的招数，也要记的。只不过有一件事为难，她的柳叶刀已钉在梁上了。只怕她跳不到那么高，拿不到。”韦小宝问道：“你呢？你能跳上去取下来吗？”澄观一怔，哈哈大笑，道：“师侄真是胡涂之极。”他这么一笑，登时将那女郎惊醒。她双手一撑，跳起身来，向门口冲出。澄观左袖斜拂，向那女郎侧身推去。那女郎一个踉跄，撞向墙壁，澄观右袖跟着拂出，挡在墙前，将她身子轻轻一托，那女郎登时站稳。她一怔之际，知道自己武功和这老僧相差实在太远，继续争斗，徒然受他作弄，当即退了两步，坐在椅中。澄观奇道：“咦，你不打了？”
Ignoring his question, she followed up with several punches and kicks, all of which he blocked or evaded with the greatest of ease. At first he tried naming them, but when, with her increasing exasperation, her attacks grew wilder and more agitated, he was unable to keep up his commentary and had to content himself with identifying them mentally and trying to remember what she had done. The Green Girl was growing tired and dizzy, and since every single attack she made was frustrated and there was not the slightest chance of her overcoming the old man, whose skill in combat was clearly a hundred times greater than her own, she presently broke away from him, retreated a few steps, and plumped herself down on one of the benches which had been placed at intervals along the wall of the cloister. ‘Oh, aren’t you going to fight any more?’ asked the old monk, surprised.
那女郎气道：“打不过你，还打什么？”澄观道：“你不出手，我怎知你会些什么招式？怎能想法子来破你的武功？你快快动手罢！”那女郎心想：“好啊，原来你诱我动手，是要明白我武功家数，我偏不让你知道。”突然间跃起身来，双拳直上直下，狂挥乱打，两脚乱踢，一般的不成章法。
‘What’s the point?’ she said. ‘You will always beat me.’ ‘But I am all the time studying how to beat you,’ he said. ‘How can I finish my research when I haven’t seen all your methods of attack? My dear young lady, if you won’t fight me, could you perhaps give me a demonstration and I will sit and watch. Do, please, go on.’ ‘So that’s your game!’ thought the Green Girl. ‘You have provoked me to fight you so that you can study my methods and think of ways to beat them. I’ll take very good care that you don’t learn any more from me!’ She rose from the bench and began punching the air with her fists and kicking and stamping with her feet like a little child in a rage.
澄观大奇，叫道：“咦！啊！古怪！希奇！哎！唷！不懂！奇哉！怪也！”
Brother Simple, who had taken her place on the bench to watch this ‘demonstration’, gazed at her in astonishment. ‘Good heavens! Extraordinary! Remarkable! Oh dear, I don’t understand!’
但见她每一招都是见所未见，偶而有数招与某些门派中的招式相似，却也是小同大异，似是而非，一时之间，头脑中混乱不堪，只觉数十年勤修苦习的武学，突然全都变了样子，一切奉为天经地义、金科玉律的规则，霎时间尽数破坏无遗。他哪知道那女郎所使的，根本不是什么武功招式，只是乱打乱踢。她知道不论自己如何出手，这老僧决计不会加害，最多也不过给他点中了穴道、躺在地上动弹不得而已，他若要制住自己，原不过举手之劳，纵然自己使出最精妙的武功，结果也无分别，不如就此乱打乱踢。你要查知我武功的招式，我偏偏教你查不到。澄观熟知天下各门各派的武功，竟想不到世上尽有成千成万全然没学过武功之人，打起架来，出拳便打，发足便踢，懂什么拳法脚法，招数正误？但见那女郎各种奇招怪式，源源不绝，无一不是生平从所未见，向所未闻，不由得惶然失措。他毕生长于少林寺中，自剃度以来，从未出过寺门一步。
少林寺中有人施展拳脚，自然每一招都有根有据，有人讲到各派武功，自然皆是精妙独到之招，这些小孩子的胡打乱踢，人人都见得多了，偏偏就是这位少林寺般若堂首座、武学渊博的澄观大师从来没见过，也从来没听人说过。他再看得十余招，不由得目瞪口呆，连“奇哉怪也”的感叹之辞也说不出口了，眼前种种招式，纷至沓来：“这似乎是武当长拳的‘倒骑龙’，可是收式不对。难道是从崆峒派‘云起龙骧’这一招中化出来？咦，这一脚踢得更加怪了，这样直踢出去，给人随手一拿，便抓住了足踝。但武学之道，大巧不能胜至拙，其中必定藏有极厉害的后着变化。啊，这一招她双手抓来，要抓我头发，可是我明明没有头发，那么这是虚招了。武术讲究虚中有实，实中有虚，为什么要抓和尚头发，其中深意，不可不细加参详……”
那女郎出手越乱，澄观越感迷惘，渐渐由不解而起敬佩，由敬佩而生畏惧。韦小宝眼见那女郎胡乱出手，澄观却一本正经地凝神钻研，忍不住“哈”的一声，笑了出来。这一笑牵动伤处，甚是疼痛，只是咬牙忍住，一时又痛又好笑，难当之极。澄观正自惶惑失措，忽然听得韦小宝发笑，登时面红过耳，心道：“师叔笑我不识得这女施主的奇妙招数，只怕要请她来当般若堂的首座。”一回头，见他神色痛苦，更感歉仄：“师叔心地仁厚，要我将首座之位让了给这位女施主，这话一时却说不出口。”但见那女郎拳脚越来越乱，心想：“古人说道，武功到于绝诣，那便羚羊挂角，无迹可寻。听说前朝有位独孤求败大侠，又有位令狐冲大侠，以无招胜有招，当世无敌，难道……难道……”他只须上前一试，随便一拳一脚，便能把那女郎打倒，只是武学大师出手，必先看明对方招数，谋定后动，既对那女郎的乱打乱踢全然不识，便如黔虎初见驴子，惶恐无已。那女郎却也不敢向他攻击。一个乱打乱踢，愤怒难抑；一个心惊胆战，胡思乱想。那女郎乱打良久，手足酸软，想到终究难以脱困，心中一阵气苦，突然一晃身子，坐倒在地。澄观大吃一惊，心道：“故老相传，武功练到极高境界，坐在地下即可遥遥出手伤人，只怕……只怕……”脑中本已一片混乱，惶急之下，热血上冲，登时晕了过去，慢慢坐倒。
The forms of attack were so unfamiliar and followed each other in such rapid succession that he suspected some mysterious, half-magical form of combat which had escaped him throughout all his years of study. His brain was whirling, a dreadful spiritual blackness possessed his soul as he reflected that the vast corpus of learning it had taken him a lifetime to acquire was perhaps invalid, and by the time the Green Girl ended her wild dance and sat down, exhausted, on the floor, the poor man was so dizzy and his mental faculties in such confusion that he fainted.
那女郎又惊又喜，生怕他二人安排下什么毒辣诡计，不敢上前去杀这老少二僧，起身便即冲出禅房。般若堂众僧忽见一个少女向外疾奔，都是惊诧不已，未得尊长号令，谁也不敢上前阻拦。韦小宝卧在榻上，也只有干瞪眼的份儿。
The Green Girl, scarcely believing her eyes, watched him keel over, then, when it became clear that he really was unconscious, she seized the opportunity to pick her sword up and run away. As she sped through the Prajna Hall, the monks there looked at this fleeting female vision in astonishment, but, lacking the authorization of their superior, dared not do anything to stop her, so that she actually succeeded in getting out of the monastery unchallenged.
过了良久，澄观才悠悠醒转，满脸羞惭，说道：“师叔，我……我实在愧对本寺的列祖列宗。”韦小宝苦笑道：“你到底想到哪里去啦？”澄观道：“这位女施主武功精妙，师侄一招也识他不得，孤陋寡闻，实在惭愧之至。”用心记忆那女郎的招式，可是她招数变幻无方，全无脉络可循，却哪里记得住了？他摇摇晃晃的站起身来，手扶墙壁，又欲晕倒。韦小宝笑道：“你……你说她这样乱打一气，也是精妙武功？哈哈，呵呵，这……这可笑……笑死我了。”澄观奇道：“师叔说这……这是乱打一气，不……不是精妙武功？”韦小宝按住伤口，竭力忍笑，额头汗珠一粒粒渗将出来，不住咳嗽，笑道：“这是天下每个小孩儿……小孩儿……都……都会的……哈哈……啊哟……笑死我了。”
It took some time for Brother Simple to regain consciousness. When he finally came to and saw that the Green Girl had gone, he felt that he had been defeated by superior knowledge and went in to see Trinket, full of shame and confusion, to confess his failure. ‘Father Treasure,’ he said, ‘I am very ashamed. In the demonstration just given by that remarkable young woman, I was unable to identify a single movement. I am unworthy to teach Martial Arts in this monastery any longer.’ Trinket had witnessed some of the Green Girl’s performance through the open doorway and, when he saw the old monk’s tragic expression, could not refrain from laughing. Unfortunately, laughter proved so painful that the sweat stood out on his forehead and he had to press his hands against the place on his chest where he had been stabbed before he was able to answer. That wasn’t kungfu you were watching, Brother,’ he said. ‘She was just throwing her arms and legs about to fool you, like a little brat having a tantrum.’
澄观吁了一口气，心下兀自将信将疑，脸上却有了笑容，说道：“师叔，当真这是乱打一气？怎地我从来没见过？”韦小宝笑道：“少林寺中，自然从来没这等功夫。”澄观抬头想了半天，一拍大腿，道：“是了。这位女施主这些拳脚虽然奇特，其实极易破解，只须用少林长拳最粗浅的招式，便可取胜。只是……只是师侄心想天下决无如此容易之事，大巧若拙，大智若愚，良贾深藏若虚，外表看来极浅易的招式之中，定然隐伏有高深武学精义。难道这些拳脚，真的并无高深之处？这倒奇了。这位女施主为什么要在这里施展，那些招式似乎不登大雅之堂……那岂不是贻笑方家么？”韦小宝笑道：“我看也没什么奇怪。她使不出什么新招了，就只好胡乱出手。唉，哈哈，呵呵！”忍不住又大笑起来。
The old monk looked surprised. ‘Do you really think so, Father? Well, well. Bless my soul!’ Trinket was obliged to hold his chest again for fear of laughing.
Matters of the Heart
韦小宝所受刀伤甚轻，少林寺中的金创药又极具灵效，养息得十多天，也就好了。他是当今皇帝的替身，在寺中地位尊崇，谁也不敢问他的事，此事既非众所周知，只要他自己不说，旁人也就不知。
The by no means dangerous stab-wound on Trinket’s chest responded rapidly to the Shaolin Monastery’s excellent wound-dressings and by the end of a fortnight it had very nearly healed. As to the circumstances in which he had been wounded: the three or four monks of the Prajna Hall who had seen the girl kept their own counsel, and the rest, because Trinket was the Emperor’s proxy and a very senior monk, were not inclined to ask questions, so the episode passed without comment.
他养伤之时，澄观将两个女郎所施的各种招式一一录明，想出了破解的法子，一等韦小宝伤愈，便一招一式的传他。
While Trinket was recovering, Brother Simple wrote down as many of the forms of attack used by the two young women as he could remember and worked out appropriate ways of countering them, with a view to demonstrating them to Trinket when he was better.
澄观所教虽杂，但大致以“拈花擒拿手”为主。“拈花擒拿手”是少林派的高深武学，纯以浑厚内力为基，出手平淡冲雅，不杂丝毫霸气。禅宗历代相传，当年释迦牟尼在灵山会上，手拈金色波罗花示众，众皆默然，不解其意，独有迦叶尊者破颜微笑。佛祖说道：“我有正法眼藏，涅槃妙心，实相无相，微妙法门，不立文字，教外别传，付嘱摩诃迦叶。”摩诃迦叶是佛祖的十大弟子之一，称为“头陀第一”，禅宗奉之为初祖。少林寺属于禅宗，注重心悟。想佛祖拈花，迦叶微笑，不着一言，妙悟于心，那是何等超妙的境界？后人以“拈花”两字为这路擒拿手之名，自然每一招都是姿式高雅，和寻常擒拿手的扳手攀腿，大异其趣。只是韦小宝全无内力根基，以如此斯文雅致的手法拿到了高手身上，只要被对方轻轻一挥，势必摔出几个筋斗，跌得鼻青目肿，不免号啕大哭，微笑云云，那是全然说不上了，幸而那两个女郎也是全无内力，以此对付，倒也用得上。澄观心想对方是两个少女，不能粗鲁相待，因此教的着重于这路手法。韦小宝当日向海大富学武功，由于有人监督，兼之即学即用，总算学到了一点儿，此后陈近南传他武功图谱，只学得几次，便畏难不学了。至于洪教主夫妇所授的救命六招，也只马马虎虎的学个大概，离神龙岛后便不再练习。
可是这一次练武，为的是要捉那绿衫女郎来做老婆，自己做不成她老公便得上刀山，下油锅，死后身入十八层地狱，此事非同小可，学招时居然十分用心，一招一式，和澄观拆解试演。学得几天，又懒了起来，忽然想到双儿：“这小丫头武功不弱，大可对付得了这两个姑娘，我只须叫双儿在身边保驾便是，不用自己学武功了。”转念又想：“我自己使本事拿住那绿衣姑娘，香香她的面孔，这才够味。叫双儿点了她穴道，我再去香面孔，太也没种，这绿衣姑娘更加要瞧我不起。而且叫好双儿做这等事，她纵然听话，心里一定难过，我也不能太对她不住了。就算两人的脸孔都香，公平交易，她二人也必都不喜欢。”终于强打精神，又学招式。这天澄观说道：“师叔，你用心学这种武功，其实……其实没有什么用处的。你这样拿在我身上，倘若我内力一吐，你的手腕……你的手腕就这个……就那个……”韦小宝笑道：“我的手腕就这个那个喀喇一响，断之哀哉了。”澄观道：“你老望安，我是决不会对你使上内劲的，师侄万万不敢。不过依师侄之见，还是从头自少林长拳学起，循序渐进，才是正途。”韦小宝道：“咱们练的招式为什么不是正途？”澄观道：“这些招式没有内功根基，遇上了高手，不论变化多么巧妙，总不免一败涂地。只有对付那两位女施主，才有用处。”
As soon as he was sufficiently recovered, Trinket agreed willingly enough to undergo some training, but after only a few days his enthusiasm was waning, and Brother Simple, for his part, although he had tried to accommodate his pupil by taking short cuts, was coming to the conclusion that it was only by going back to the very beginning of the course normally prescribed for Shaolin novices and training systematically that Trinket would ever get anywhere. ‘What we are doing at present,’ he said, ‘would only serve against the two young women. It would be useless against anyone who had received a proper training.’
韦小宝笑道：“那好极了，我就是要学来对付这位女施主。”澄观向着他迷惘瞪视，大惑不解，说道：“倘然今后师叔再不遇到那两位女施主，这番功夫心血，岂不是白费了？又耽误了正经练功的时日。”韦小宝摇头道：“我倘若遇不到这位女施主，那是非死不可，练了正经功夫，又有什么用？”澄观说的是“那两位女施主”，韦小宝说的却是“这位女施主”。澄观更是奇怪，问道：“师叔是不是中了那女施主的毒，因此非找到她来取解药不可，否则的话，就会性命难保？”韦小宝心道：“我说的是男女风话，这老和尚却夹缠到哪里去了？”正色道：“正是，正是。我中了她的毒，这毒钻入五脏六腑，全身骨髓，非她本人不解。”澄观“啊哟”一声，道：“本寺澄照师弟善于解毒，我去请他来给师叔瞧瞧。”韦小宝忍笑道：“不用，不用，我所中的是慢性毒，只有她本人才是解药，旁的人谁都不管用。澄照老和尚更加没用。”澄观点头道：“原来只有她本人才有解药。”韦小宝说“只有她本人才是解药”，澄观误作“只有她本人才有解药”，一字之差，意思大不相同。老和尚心下担忧，喃喃自语：“唉，师叔中了这位女施主的独门奇毒，幸亏是慢性的……”那女郎武功招式繁多，澄观所拟的拆法也是变化不少，有些更颇为艰难，韦小宝武功全无根柢，一时又怎学得会？他每日里和澄观过招试演，往往将这个白须皓然的老僧，当作了是那红颜绿衫的女郎，有时竟然言语轻佻，出手温柔，好在澄观一概不懂，只道这位小师叔妙悟佛法，禅机深湛，自己蠢笨，难明精诣。
‘But I only want the moves for using against the two girls,’ said Trinket. ‘You may never see them again,’ said Brother Simple. ‘In that case, isn’t this rather a waste?’ ‘But I must see them again,’ said Trinket. ‘I mean I must see the Green Girl again.’ Brother Simple was puzzled. But then a thought struck him. ‘Did she poison you, by any chance? Do you mean she has poisoned you and you need to see her to get the antidote?’ Trinket saw that it would be useless to try explaining matters of the heart to someone as unworldly as Brother Simple and decided to go along with his suggestion. That’s exactly the trouble,’ he said. ‘I’ve got her poison in my bones, in every part of me. I’ve got to see her again if I want to get better.’ ‘Brother Radiant knows a lot about poisons,’ said Brother Simple. ‘Shall I ask him to come over and examine you?’ ‘No, no,’ said Trinket. ‘He couldn’t do anything about it. It’s got to be that girl.’
A Mongol Prince and a Qrand Lama from Tibet
这一日两人正在禅房中谈论二女的刀法，般若堂的一名执事僧来到门外，说道：“方丈大师有请师叔祖和师伯，请到大殿叙话。”两人来到大雄宝殿，只见殿中有数十名外客，或坐或站，方丈晦聪禅师坐在下首相陪。上首坐着三人。第一人是身穿蒙古服色的贵人，二十来岁年纪；第二人是个中年喇嘛，身材干枯，矮瘦黝黑；第三人是个军官，穿戴总兵服色，约莫四十来岁。站在这三人身后的数十人有的是武官，有的是喇嘛，另有十数人穿着平民服色，眼见个个形貌健悍，身负武功。
A few days after this exchange, Trinket and Brother Simple were in the latter’s cell discussing some fine points concerning the swordsmanship practised by the two girls when one of the Prajna Hall monks came in to say that they were wanted by the Abbot in the monastery’s main hall. When they arrived, they found thirty or forty visitors there, three of them sitting with the Abbot, the rest standing. Of the three sitting with the Abbot, the first was a young man in his early twenties who, to judge from his dress, appeared to be a Mongol nobleman; the second was a tall, thin, red-robed lama of middle years; and the third was a fortyish military man wearing the uniform of a high-ranking officer. Of the thirty or forty men standing behind them, some were army officers, some were lamas, while a dozen or so of them were dressed in civilian clothes but looked as if they might have had some sort of military training and knew how to fight.
晦聪方丈见韦小宝进殿，便站起身来，说道：“师弟，贵客降临本寺。这位是蒙古葛尔丹王子殿下，这位是西藏大喇嘛昌齐大法师，这位是云南平西王麾下总兵马宝马大人。”转身向三人道：“这位是老衲的师弟晦明禅师。”
‘Ah, Father,’ said Father Wisdom as Trinket entered, ‘our monastery has some distinguished guests today. This gentleman is His Highness the Mongol Prince Galdan; this is the Grand Lama sDe-srid Sangs-rgyas-rgya-mtsho from Tibet—in China he is known as Father Sangge; and this is Brigadier Ma Bao, who is on the staff of His Highness the Satrap of Yunnan.’ ‘And this,’ he said, turning to the three men he had just introduced and pointing to Trinket, ‘is my Brother in the Truth, Father Treasure.’
众人见韦小宝年纪幼小，神情贼忒嘻嘻，十足是个浮滑小儿，居然是少林寺中与方丈并肩的禅师，均感讶异。葛尔丹王子忍不住笑了出来，说道：“这位小高僧真是小得有趣，哈哈，古怪，古怪。”韦小宝合十道：“阿弥陀佛，这位大王子真是大得滑稽，嘻嘻，希奇，希奇！”葛尔丹怒道：“我有什么滑稽希奇？”韦小宝道：“小僧有什么有趣古怪，殿下便有什么滑稽希奇了，难兄难弟，彼此彼此，请请。”说着便在晦聪方丈的下首坐下，澄观站在他身后。众人听了韦小宝的说话，都觉莫测高深，心中暗暗称奇。
All those present were more than a little surprised at hearing this disreputable-looking juvenile introduced as an equal-ranking colleague of the Abbot. The Mongol Galdan laughed out loud. ‘Such a little Father! Very amusing.’ Trinket pressed his palms together and bowed. ‘Such a big Prince! Very funny.’ ‘What is funny about me, please? I should like to know,’ Prince Galdan said angrily. ‘What’s amusing about me, then?’ said Trinket. And he sat down unconcernedly in the chair next to the Abbot. It was clear from the looks of the others present that they didn’t know what to make of him.
晦聪方丈道：“三位贵人降临寒寺，不知有何见教？”昌齐喇嘛道：“我们三人在道中偶然相遇，言谈之下，都说少林寺是中原武学泰山北斗，好生仰慕。我们三人都僻处边地，见闻鄙陋，因此上一同前来宝寺瞻仰，得见高僧尊范，不胜荣幸。”他虽是西藏喇嘛，却说得好一口北京官话，清脆明亮，吐属文雅。
‘Well, gentlemen,’ said Father Wisdom, ‘to what do we owe the honour of this visit?’ The three of us all happened to be passing through this area,’ said the Grand Lama Sangge. ‘We have heard of the famous Shaolin Monastery and we all come from obscure and backward places, so we decided to call on you in the hope that we might have the benefit of your instruction.’ Unlike the lesser lama Brother Bayen, whom Trinket had run into on an earlier occasion on Wutai, this one spoke like an educated Chinese and with a passable Peking accent.
晦聪道：“不敢当。蒙古、西藏、云南三地，素来佛法昌盛。三位久受佛法光照，自是智慧明澈，还盼多加指点。”昌齐喇嘛说的是武学，晦聪方丈说的却是佛法。少林寺虽以武功闻名天下，但寺中高僧皆以勤修佛法为正途，向来以为武学只是护持佛法的末节。
‘You are too polite,’ said Father Wisdom. ‘Mongolia, Tibet, and Yunnan all have distinguished traditions of Buddhist teaching. I cannot believe that we in this monastery can have anything to teach you.’ Sangge had, of course, been referring to the Martial Arts for which the Shaolin Monastery was famous. Whether the Abbot had misunderstood him or was only pretending to do so it would be hard to say.
葛尔丹道：“听说少林寺历代相传，共有七十二门绝技，威震天下，少有匹敌。方丈大师可否请贵寺众位高僧一一试演，好让小王等一开眼界？”晦聪道：“好教殿下得知，江湖上传闻不足凭信。敝寺僧侣勤修参禅，以求正觉，虽然也有人闲来习练武功，也只是强身健体而已，区区小技，不足挂齿。”葛尔丹道：“方丈，你这可太也不光明磊落了。你试演一下这七十二项绝技，我们也不过是瞧瞧而已，又偷学不去的，何必小气？”
‘All the world has heard of the seventy-two incomparable fighting skills of the Shaolin Monastery,’ said Prince Galdan. ‘Could you not get your monks together to give us a little demonstration?’ ‘You mustn’t believe all the things that people say about us,’ said Father Wisdom. ‘All our monks here, without exception, devote their lives to the pursuit of Zen as a means of obtaining enlightenment. Although it is true that a number of them devote some of their time to training in kungfu, they do so only as a means of keeping their bodies fit and their minds alert. We attach no special importance to such exercises.’ ‘Are you not being a little devious, Abbot?’ said Prince Galdan. ‘We would like only to see a demonstration of the seventy-two skills. We do not intend to steal them from you. Why be so grudging?’
少林寺名气太大，上门来领教武功之人，千余年来几乎每月皆有，有的固是诚心求艺，有的却是恶意寻衅，寺中僧侣总是好言推辞。就算来者十分狂妄，寺僧也必以礼相待，不与计较，只有来人当真动武伤人，寺僧才迫不得已，出手反击，总是教来人讨不了好去。像葛尔丹王子这等言语，晦聪方丈早已不知听了多少，当下微微一笑，说道：“三位若肯阐明禅理，讲论佛法，老僧自当召集僧众，恭聆教益。至于武功什么的，本寺向有寺规，决计不敢妄自向外来的施主们班门弄斧。”葛尔丹双眉一挺，大声道：“如此说来，少林寺乃是浪得虚名。寺中僧侣的武功狗屁不如，一钱不值。”
‘If you gentlemen wish to discuss the Buddhist dharma with us, I will gladly summon the Brothers,’ said Father Wisdom, ‘but not for a demonstration of martial skills. That is something expressly forbidden by the rules of our Order.’ Prince Galdan’s eyebrows went up. ‘It seems that the reputation of this monastery is a hollow sham. It is—how do you Chinese say?—not worth fart.’
晦聪微笑道：“人生在世，本是虚妄，本就狗屁不如，一钱不值。五蕴皆空，色身已是空的，名声更是身外之物。殿下说敝寺浪得虚名，那也说得是。”葛尔丹没料得这老和尚竟没半分火气，不禁一怔，站起身来，哈哈大笑，指着韦小宝道：“小和尚，你也是狗屁不如，一钱不值之人么？”韦小宝嘻嘻一笑，说道：“大王子当然是胜过小和尚了。小和尚确是狗屁不如，一钱不值。大王子却是有如狗屁，值得一钱，这叫做胜了一筹。”
‘We are indeed taught that this world we live in is a hollow sham,’ said Father Wisdom smiling gently. ‘Not worth a fart, as you put it. What you say about the reputation of this monastery is of course correct.’ Prince Galdan had not expected so mild a response. He pointed, laughing, at Trinket. ‘So. And this little monk, too, he is not worth fart?’ Trinket smiled cheerfully back at him. ‘I’m certainly not worth as much as you, Your Highness,’ he said. ‘So, if I’m not worth a fart, it’s safe to say that Your Highness is worth a fart. A big fart.’
站着的众人之中，登时有几人笑了出来。葛尔丹大怒，忍不住便要离座动武，随即心想：“这小和尚在少林寺中辈份甚高，只怕真有些古怪，也未可知。”呼呼喘气，将满腔怒火强行按捺。韦小宝道：“殿下不必动怒，须知世上最臭的不是狗屁，而是人言。有些人说出话来，臭气冲天，好比……好比……嘿嘿，那也不用多说了。至于一钱不值，还不是最贱，最贱的乃是欠了人家几千万、几百万两银子，抵赖不还。殿下有无亏欠，自己心里有数。”葛尔丹张口愕然，一时不知如何对答。晦聪方丈说道：“师弟之言，禅机渊深，佩服，佩服。世事因果报应，有因必有果。做了恶事，必有恶果。一钱不值，也不过无善无恶，比之欠下无数孽债，却又好得多了。”禅宗高僧，无时无刻不在探求禅理，韦小宝这几句话，本来只是讥刺葛尔丹的寻常言语，可是听在晦聪方丈耳里，只觉其中深藏机锋。
Prince Galdan leapt up in a rage and was on the point of striking him. But then he reflected that the only reason this little monk had such high standing in the monastery must be that he was exceptionally skilled in Martial Arts. With some difficulty he restrained himself and sat down again. There are much worse things than not being worth a fart,’ said Trinket. ‘Owing hundreds and thousands of taels and not being able to pay them back, for instance—that’s much worse.’ ‘How true!’ said Father Wisdom. ‘My brother has stated a profound truth. It is the law of karma that evil actions incur a debt of evil and good ones a good reward. Not to be worth a fart, that is to have incurred neither good nor evil karma. How much better to be owing neither good nor evil than to have incurred an infinite debt of evil karma! The parable is an excellent one.’
澄观听方丈这么一解，登时也明白了，不由得欢喜赞叹：“晦明师叔年少有德，妙悟至理。老衲跟着他老人家学了几个月，近来参禅，脑筋似乎已开通了不少。”一个小和尚胡言乱语，两个老和尚随声附和，倒似是和葛尔丹有意的过不去。葛尔丹满脸通红，突然急纵而起，向韦小宝扑来。宾主双方相对而坐，相隔二丈有余，可是他身手矫捷，一扑即至，双手成爪，一抓面门，一抓前胸，手爪未到，一股劲风已将他全身罩住。韦小宝便欲抵挡，已毫无施展余地，只有束手待毙。晦聪方丈右手袖子轻轻拂出，挡在葛尔丹之前。葛尔丹一股猛劲和他衣袖一撞，只觉胸口气血翻涌，便如撞在一堵棉花作面、钢铁为里的厚墙上一般，身不由主的急退三步，待欲使劲站住，竟然立不住足，又退了三步，其时撞来之力已然消失，可是霎时之间，自己全身力道竟也无影无踪，大骇之下，双膝一软，便即坐倒，心道：“糟糕，这次要大大出丑。”心念甫转，只觉屁股碰到硬板，竟已回坐入自己原来的椅子。晦聪方丈袍袖这一拂之力，轻柔浑和，绝无半分霸气，于对方撞来的力道，顷刻间便估量得准确异常，刚好将他弹回原椅，力道用得稍重，葛尔丹势必坐裂木椅，向后摔跌，力道用得略轻，他未到椅子，便已坐倒，不免坐在地下。来人中武功高深的，眼见他这轻轻一拂之中，孕育了武学绝诣，有人忍不住便喝出彩来。葛尔丹没有当场出丑，心下稍慰，暗吸一口气，内力潜生，并未给这老僧化去，又是一喜，随即想到适才如此鲁莽，似乎没有出丑，其实已大大的出丑，登时满脸通红，听得身后有人喝彩，料想不是称赞自己给人家这么一撞撞得好，更是恼怒。韦小宝惊魂未定，晦聪转过头来，向他说道：“师弟，你定力当真高强，外逆横来，不见不理。《大宝积经》云：‘如人在荆棘林，不动即刺不伤。妄心不起，恒处寂灭之乐。一会妄心才动，即被诸有刺伤。’故经云：‘有心皆苦，无心即乐。’师弟年纪轻轻，禅定修为，竟已达此‘时时无心、刻刻不动’的极高境界，实是宿根深厚，大智大慧。”
Brother Simple was glad to hear the Abbot praising his saintly young companion. ‘I have learned much from Father Treasure since I have been working with him,’ he said. ‘Although he is so young, he has advanced far along the path towards enlightenment.’ The two older men’s praise of this impertinent little monk struck Galdan as a deliberate provocation. He leapt up once more, determined this time to do him an injury. Before he could hurt him, however, Father Wisdom’s long sleeve shot out and he stepped back and sat down heavily in his seat. How this had happened he did not understand. It felt as if he had been blown back by a small but powerful wind.
他哪里知道韦小宝所以非但没有还手招架，甚至连躲闪逃避之意也未显出，只不过葛尔丹的扑击实在来得太快，所谓“迅雷不及掩耳”，并非不想掩耳，而是不及掩耳。晦聪方丈以明心见性为正宗功夫，平时孜孜兀兀所专注者，尽在如何修到无我的境界，是以一见韦小宝竟然不理会自己的生死安危，便不由得佩服之极，至于自己以“破衲功”衣袖一拂之力将葛尔丹震开，反觉渺不足道。澄观更加佩服得五体投地，赞道：“金刚经有云：‘无我相，无人相，无众生相，无寿者相’，晦明师叔竟已修到了这境界，他日自必得证阿褥多罗三藐三菩提。”葛尔丹本已怒不可遏，听这两个老和尚又来大赞这小和尚，当即大叫：“哈里斯巴儿，尼马哄，加奴比丁儿！”
All this time Trinket had not even moved. This was partly from fright and partly because he was not expecting the attack and had not had time to respond. To Father Wisdom and Brother Simple, however, he appeared to have shown remarkable restraint. Father Wisdom now launched into a short homily, interlarded with quotations from the Buddhist scriptures, on the virtues of impassivity, ending with further commendation, in which Brother Simple joined, of Trinket’s spiritual advancement. This so enraged Galdan that he suddenly interrupted with a barked-out order that none of the Chinese present could understand. ‘Hanisbal nimahong kanubidigar!’
他身后武士突然手臂急扬，黄光连闪，九枚金镖分击晦聪、澄观、韦小宝三人胸口。双方相距既近，韦小宝等又不懂葛尔丹喝令发镖的蒙古语，猝不及防之际，九镖势劲力急，已然及胸。晦聪和澄观同时叫声：“啊哟！”晦聪仍是使“破衲功”，袍袖一掩，已将三镖卷起。澄观双掌一合，使一招“敬礼三宝”，将三枚金镖都合在掌中。射向韦小宝的三镖噗的一声响，却都已打在他胸口。这九镖陡发齐至，晦聪和澄观待要救援，已然不及，都大吃一惊，却听得当当嘟嘟几声响，三枚金镖落在地下。韦小宝身穿护身宝衣，金镖伤他不得。
A number of the Mongol henchmen behind him raised their arms and there was a rapid succession of little flashes as nine metal darts sped one after the other through the air, three towards the Abbot, three towards Brother Simple, and three towards Trinket. Despite the lack of warning, neither Father Wisdom nor Brother Simple was hurt. Father Wisdom disposed of the three aimed at him by flicking his long sleeve; Brother Simple caught the three aimed at him by slapping his hands on them as if he was catching flies; but Trinket, once again taken unawares, sat motionless as the darts hit his chest and fell—link link link—on the floor. Once more the wonderful waistcoat had saved him, though one of the darts had landed near the newly healed stab-wound on his chest and hurt so intensely that it cost him a great effort not to cry out.
这一来，大殿上众人无不耸动。眼见这小和尚年纪幼小，居然已练成少林派内功最高境界的“金刚护体神功”，委实不可思议，均想：“难怪这小和尚能身居少林派“晦”字辈，与少林寺住持、成名已垂数十年的晦聪方丈并肩。”其实晦聪和澄观接镖的手段也都高明之极，若非内外功俱臻化境，决难办到，只是韦小宝所显的“本事”太过神妙，人人对这两位老僧便不加注意了。
There were gasps of amazement from the visitors. Most of them had heard of the ‘adamantine body’, the temporary immunity to weapons said to be attained by a very few Martial Arts practitioners after years of ‘internal’ training involving breath control, meditation, and various secret exercises, but none had ever seen it, and seeing it now (apparently) demonstrated by one so young struck them as doubly miraculous. The Grand Lama Sangge was the only one who affected to be unimpressed.
众人群相惊佩之际，昌齐喇嘛笑道：“小高僧的“金刚护体神功’练到了这等地步，也可说大为不易，只不过这神功似乎尚有欠缺，还不能震开暗器，以致僧袍上给戳出了三个小洞。”故老相传，这“金刚护体神功”练到登峰造极之时，周身有一层无形罡气，敌人袭来的兵刃暗器尚未及身，已给震开，可是那也只是武林中传说而已，也不知是否真有其人能够练成。昌齐喇嘛如此说法，众人都知不过是鸡蛋里找骨头，硬要贬低敌手身价。韦小宝给三枚金镖打得胸口剧痛，其中一枚撞在伤口之侧，更是痛入骨髓，一口气转不过来，哪里说得出话？只好勉强一笑。众人都道他修为极高，不屑与昌齐这等无理取闹的言语争辩。好几个人心中都说：“你说他这门神功还没练得到家，那么我射你三镖试试，只怕你胸口要开三个大洞，却不是衣服上戳破三个小洞了。”只是众人同路而来，不便出言讥嘲。葛尔丹见韦小宝如此厉害，满腔怒火登时化为乌有，心想：“少林派武功，果然大有门道。”
‘Our young friend has made remarkable progress in the cultivation of the “adamantine body”,’ he said with a sort of sneering smile, ‘but I believe the ultimate aim of people who undertake this training is the creation of a protective aura round the body which prevents weapons or missiles from even touching it. I think our young friend still has quite a long way to go before he attains that level of immunity.’ Trinket, still struggling not to cry out in pain, was incapable of answering and could only manage a rather twisted smile; but his silence merely added to the admiration of those present, for it seemed to them that only a person who had reached so high a level of inner training could afford to treat pettiness like the Grand Lama’s with contempt. ‘How would you manage if we threw a few darts at youT they felt like saying, but were too polite to do so.
昌齐又道：“少林寺的武功，我们已见识到了，自然不是浪得虚名，狗屁不如。只不过听说贵寺窝藏妇女，于这清规戒律，却未免有亏。”晦聪脸色一沉，说道：“大喇嘛此言差矣！敝寺素不接待女施主进寺礼佛，窝藏妇女之事，从何说起？”昌齐笑道：“可是江湖上沸沸扬扬，却是众口一辞。”晦聪方丈微微一笑，说道：“江湖流言，何必多加理会？终须像晦明师弟一般，于外界横逆之来，全不动心，这才是悟妙理、证正觉的功夫。”昌齐喇嘛道：“听说这位小高僧的禅房之中，便藏着一位绝色美女，而且是他强力绑架而来。难道晦明禅师对这位美女，也是全不动心么？”
‘After what we have just witnessed,’ Sangge continued, ‘I would agree that the Shaolin Monastery’s reputation as an incomparable centre for training in the Martial Arts is fully justified. Certainly it could not be said that it is, as the Abbot here earlier suggested, “not worth a fart”. The same cannot, I fear, be said about the moral reputation of a monastery which conceals females on its premises.’ Father Wisdom looked grave. ‘Your Reverence is mistaken. We do not even allow female visitors to our monastery. The idea that we are hiding women here is absurd.’ ‘Yet such is the current rumour we have encountered on our travels,’ said Sangge. Father Wisdom smiled. ‘As a man of religion, Your Reverence must know better than to be moved by current rumours. Father Treasure here teaches us all a lesson in how to remain unmoved.’ ‘But it is precisely this young Father who is said to be concealing a beautiful young woman in his cell,’ said Sangge. ‘According to what we have heard, he tied her up and brought her in here a prisoner—kidnapped her, in fact.’
韦小宝这时已缓过气来，大吃一惊：“他们怎么知道了？”随即明白：“是了，那穿蓝衫的姑娘逃了出去，自然是去跟她们师长说了。看来这些人是她搬来的救兵，今日搭救我老婆来了。他说我房中有个美女，那么我老婆逃了出去，还没跟他们遇上。”当即微微一笑，说道：“我房中有没有美女，一看便知，各位有兴，不妨便去瞧瞧。”葛尔丹大声道：“好，我们便去搜查个水落石出。”说着站起身来，左手一挥，喝道：“搜寺！”他手下的从人便欲向殿后走去。
Trinket was startled. First he wondered how the Grand Lama knew all this. Then he wondered how it was that he knew so much yet didn’t know that the Green Girl had got away. After thinking for a moment it dawned on him. He must have got it from the Blue Girl. And the Green Girl had not yet made contact with her. That at least was good news. There aren’t any young women in my cell,’ he said, ‘but if you want to, you are very welcome to look.’ ‘We will,’ said Galdan. He turned to the men behind him. ‘Search the monastery!’ The men began to move.
晦聪说道：“殿下要搜查本寺，不知是奉了谁的命令？”葛尔丹说道：“是我本人下令就行了，何必再奉别人命令？”晦聪道：“这话不对了。殿下是蒙古王子，若在蒙古，自可下令任意施为。少林寺不在蒙古境内，却不由殿下管辖。”葛尔丹指着马总兵道：“那么他是朝廷命官，由他下令搜寺，这总成了。”他眼见少林僧武功高强，人数众多，倘若动武，己方数十人可不是对手，又道：“你们违抗朝廷命令，那便是造反。”晦聪道：“违抗朝廷的命令，少林寺是不敢的。不过这一位是云南平西王麾下的武官，平西王权力再大，也管不到河南省来。”晦聪为人本来精明，只是一谈到禅理，就不由得将世事全然置之度外，除此之外，却是畅晓世务，与澄观的一窍不通全然不同。昌齐喇嘛笑道：“这位小高僧都答应了，方丈大师却又何必借词阻拦？难道这位美女不是在晦明禅师房中，却是在……是在……嘻嘻……在方丈大师的禅房之中么？”
‘Just a moment!’ said Father Wisdom. ‘Do you have a warrant to search?’ 7 give the order,’ said Galdan. 7 give warrant. I do not need warrant.’ There I am afraid Your Highness is mistaken,’ said Father Wisdom. ‘In Mongolia you can give all the orders you like, but you have no right to do so here.’ Galdan pointed to Brigadier Ma. ‘He is Chinese officer, commission of Chinese Court. He gives the order to search. You disobey us? That is rebellion.’ The Shaolin Monastery will not defy the Chinese Court,’ said Father Wisdom. ‘But the Brigadier is on the Satrap of Yunnan’s staff. The Satrap’s jurisdiction does not, as far as I am aware, extend to the province of Henan.’ The little Father has already agreed that we should look in his cell,’ said Sangge with a crafty smile. Why are you so unwilling that we should search the monastery? She couldn’t by any chance be hidden in your cell, I suppose?’
晦聪道：“阿弥陀佛，罪过，罪过，大师何出此言？”葛尔丹身后忽有一人娇声说道：“殿下，我妹子明明是给这小和尚捉去的，快叫他们交出人来，否则我们决不能罢休，一把火将少林寺烧了。”
Father Wisdom was deeply shocked. ‘Amida Buddha! I trust Your Reverence is only joking?’ Suddenly a bearded figure spoke out from among the crowd of men standing at the back. ‘With my own eyes I saw my sister being carried off by this little monk, Your Highness. Please do carry out this search. If she’s not found here, we should burn down the monastery.’
这几句话全是女子声音，但说话之人却是个男人，脸色焦黄，满腮浓髯。韦小宝一听，即知此人便是那蓝衫女郎所乔装改扮，不过脸上涂了黄蜡，粘了假须，不禁大喜：“这几日我正在发愁，老婆的门派不知道，姓名不知道，她背夫私逃，却上哪里找去？现今知道她们跟这蒙古王子是一伙，很好，很好，那便走不脱了。”晦聪也认了出来，说道：“原来这位便是那日来到敝寺伤人的姑娘，另有一位姑娘，确曾在敝寺疗伤，不是随着姑娘一起去了吗？”那女郎怒道：“后来我师妹又给这小和尚捉进你庙里来了，这个老和尚便是帮手，是他将我师妹打倒的。”说着指着澄观。韦小宝大惊，心道：“啊哟！不好。澄观老和尚不会撒谎，这件事可要穿了，那便如何是好？”一时啰徨无计。那女郎手指澄观，大声道：“老和尚，你说，你说，有没这回事？”
It was a high female voice. Behind the layer of yellow grease and the copious whiskers Trinket had no difficulty in recognizing his old enemy the Blue Girl. Father Wisdom also recognized her. ‘Are you not the young woman who came to this monastery and injured several of our Brothers? There was another young woman with you whom we allowed to stay here until she had recovered from a self-inflicted wound. Is she not with you now?’ To Trinket it now seemed evident that the game was up. ‘Confess!’ said the Blue Girl, addressing herself to Brother Simple in a strident voice. ‘What I am saying is true, isn’t it?’
澄观合十道：“令师妹女施主到了何处，还请赐告。我师叔中了她所下的剧毒，只有她本人才有解药。女施主大慈大悲，请你赶快去求求令师妹，赐予解药。虽然晦明师叔智慧深湛，勘破生死，对这事漫不在乎，所谓生死即涅槃，涅槃即生死，不过……唉……”他颠三倒四的说了一大串，旁人虽然不能尽晓，但也都知道那女郎不在寺中，而且韦小宝被她下了毒，正要找她拿解药解毒，否则性命难保。众人见他形貌质朴，这番话说得极是诚恳，谁都相信不是假话，只想：“就算寺中当真窝藏妇女，而住持又让人搜查，少林寺百房千舍，一时三刻却哪里搜得出来？当真要搜，多半徒然自讨没趣。”
‘Young lady, I beg you,’ the old monk said earnestly, ‘do please tell us where she is. She has poisoned Father Treasure and only she can cure him. Be merciful. Entreat her to come here and save him. Father Treasure knows that life on this earth is an illusion, but we should like to keep him with us a little longer. Please, please—’ No one had the faintest idea what he was talking about, but at least it was clear from what he said that the girl they were supposed to be looking for could not be in the monastery.
那女郎却尖声道：“我师妹明明是给你们掳进寺去的，只怕已给你们害死了。你们这些恶和尚伤天害理，毁尸灭迹，自然搜不到了。”说到后来，又气又急，声音中已带呜咽。葛尔丹点头道：“此话甚是。这个……这个小和尚不是好人。”那女郎指着韦小宝骂道：“你这坏人，那天……那天在妓院里和那许多坏女人鬼混，又见到我师妹生得美貌，心里便转歹主意，一定是我师妹不肯……不肯从你，你就将她杀了。你妓院都去，还有什么坏事做不出来？”晦聪一听，微微一笑，心想哪有此事。澄观更不知妓院是什么东西，还道是类似少林寺戒律院、达摩院、菩提院的所在，心道：“小师叔勇猛精进，勤行善法，这是六波罗蜜中的‘精进波罗蜜’，在妓院中修行，那也很好啊！”韦小宝心中却是大急，生怕她一五一十，将自己的胡闹都抖了出来。
‘I know you kidnapped her,’ said the Blue Girl. ‘Probably you’ve killed her and disposed of the body. We shall never find her.’ And she began to weep. ‘You are right,’ said Prince Galdan. ‘It is certain. The little Father is very, very bad.’ ‘You’re evil,’ cried the Blue Girl, pointing her finger at Trinket. ‘You saw my sister when you were in the brothel with those bad women. You must have taken a fancy to her then and afterwards killed her because she wouldn’t submit to you. A monk who goes to brothels—there’s no wickedness you wouldn’t be capable of!’ Father Wisdom smiled incredulously and shook his head. But Trinket was growing really worried. It would not be long now before all his guilty secrets came to light.
忽然马总兵身后走出一人，抱拳说道：“姑娘，小人知道这位小禅师戒律精严，绝无涉足妓院之事，只怕是传闻所误。”韦小宝一见之下，登时大喜，原来此人便是在北京会过面的杨溢之。他当日卫护吴应熊前往北京，想来吴应熊已回云南，这一趟随着马总兵来到河南，他一直低下了头，站在旁人身后，是以没认他出来。那女郎怒道：“你又怎知道？难道你认得他吗？”杨溢之神态恭敬，说道：“小人认得这位小禅师，我们世子也认得他。这位小禅师于我王府有极大恩惠，他出家之前，本是皇宫中的一位公公。因此去妓院什么的，又是什么强逼令师妹，决非事实，请姑娘明鉴。”众人一听，都“哦”的一声，均想：“如果他本是太监，自然不会去嫖妓，更不会强抢女子，藏入寺中。”
Providentially it was just at that moment that one of the group of officers standing behind Brigadier Ma’s chair put in a good word for him. ‘Excuse me, Miss, but I’m sure this young Father wouldn’t do anything wrong like going to brothels and that. It looks as if someone has been misleading you.’ Trinket looked at the speaker and wondered why he had not noticed him before. It was Yang Yizhi, who had come to Peking with the Little Traitor and whom he had befriended at the party given by Prince Rang. ‘How do you know?’ the Blue Girl said scornfully. ‘You’re not going to tell me that you’ve met him before?’ ‘With respect, Miss, I have,’ said Yang Yizhi. ‘He did me a very great kindness once at Prince Kang’s place in Peking. Before he entered holy orders, he used to be a eunuch in the Palace. That’s why I can’t believe he has been visiting brothels or doing any of those other things you accuse him of.’ There was a clearly audible ‘Ah!’ from the assembled company.
那女郎见了众人神色，知道大家已不信自己的话，更是恼怒，尖声道：“你怎么知道他是太监？他如是太监，怎会说要娶……娶我师妹做……做老婆？不但小和尚风言风语，这老和尚也是油嘴滑舌，爱讨人便宜。”说着手指澄观。众人见澄观年逾八旬，一副呆头呆脑的模样，适才听他说话结结巴巴，辞不达意，普天下要找一个比他更不油嘴滑舌之人，只怕十分为难。这一来，对那女郎的话更加不信了，都觉今日贸然听了她异想天开的一面之辞，来到少林寺出丑，颇为后悔。
The Blue Girl could see that none of those present any longer believed her. Anger made her voice shrill. ‘How do you know he is a eunuch? He said he wanted to make my sister his wife. He is a liar and a seducer. And this old monk is no better.’ The eyes of those present turned to Brother Simple, more than eighty years old, with a vague, slightly half-witted expression on his face, and they remembered the all but incoherent statement he had made a little earlier. Clearly the young woman was deranged. They began to regret that they had ever listened to her wild story or agreed to come to this monastery, only to make fools of themselves.
杨溢之道：“姑娘，你不知这位小禅师出家之前，大大有名，乃是手诛大奸臣鳌拜的桂公公。我们王爷受奸人诬陷，险遭不白之冤，全仗这位小禅师在皇上面前一力分辩，大恩大德，至今未报。”众人都曾听过杀鳌拜的小桂子之名，知他是康熙所宠幸的一个小太监，不由得“哦”了一声，脸上显露惊佩之色。韦小宝笑道：“杨兄，多时不见，你们世子好？从前的一些小事，你老是挂在嘴上干什么？”
‘Before he became a monk, this young Father was quite famous,’ said Yang Yizhi. ‘He is the Laurie Goong-goong who executed the traitor Oboi. When my master was slandered by bad men in Peking, it was thanks to this young Father here speaking up for him to the Emperor that his good name was cleared. My master still feels very much indebted to him.’ Everyone present had heard of the famous Laurie. There was another ‘Ah!’, and expressions of admiration were appearing on every face. ‘How are you, Yang my friend?’ Trinket asked Yang Yizhi. ‘And how is His Grace? You really shouldn’t have said all that stuff about me. It was nothing.’
杨溢之跟随着马总兵上少室山来，除了平西王手下诸人之外，葛尔丹和昌齐喇嘛那伙人都不知他姓名，听得韦小宝称他为“杨兄”，两人自是素识无疑。只听杨溢之道：“禅师慈悲为怀，与人为善，说道小事一件，我们王爷却是感激无已。虽然皇上圣明，是非黑白，最后终能辨明，可是若非禅师及早代为言明真相，这中间的波折，可也难说得很了。”韦小宝笑道：“好说，好说。你们王爷太也客气了。”心下却想：“我恨不得扳倒了你们这个汉奸王爷，只是皇上圣明，自己查知了真相，我这个顺水人情就想不做也不可得。总算当日结下了善缘，今天居然是这人来给我解围。”葛尔丹上上下下的向他打量，说道：“原来你就是杀死鳌拜的小太监。我在蒙古，也曾听到过你的名头。鳌拜号称满洲第一勇士，那么你的武功，并不是在少林寺中学的了。”韦小宝笑道：“我的武功差劲之极，说来不值一笑。教过我武功的人倒是不少，这位杨大哥，就曾教过我一招‘横扫千军’，一招‘高山流水’。”说着站起身来，将这两招随手比划。他没使半分内劲，旁人瞧不出高下，但招式确是“沐家拳”无疑。杨溢之道：“全仗禅师将这两招演给皇上看了，才辨明我们王爷为仇家诬陷的冤屈。”那女郎脸色已不如先前气恼，道：“杨大哥，这小……这人当真本来是太监？当真于平西王府有恩？”杨溢之道：“正是。此事北京知道的人甚多。”那女郎微一沉吟，问韦小宝道：“那么你跟我们姊妹……这样……这样开玩笑，是不是另有用意？”韦小宝道：“玩笑是没有开，用意当然是有的。”心道：“我的用意是要娶你妹子做老婆，不过这里人多，说不出口。”那女郎道：“什么用意？”韦小宝微微一笑，并不答复。众人均想：“他既别有用意，当然不便当众揭露。”昌齐站起身来，合十说道：“方丈大师、晦明禅师，我们来得鲁莽，得罪莫怪，这就告辞了。”
It was obvious to all present that they really knew each other. Apart from the other officers who had accompanied Brigadier Ma from Yunnan, none of them had known Yang Yizhi by name. The Blue Girl was by now looking somewhat chastened. ‘Brother Yang,’ she said (confirming Trinket’s growing suspicion that she and the Green Girl were in some way connected with the Satrap), ‘is this . . . this person really a eunuch? Did he really speak up for the Satrap?’ ‘He did indeed, Miss,’ said Yang Yizhi. ‘And there are many people in Peking who would tell you the same thing.’ The Grand Lama rose to his feet. The Blue Girl’s charge was now quite discredited. It seemed there was nothing more to be said. ‘Father Wisdom,’ he said, pressing his palms together and inclining his head to the Abbot, ‘I trust you will forgive us for what has turned out to be a somewhat unmannerly intrusion. We had better take our leave.’
晦聪合十还礼，说道：“佳客远来，请用了素斋去。不过这位女施主……”他想你乔装男人，混进寺来，不加追究，也就是了，再请你吃斋，未免不合寺规。昌齐笑道：“多谢，多谢！免得方丈师兄为难，这餐斋饭，大家都不吃了罢。”当下众人告辞出来，方丈和韦小宝、澄观等送到山门口。
‘Won’t you just stay for a simple meal with us?’ said Father Wisdom. The, er, young lady—’ He wasn’t going to invite a young female who had smuggled herself into the monastery in disguise to sit with them at table. Sangge laughed. Thank you all the same, but I think we will forego that pleasure. We don’t want to embarrass you.’ The rest of the visitors followed him in making their farewells, and Father Wisdom, Brother Simple, and Trinket escorted them to the main gate of the monastery.
忽听得马蹄声响，十余骑急驰而来。驰到近处，见马上乘客穿的都是御前侍卫服色，共是一十六人。没到寺前，十六人便都翻身下马，列队走近，当先二人正是张康年和赵齐贤。张康年一见韦小宝，大声说道：“都……都……大人，你老人家好！”他本想叫“都统大人”，但见他穿着僧袍，这一句称呼只好含糊过去。当下十六人齐向他拜了下去。韦小宝大喜，说道：“各位请起，不必多礼。我天天在等你们。”
Just as they arrived at the gate, there was a sound of galloping hooves, and presently a party of sixteen Palace Guards dismounted twenty yards from where they stood and, arranging themselves in formation, advanced towards them on foot. The two officers leading them were Trinket’s friends Zhang and Zhao. As the senior officer among them, Zhang greeted Trinket by name, a trifle confusedly because he was not quite sure whether to call him ‘Colonel’ or ‘Father’. All sixteen guards saluted him Manchu style, dropping on one knee and touching the ground with the knuckles of their right hands. ‘Please get up, everybody!’ said Trinket, delightedly. ‘You can’t imagine how glad I am to see you.’
葛尔丹等见这十六人都是品级不低的御前侍卫，对韦小宝却如此恭敬，均想：“这小和尚果然有些来历。”清制总兵是正二品官，一等侍卫是正三品，二等侍卫正四品。张康年等官阶虽较总兵为低，但他们是皇帝侍卫，对外省武官并不瞧在眼里，只对马总兵微一点头招呼，便向韦小宝大献殷勤。葛尔丹见这些御前侍卫着力奉承韦小宝，对旁人视若无睹，心中有气，哼了一声，道：“走罢，我可看不惯这等样子。”一行人向晦聪方丈一拱手，下山而去。韦小宝邀众侍卫入寺。张康年和他并肩而行，低声道：“皇上有密旨。”韦小宝点了点头。
Galdan knew that the Palace Guards ranked higher than most civilian officials, so Trinket must evidently be a very important person. All the same, the fuss they were making of this young monk, while according only the curtest of nods to the Brigadier, so disgusted him that he was in a hurry to get away. Turning only to clasp hands in a brief gesture of farewell to the Abbot, he and his company set off at once on a rapid descent of the mountain. Inviting the guards to accompany him into the monastery, Trinket walked in at the head of them with Zhang Kangnian at his side. ‘I’ve got a Secret Edict for you,’ said Zhang, speaking in a low voice so that the others couldn’t hear. Trinket nodded.
A Secret Edict
到得大雄宝殿，张康年取出圣旨宣读，却只是几句官样文章，皇帝赐了五千两银子给少林寺，修建僧舍，重修佛像金身，又册封韦小宝为“辅国奉圣禅师”。晦聪和韦小宝叩头拜谢。张康年道：“皇上吩咐，要辅国奉圣禅师克日启程，前往五台山。”这事早在韦小宝意料之中，躬身应道：“奴才遵旨。”
There was, of course, a more formal Edict which Zhang read out when they were all assembled in the monastery’s main hall. The Emperor was donating five thousand silver taels to be spent on refurbishing the monks’ dormitories and re-gilding the image of the Buddha. There was also a fancy religious title which he was bestowing on Trinket in recognition of his spiritual services to the Empire. Trinket and Father Wisdom both kowtowed. Then followed what, for Trinket, was the most important part of the Edict. He was to leave the monastery not later than noon next day and proceed to the Wutai Mountains. He bowed down low. This was what he had been waiting for. ‘I hear and obey.’
奉过茶后，韦小宝邀过张康年、赵齐贤二人到自己禅房中叙话。张康年从怀中取出一道密旨，双手奉上，说道：“皇上另有旨意。”韦小宝跪下磕头，双手接过，见是火漆印密封了的，寻思：“不知皇上有什么吩咐。圣旨上写的字，他认得我，我不认得他。既是密旨，可不能让张赵他们得知，还是去请教方丈师兄为是。他决不能泄漏了机密。”于是拿了密旨，来到晦聪的禅房，说道：“方丈师兄，皇上有一道密旨给我，要请你指点。”拆开密旨封套，见里面折着一大张宣纸，摊着开来，画着四幅图画。
After they had taken tea, Trinket invited Zhang and Zhao to his cell, where they could be more private. As soon as they were inside, Zhang took out the Secret Edict and Trinket kowtowed and received it in both hands. It was fastened together with seals of sealing-wax. ‘Fat lot of good this is, when I can’t read,’ he thought. He couldn’t get Zhang to read a Secret Edict; but then it occurred to him that Father Wisdom could be trusted to keep a secret, so he excused himself and went off to see the Abbot. Father Wisdom expressed his willingness to explain the contents, but when the seals were broken, it appeared that his help wouldn’t be needed after all. The Secret Edict turned out to be a large folded-up sheet of drawing paper divided into four sections, in each of which was a picture.
第一幅画着五座山峰，韦小宝认得便是五台山。在南台顶之北画着一座庙宇，写着“清凉寺”三字。他曾在清凉寺多日，这三个字倒有点面熟，写在别处，他是决计不识的，写在庙上，便算是遇上熟人了。
The first one showed a mountain range with five peaks, which Trinket could see was meant to be Wutai. On the north side of the southernmost peak there was a little building, above which were written the characters for ‘Pure Coolness Monastery’. Because he had stayed in the monastery and seen the characters many times before, they had a familiar look. Seeing them in this context, he could easily guess what they were.
第二幅是一个小和尚走进一座庙宇，庙额上写的也是“清凉寺”三字。小和尚身后跟着一群僧侣，众僧头顶写着“少林寺和尚”五字。前面三字，韦小宝倒也识得，“和尚”两字虽然不识，却也猜得到。
The second showed a little monk entering the gate of a monastery over which were written the same characters: ‘Pure Coolness Monastery’. A small procession of bigger monks were following him. Over them were written the words ‘Monks from Shaolin Monastery’. Trinket could read the characters for ‘Shaolin’. The other ones he could guess.
第三幅画的是大雄宝殿，一个小和尚居中而坐，嬉皮笑脸，面目宛然便是韦小宝，但身披大红袈裟，穿了方丈法衣，旁边有许多僧人侍立。韦小宝瞧着画中的小和尚和自己实在相像，越看越觉有趣，不觉笑了出来。
The third picture was of a big hall in which a grinning little monk sat in the middle wearing the cope and crown of an abbot, with larger monks standing on either side of him. Trinket burst out laughing when he identified the little abbot as himself. It was some time before he could take his eyes off this picture and go on to the next.
第四幅画中这小和尚跪在地下，侍奉一个中年僧人。这僧人相貌清癯，正是出家后法名行痴的顺治皇帝。
In the fourth picture the little Abbot was kneeling down in front of a monk of middle years. From the thinness of his face Trinket guessed that this was Brother Wayward, as the Old Emperor Shun Zhi was called when he entered holy orders.
除了四幅图画外，密旨中更无其他文字。原来康熙雅擅丹青，知道韦小宝识字有限，便画图下旨。这四幅图画说得再也明白不过，是要他到清凉寺去做住持，侍奉老皇帝。韦小宝先觉有趣，随即喜悦之情消减，暗暗叫苦：“做做小和尚也还罢了，又要去做老和尚，那可糟糕之至了。”晦聪微笑道：“恭喜师弟，皇上派你去住持清凉寺。清凉寺乃庄严古刹，建于北魏孝文帝时，比少林寺尤早。师弟出主大寺，必可宏宣佛法，普渡众生，昌大我教。”韦小宝摇头苦笑，说道：“这住持我是做不来的，一定搞得笑话百出，一塌胡涂。”晦聪道：“圣旨中画明要师弟带领一群本寺僧侣，随同前往。师弟可自行挑选。大家既是你相熟的晚辈，自当尽心辅佐，决无疏虞，师弟大可放心。”
Apart from these pictures there was nothing else in the Edict. Kang Xi knew that Trinket could not read and had used his considerable skill as a draftsman to convey his message. ‘Congratulations!’ said Father Wisdom. The Pure Coolness Monastery is an even older foundation than the Shaolin and very greatly respected. You will be able to do great things there for the Truth.’ ‘How can I possibly be an Abbot!’ said Trinket ruefully. ‘I’ll be sure to make a mess of things.’ ‘Don’t forget that according to these drawings you are to take some of the monks from here with you,’ said Father Wisdom. ‘If you pick Brothers you know and can trust, they will surely do their best to help you and see that you don’t make mistakes.’
韦小宝呆了半晌，这才恍然大悟，原来小皇帝思虑周详，当时派自己来少林寺出家，早就安排下了今日之事。让自己在少林寺住了半年有余，得与群僧相熟，以便挑选合意僧侣，同赴清凉寺。老皇帝既已出家，决不愿由侍卫官兵保卫，说不定竟然来个不别而行，从此再也找不到他。少林僧武功卓绝，由自己率领了保护皇帝，比之侍卫官兵是稳妥得多了。何况此事乃天大机密，皇帝倘若派遣侍卫官兵，去保卫五台山的一个和尚，必定沸沸扬扬，传得举世皆知。众侍卫中也必有识得老皇帝的。由一个少林僧入主清凉寺，却十分寻常，以前清凉寺的住持澄光，本就是少林寺的十八罗汉之一。又想：“倘若小皇帝起初就命我去清凉寺出家，仍然太过引人注目，到少林寺来转得一转，就不会有人疑心了。”想到此处，对康熙的布置不由得大是钦服。
After a moment or two of reflection Trinket began to appreciate what a lot of thought Kang Xi had given to his plan. He couldn’t have sent soldiers to guard his father because, apart from the fact that his father would in any case refuse to have them, their presence would attract too much attention. There might even be some of them who recognized him as the ex-Emperor. And he couldn’t have sent Trinket there from the Palace because that, too, would have been likely to excite suspicion. But the present Abbot of Pure Coolness Monastery, Father Aureole, was a former Shaolin monk, and what could be more natural than that he should be replaced by a monk from the same monastery? Moreover, this stay at the Shaolin Monastery had given Trinket time to get to know which monks would be most congenial to take with him and best able to help him guard the Old Emperor. The Young Emperor had thought of everything.
当下回去禅房，取出六千两银票，命张康年等分赏给众侍卫。张赵二人没想到韦小宝做了和尚，还是这等慷慨，喜出望外，赞道：“自古以来，大和尚赏银子给皇帝侍卫的，只有你韦大人一位，当真是空前绝后，前无古人，后无来者。”韦小宝笑道：“前无古僧，后无来僧。”
Trinket hurried back to his cell, where Zhang and Zhao were still waiting. He took out six thousand taels’ worth of banknotes from his monk’s chest to divide between them. This was a surprise. They had not expected the fabulous generosity of his Palace days to survive his transplantation to a religious environment. Was something expected of them? They still did not know why Kang Xi had sent him to the Shaolin Monastery to be a monk and, in view of Kang Xi’s known interest in the Martial Arts, wondered if it had something to do with the monastery’s incomparable collection of texts relating to this subject. Perhaps Kang Xi coveted them and had planted Trinket there to ‘acquire’ them for him.
张康年低声道：“韦大人，皇上派你办什么大事，我们不敢多问。你有什么差遣，尽管吩咐好了。给你办事就是给皇上办事，大伙儿一样的奋勇争先。”赵齐贤道：“倘若韦大人要办什么事，一时不得其便，我们或许可以稍尽微力。比方……比方说，韦大人如果要取少林寺中的武功秘本，我们就来放火烧寺，一场大乱，韦大人就可乘机下手。”张康年吃吃而笑，悄声道：“是啊，这叫做乘火打劫，浑水摸鱼。”韦小宝一怔，随即明白：“是了，他们一定在猜想皇上派我来少林寺做和尚，到底有什么用意，这次交来的密旨之中，又说了些什么。他们知道皇上好武，派我来少林寺出家，自然是盗取武功秘本了。”笑了一笑，也低声道：“两位放心！这个……我已经得手啦。”张赵二人大喜，一齐躬身请安，道：“皇上洪福齐天，韦大人精明干练，恭喜你立此大功。”赵齐贤道：“要不要让我们给你带出去？庙里和尚若有疑心，韦大人尽可解衣给他们搜查。”韦小宝笑道：“那倒不用。你们去回奏皇上，就说奴才韦小宝谨奉圣旨，已将图画牢牢记住，用心办事，请皇上放心。”两人应道：“是。”赵齐贤想了片刻，已明白其中道理，道：“原来这些武功秘诀都是图谱，韦大人看熟后已牢牢记住。”张康年也即省悟，赞道：“那是更加好了，倘若将秘本盗了出去，庙里和尚自然会知道，终究……终究不如那个最好，看过后记住，却是神不知鬼不觉。那也全仗韦大人天生的绝顶聪明，像我这等蠢才，就说什么记不住。”韦小宝见二人又误会他所说的图画是少林寺武功图谱，暗暗好笑，说道：“张兄不必太谦，在寺里慢慢的看，一天两天不成，几个月下来，终于记住了。”两人齐声称是，心想你在寺中半年有余，少林派武学的图谱一定记了不少。
‘If you’ve got something big in mind,’ said Zhang, ‘you can count on us to help you. For example, if you want to get hold of their books, we could start a fire and get them away for you while we were “rescuing” them. You’ve only got to say the word.’ ‘No, that’s all right,’ said Trinket, somewhat alarmed by this offer. ‘But there is something else I’d like you to do for me.’ ‘Anything. It’ll be a pleasure.’
两人告辞出去。韦小宝想起一事，问道：“刚才在山门外遇见一批人，你们可知是什么来历？”张赵二人道：“不知。”韦小宝道：“你们快去查查。这群人来到少林寺，鬼鬼祟祟，看样子也是想偷盗寺里的武功秘本。尤其是那个总兵，不知是谁的部下，他身为朝廷命官，竟胆敢想坏皇上的大事，委实大逆不道，存心造反。你们查到是何人主使，倒是一件大大的功劳。”二人喜道：“这个容易，他们下山不久，一定追得上。那总兵有名有姓，一查便知。”韦小宝明知那马总兵是吴三桂部下，却故意诬陷，假作不知他来历，让一众御前侍卫查知，禀告皇上邀功，远胜于自己去诬告。韦小宝又道：“跟这伙人在一起的，有个女扮男装的少女，她们正在找寻另一个约莫十六七岁的美貌姑娘。这两个女子，跟这件逆谋大事牵涉极多。你们去设法详细查明，两个女子叫什么名字，什么出身来历。查明之后，送封信来。”这番话自然是假公济私了。他差皇帝的侍卫去追查自己的心上人，他们贪图赏金，定然落力办事。御前侍卫要查什么案子，普天下官府都奉命差遣，如此雷厉风行的追查，岂有找不到线索之理？张赵二人拍胸担保，定当查个水落石出，以报韦大人提拔之恩、知遇之恩、眷顾之情、重赏之惠。
Those men who left as you arrived—they’re up to no good. Treason, probably. Keep an eye on them, will you, and find out what they’re up to?’ ‘Easy. They can’t have got very far.’ ‘Oh, and one other thing,’ said Trinket, trying his hardest to sound nonchalant. There’s a young woman dressed up as a man with them and she says she’s looking for a friend, a girl of sixteen or so. Find out both of their names, will you, and anything else you can about them?’ ‘We will. You can count on it.’ They took their leave in haste, wanting to go about their business straight away. Sniffing out rebellion meant rapid promotion and generous rewards. The sixteen guards were soon galloping on their way.
