The Deer And The Cauldron 48

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The Deer And The Cauldron 48
第四十八回 都护玉门关不设 将军铜柱界重标

注:“都护”是汉朝统治西域诸国的军政总督,“玉门关”是汉时通西域的要道,“玉门关不设”意谓疆域扩大,原来的关门已不成为边防要地。“铜柱界重标”指东汉马援征服交趾(安南)后,开拓疆土,立铜柱重行标界,意谓另定有利于中国的国界。

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当晚韦小宝和双儿在总督府的卧房中就寝,炉火生得甚旺,狐被貂褥,一室皆春。这是他的旧游之地,掀开床边大木箱的盖子一看,箱中放的却是军服和枪械。双儿微笑道:“相公盼望箱子里又钻出个罗刹公主来,是不是?”韦小宝笑道:“你是中国公主,比罗刹公主好得多。”双儿笑道:“可惜你的中国公主在北京,不在这里。”韦小宝道:“好双儿,咱们今日算不算‘大功告成’?”双儿嫣然一笑,双颊晕红。她虽和韦小宝做夫妻已久,听得丈夫调笑,却仍有羞涩之意。
Trinket and Doublet spent that night in the master’bedroom of the residence-the room in which, in Governor Golitsyn’s time, Trinket had made his first entry into the fort. It had been made warm and cosy for them by the orderlies, with a brightly burning stove and fur rugs on the floor and a pile of well’warmed, fur’lined blankets on the bed. Trinket tried the lid of the great chest. It opened easily, and though the clothes and furs inside may have been different ones, it all seemed pretty much as it had been two or three years before. ‘Looking for a Russian princess, Master?’ said Doublet teasingly. (She still called him ‘Master’.) ‘You’re my Chinese princess’ said Trinket, closing the lid. ‘What would I want with a Russian one?’ ‘Your Chinese princess is in Peking’ said Doublet. Trinket ignored this. ‘This victory definitely deserves a little “celebration”, don’t you think?’ he asked her. This was the intimate code he always used with her; and she blushed, as she always did on these occasions-though it was quite some time now since she first shared his bed.

韦小宝搂住了她腰,两人并坐床沿。韦小宝道:“你拼凑地图,花了不少心血,咱们终于拿到了鹿鼎山,皇上封我为鹿鼎公,这座城池,多半是让我管了。这山底下藏得有无数金珠宝贝,咱们慢慢掘了出来,我韦小宝可得改名,叫做‘韦多宝’。”双儿道:“相公已有了许多金子银子,几辈子也使不完啦,珠宝再多,也是无用。我瞧还是做韦小宝的好。”韦小宝在她脸上轻轻一吻,说道:“对,对!这些日来,我一直拿不定主意,要是掘宝罢,只怕挖断了满洲龙脉,害死了皇帝。皇上向来待我不错,害死了他,未免对不住他。不掘宝罢,又觉得可惜。这么着,咱们暂且不掘这宝藏,等到皇上御驾升天,咱们又穷得要饿饭了,那时候再掘不迟。”刚说到这里,忽听得木箱中轻轻喀的一响。两人使个眼色,注视木箱,过了好一会,却更无动静。韦小宝双掌轻轻拍了三下,双儿过去开了房门,守在门外的四名亲兵躬身听令。韦小宝指着木箱,低声道:“里面有人!”四名亲兵吃了一惊,抢到箱边,揭开箱盖,却见箱中盛满了衣物。韦小宝打个手势,亲兵搬开衣物,揭开箱底,露出一个大洞,便在此时,砰的一声巨响,洞中放了一枪出来。一名亲兵“啊”的一声,肩头中弹,向后便倒。双儿忙将韦小宝一拉,扯到了自己身后。韦小宝指指炭炉,作个倾倒的手势。一名亲兵过去端起炭炉,便往洞中倒了下去。只听得洞中有人以罗刹话大叫:“别倒火,投降!”跟着咳嗽不止。
The two of them sat shoulder to shoulder on the edge of the bed, talking about this and that. Suddenly they thought they could hear a faint cough. They stopped talking and looked towards the chest. They waited for some time in silence, but there was no further sound. Doublet stole quietly towards the door and opened it. Four startled bodyguards saw her point towards the chest and whisper’ There’s someone inside there.’ They went inside the room and quietly opened the lid. Trinket gestured to them to remove the contents; then, as they leaned in, peering through the hole in the bottom, there was a loud bang and one of the men fell backwards with a bullet through his shoulder. As well as the large stove which heated the room, there was a small Charcoal-burning brazier for warming things up on or boiling water for tea. Trinket gestured to the bodyguards to empty the burning coals down the hole in the bottom of the chest. This dangerous feat was executed by the most adventurous of the three. There were cries from below and a voice in Russian shouted’ ‘No, no, don’t do that! We surrender!’

韦小宝以罗刹话叫道:“先把火枪抛上来,再爬出来。”洞中抛出一杆短铳,跟着一名罗刹兵探头出来。一名亲兵抓住他头发一拉,另一名亲兵伸刀架在他颈中,那兵胡子着了火,兀自未熄,只痛得哇哇大叫,狼狈异常的爬了出来。韦小宝道:“下面还有人没有?”洞内有人叫道:“还有一个!投降!投降!”韦小宝喝道:“抛枪上来!”洞口白光一闪,抛上来一柄马刀,跟着一团火烧了出来,原来这名罗刹兵烧着了头发。在门外守卫的亲兵听得大帅房中有警,又奔进数人。七八名亲兵揪住了两名罗刹兵,扑灭了两人头发胡子上的火焰,反绑了缚住。韦小宝突然指着一名罗刹兵叫道:“咦,你是王八死鸡。”那兵脸露喜色,道:“是,是,中国小孩大人,我是华伯斯基。”另一名罗刹兵也叫了起来:“中国小孩大人,我……我是齐洛诺夫。”韦小宝向他凝视半晌,见他胡子烧得七零八落,脸上也熨得又红又肿,但终于认了出来,笑道:“对啦!你是猪猡懦夫!”齐洛诺夫大喜,叫道:“对,对!中国小孩大人,我是你的老朋友。”
‘Throw out your weapon first!’ Trinket shouted back in Russian. A pistol came flying upwards, and presently the blackened face appeared of a Russian soldier. His beard was still on fire, and he climbed, coughing and spluttering, from the chest, followed by another soldier in the same sorry state, except that his hair and not his beard was burning. By this time more guards had come running into the room. They extinguished the Russians’ burning hair and whiskers-none too gently-and trussed them up with their arms behind their backs. Trinket looked from one to the other smut’covered face with a puzzled expression. Suddenly he gave a start of recognition. ‘I know you’ he said to one of them. ‘You’re Wobbleski, aren’t you?’ ‘Yes, yes, Excellency Chinese Boy’ the man said, breaking into an enormous smile and bowing repeatedly. ‘I am Vobolsky.’ Trinket turned to the other Russian. ‘And you must be Chillingoff.’ The other man, too, started bowing. ‘Yes, Excellency Chinese Boy. Your old friend Chironov.’

华伯斯基和齐洛诺夫都是苏菲亚公主的卫士。当年在雅克萨城和韦小宝同去莫斯科。两人在猎宫随同火枪手造反,着实立了些功劳。苏菲亚公主掌执国政后,酬庸从龙之士,将身边卫士都升了队长。其中四人东来想立功劫掠。当兵败城破之时,一人战死,一人冻死。余下这两人悄悄躲入地道,想出城逃走,哪知城外地道出口早已堵死,两人进退不得,终于形迹败露。当年韦小宝分别叫他们为“王八死鸡”和“猪猡懦夫”。两人哪知其意,只道中国小孩发音不正,便即答应。听公主叫他为“中国小孩”,初时也跟着一般称呼,待得韦小宝立功,公主封了他爵位,众卫士便称之为“中国小孩大人”。韦小宝问明来历,命亲兵松绑,带出去取酒食款待。众亲兵生怕地道中尚有奸细,钻进去搜索了一番,查知房中此外更无地道复壁,这才退出。亲兵队长心下惶恐,连声告罪,心想真是侥天之幸,倘若这两名罗刹兵半夜里从地道中钻将出来,刺死了韦大帅,自己非满门抄斩不可。
Trinket had got to know them last time he was in Russia. They were the two musketeers who had distinguished themselves during the disorder which had preceded Princess Sophia’s release from the Imperial Hunting Lodge, and after she became Regent she had rewarded each of them with a captaincy. Later they had volunteered for service in the East, where prospects for anyone wanting to make a fortune were said to be good. After Tolbusin’s death, when the rest of the garrison were talking about surrender, they had broken into the empty residence and climbed into the tunnel, which they had heard much about and located without much difficulty, intending to get out of the fort by this means and so escape capture by the Chinese. Unfortunately they had found the exit blocked, and when they crawled back again to get out by the way they had entered, the room overhead was already occupied. Trinket told the guards to untie the men. Let them be taken away and given something to eat, he said. They should be treated decently. It was too late to interrogate them now, but he would want to see them again in the morning, after a good night’s sleep.

次日韦小宝叫来华伯斯基和齐洛诺夫二人,问起苏菲亚公主的近况。二人说公主殿下总理朝政,罗刹全国的王公大臣、将军主教,谁也不敢违抗。两位沙皇年纪幼小,一切也都听姊姊的。齐洛诺夫道:“公主殿下很想念中国小孩大人,吩咐我们来打听你的消息,要我们见到你后,请你再去莫斯科玩玩,公主重重有赏。”华伯斯基道:“公主殿下不知道是中国小孩大人带兵来打仗,否则的话,大家是亲爱的甜心,是好朋友,这仗也不用打了。”韦小宝道:“你们胡说八道,骗人!”两人赌咒发誓,说道千真万确,决计不假。韦小宝寻思:“皇上本是要我设法跟罗刹国讲和,不妨便叫这两个家伙去跟苏菲亚公主说说。”说道:“我要写一封信,你们送去给公主,不过我不会写罗刹蚯蚓字,你们代我写罢。”华伯斯基和齐洛诺夫面面相觑,均有难色,他二人只会骑马放枪,说到提笔写字,却也是一窍不通。齐洛诺夫道:“中国小孩大人要写情书,我们两个是干不来的。我们……我们去找个教士来写。”韦小宝答应了,命亲兵带二人去罗刹降人中找寻。过不多时,两人带来一名大胡子教士到来。其时罗刹军人大都不识字,随军教士除了祈祷上帝、激励士气之外,还有一门重要职司,便是替兵将代写家书。那教士穿了清兵装束,衣服太小,紧紧绷在身上,显得十分可笑。
Next day Trinket had Vobolsky and Chironov summoned to his office and asked them for the latest news of Princess Sophia. The Regent Sophia controlled everything, they said. The two young Tsars did just as they were told. She was always asking about Trinket. There was no one like her Chinese Boy. She had sent them to the East specially to ask him if he would return to visit her. ‘Bloody liars!’ said Trinket. No, no. They swore it was true. ‘Well, never mind that’ said Trinket. ‘I want you to take her a letter. But one of you will have to write it for me. I can’t do your squiggly Russian writing.’ Vobolsky and Chironov looked sheepish. Like most Russian soldiers, they were illiterate. ‘We could get a priest to write one for you,’ said Chironov. ‘All right,’ said Trinket. ‘Go and find one.’ One of the principal duties of the Orthodox priests who served as chaplains in the Russian army, apart from administering the sacraments and urging the soldiers to fight, was writing the letters that the men sent to their wives and sweethearts back home. The one whom Vobolsky and Chironov brought back in tow had a large, bushy beard and was clearly very frightened.

他吓得战战兢兢,随着两名队长参见韦小宝,说道:“上帝赐福中国大将军,大爵爷,愿中国大将军一家平安。”韦小宝要他坐下,说道:“你给我写封信,给你们的苏菲亚公主。”那教士连声答应。亲兵早已在桌上摆好了文房四宝。那教士手执毛笔,铺开宣纸,弯弯曲曲的写起罗刹字来,但觉那毛笔柔软无比,笔划忽粗忽细,说不出的别扭,却不敢有半句话评论中国笔墨,只怕惹了这位中国将军生气。韦小宝道:“你这么写:自从分别之后,常常想念公主,只盼娶了公主做老婆……”那教士吓了一跳,手一颤,毛笔在纸上涂了一团墨迹。齐洛诺夫道:“这位中国小孩大人,是苏菲亚公主殿下的甜心。公主殿下很爱他的,常说中国情人胜过罗刹情人一百倍。”
‘The peace of Almighty God be upon the Chinese General and all his house,’ he said in Russian. (He knew no Chinese.) Trinket made him sit down at a table on which letter’paper, a Chinese writing’brush, and an inkstone with a little pool of freshly ground ink in it had been placed in readiness. ‘I want you to write a letter to Princess Sophia,’ he said. The priest picked up the brush, and when Trinket, in his rather fractured Russian, started dictating, began to write. He found the brush impossibly soft for writing Cyrillic letters with-they came out thick or thin in all the wrong places-but dared not complain for fear that the Chinese commander might grow angry. ‘Since we parted I have always been thinking of you and want to come and make you my wife . . .’ Trinket began. The startled priest gave a little gasp and the word he was writing turned into a blot. The Princess and His Excellency are sweethearts,’ Chironov explained. ‘She thinks a Chinese lover is a hundred times better than a Russian one.’ ‘A hundred times better,’ echoed the priest, looking a little bewildered. ‘Dear me, a hundred times better.’

他要讨好韦小宝,不免张大其词。那教士诺诺连声,道:“是,是,胜过一百倍,一百倍。”他心神不定,文思窒滞,却又不敢执笔沉吟,只得将平日用惯的陈腔滥调都写了上去,尽是罗刹士兵写给故乡妻子、情人的肉麻辞句,甚么“亲亲好甜心”、“我昨晚又梦见了你”、“吻你一万次”之类,不一而足。韦小宝见他笔走如飞,大为满意,说道:“你们罗刹兵来占我中国地方,杀了许多中国百姓。中国大皇帝十分生气,派我带兵前来,把你们的兵将都捉住了。我要将他们割成一条一条,都烧成霞舒尼克……”那教士大吃了一惊,“啊”的一声,说道:“我的上帝!”韦小宝续道:“不过瞧在你公主的面上,暂时不割不烧。如果你答应以后罗刹兵再也不来犯我中国疆界,中国和罗刹国就永远是好朋友。要是你不听话,我派兵来杀光你们的罗刹男人,你就再也没有罗刹男人陪着睡觉了。你要男人陪着睡觉,天下只有中国人了。”
But he had no difficulty in supplying, freehand, a few of the phrases habitually used in the letters he wrote for Russians to their sweethearts, since clearly a word for word transcription of Trinket’s mangled Russian would not do. ‘Your Russian soldiers have been taking land belonging to us and killing the Chinese who live here,’ Trinket went on. The Chinese Emperor is very angry. He has sent me with an army to stop them. I have captured your soldiers and I was going to cut them up for shashlik-‘ ‘My God!’ the priest exclaimed. ‘-but for your sake, I have not made shashlik of them. If you will promise never again to invade our land, Russia and China can be friends. If you don’t, I will come with an army and kill all the Russian men and then you will only have Chinese men to sleep with.’

那教士心中大不以为然,暗道:“天下除了罗刹男人,并非只有中国男人,这句话也太没有道理。”又觉这种无礼的言语决不能对公主说,决意改写几句又恭谨又亲密的话,料想这中国将军也不识得。但他为人谨细,深怕给瞧出了破绽,将这几行文字都写成了拉丁文,写毕之后,不由得脸露微笑。韦小宝又道:“现下我差王八死鸡和猪猡懦夫送这封信给你,又送给你礼物。你愿意做我情人,还是做我敌人,你自己决定罢。”那教士又将最后这句话改得极尽恭敬,写道:“中国小臣思慕殿下厚恩,谨献贡物,以表忠忱。小臣有生之年,皆殿下不二之臣也。企盼两国和好,俾罗刹被俘军民重归故国,实出殿下无量恩德。”最后这句话却是出于他的私心,料想两国倘若和议不成,自己和其余的罗刹降人势必客死异乡,永远不得归国。韦小宝待他写完,道:“完了。你念一遍给我听听。”那教士双手捧起信笺诵读,念到自己改写之处,却仍照韦小宝的原义读出。韦小宝会讲的罗刹话本就颇为有限,听来似乎大致不错,哪料得他竟敢任意窜改?便点点头,道:“很好!”
‘I don’t see how that follows,’ thought the priest, but refrained from comment. ‘I am sending Wobbleski and Chillingoff with this letter and some presents for you,’ Trinket concluded. ‘Do you want to be my sweetheart or my enemy’ It’s up to you.’ This didn’t strike the Russian priest as quite the way in which a Letter of State ought to end. What he actually wrote was a little different’ ‘. . . Ever mindful of Your Highness’ gracious kindness, I offer these tributary gifts as a humble expression of my deep affection, and remain ever Your Highness’ devoted Servant, in earnest hope of a lasting peace and the return of Russian prisoners to their beloved homeland.’ These words smuggled in at the end were, of course, an expression of his own sentiments. If peace between the two empires was not concluded, he had visions of himself dying in a foreign land. That’s all’ said Trinket. ‘Now read it through.’ Nervously the priest picked up the letter and, while pretending to read, reproduced as far as he could remember an approximation to the words that Trinket had dictated, omitting, of course, anything about prisoners at the end. Trinket’s Russian was too poor for him to be able to notice any differences, and to the priest’s intense relief, he seemed quite pleased, for he gave orders for him to be suitably rewarded.

取出“抚远大将军韦之印”的黄金印信,在信笺上盖了朱印。这封情书不像情书、公文不似公文的东西就搞成了。韦小宝命那教士下去领赏,吩咐大营的师爷将信封入封套,在封套上用中国文字写上苏菲亚公主的名字。那师爷磨得浓墨,蘸得饱笔,第一行写道:“大清国抚远大将军鹿鼎公韦奉书”,第二行写道:“鄂罗斯国摄政女王苏飞霞固伦长公主殿下”。“罗刹”两字,于佛经意为“魔鬼”,以之称呼“俄国”,颇含轻侮,文书之中便称之为“鄂罗斯”。那师爷又觉“苏菲亚”三字不甚雅驯,这个“菲”字令人想起“芳草菲菲”,似乎讥讽她全身是毛,于是写作了“苏飞霞”,既合“落霞与孤鹜齐飞”之典,又有“飞霞扑面”之美;“固伦长公主”是清朝公主最尊贵的封号,皇帝的姊妹是长公主,皇帝的女儿是公主,此女贵为摄政,又是两位并肩沙皇的姊姊,自然是头等公主了。待听得韦小宝笑道:“这个罗刹公主跟我是有一手的,几年不见,不知她怎样了?”那师爷在封套上又写上两行字:“夫和戎狄,国之福也。如乐之和,无所不谐,请与子乐之。”心想这是《左传》中的话,只可惜罗刹乃戎狄之邦,未必能懂得中华上国的经传,其中双关之意,更不必解,俏眉眼做给瞎子看,难免有“明珠暗投”之叹了。其实不但“鄂罗斯国固伦长公主苏飞霞”决计不懂这几个中国字的含义,连“大清国抚远大将军鹿鼎公韦”,除了识得自己的名字和两个“人”字之外,也是只字不识,见那师爷在封套正反面都写了字,说道:“够了,够了。你的字写得很好,胜过罗刹大胡子。”他吩咐师爷备就一批贵重礼物,好在都是从雅克萨城中俘获而得,不用花他分文本钱。再将华伯斯基、齐洛诺夫两名队长传来,叫他两人从罗刹降兵挑选一百人作为卫队,立即前往莫斯科送信。两名队长大喜过望,不住鞠躬称谢,又拿起韦小宝的手,在他手背上连连亲吻。韦小宝的手背被二人的胡子擦得酸痒,忍不住哈哈大笑。
To this curious document, neither a love-letter exactly nor yet a diplomatic Note, Trinket added the vermilion impression of the great gold Supreme Commander’s seal that Kang Xi had given him, taking great care that it was exactly square with the paper. Then he ordered one of the Chinese secretaries to make out a suitable envelope for it (which took longer than writing the letter, by the time all the right styles and titles had been ascertained and painstakingly inscribed on it in formal kaishu calligraphy) and to select a few choice items from the late Governor’s possessions to send as gifts. When all was ready, he told Vobolsky and Chironov to choose a hundred Russian soldiers as escort and go with all possible speed to Moscow to deliver his letter and presents to the Princess Sophia in the Kremlin. Again and again they bowed to him in gratitude and kissed the back of his hand, making him laugh because he was tickled by what remained of their beards.

A Loyal Servant

雅克萨城小,容不下大军驻扎,当下韦小宝和钦差及索额图商议了,派郎坦、林兴珠二人率兵二千,在城中防守,大军南旋,协驻瑗珲、呼玛尔二城候旨。韦小宝临行之际,郑重叮咛郎坦、林兴珠二人,决不可在雅克萨城开凿水井,挖掘地道。大军南行。韦小宝、索额图、朋春等驻在瑗珲,萨布素另率一军,驻在呼玛尔。韦小宝命罗刹降兵改穿清军装束,派人教授华语,命他们将“我皇万岁万万岁”、“圣天子万寿无疆”、“中国皇帝德被四海、皇恩浩荡”等句子背得烂熟,然后派兵押向北京,要他们在京师大街上一路高呼,朝见康熙时更须大声呐喊,说道越是喊得有劲,皇上赏赐越厚。匆匆数月,冬尽春来。韦小宝在瑗珲虽住得舒服,却记挂着阿珂、苏荃等几个妻子和虎头等儿女,曾连遣亲兵,送物回家。六位夫人也各有衣物用品送来,大家知他不识字,家书却两免了,只是命亲兵带个口信,说家中大小平安,盼望大帅早日凯旋归来。
It was now high time to comply with Kang Xi’s Edict and move to winter quarters in the south. Leaving a small garrison in Albazin under the command of Lin Xingzhu, but taking the majority of his Specials with him, Trinket divided the army in two sections. He and Songgotu took up residence in Aigun ‘with one half, the other half was stationed at Khumarsk under a Manchu officer called Sabsu. Trinket had the Russian prisoners from Albazin dressed in Manchu uniforms and got Chinese instructors to train them in shouting a few slogans in Chinese. ‘A long, long life to the Emperor!’, ‘The Chinese Emperor brings blessings to every land!’-that sort of thing. When they were sufficiently word’perfect and could shout them in time, he had them marched by stages to Peking. They were told to shout them as they were paraded through the streets and when they came into the presence of the Emperor. The louder they shouted in the Emperor’s presence, they were told, the greater would be their reward.

过得二十多天,康熙颁来诏书,对出征将士大加嘉奖,韦小宝升为二等鹿鼎公,其余将士各有升赏。传旨的钦差将一只用火漆印封住的木盒交给韦小宝,乃是皇上御赐。韦小宝磕头谢恩,打开木盒,不禁一呆。盒里是一只黄金饭碗。碗中刻着“公忠体国”四字,依稀便是当年施琅送给他的,只是花纹字迹俱有破损,却又重行修补完整。韦小宝记得当年这只金饭碗放在铜帽儿胡同伯爵府中,那晚仓惶逃走,并未携出,一凝思间,已明其理。定是那晚炮轰伯爵府后,前锋营军士将府中残损的剩物开具清单,呈交给皇帝。这只金饭碗已打烂了一次,这一次可得好好捧住,别再打烂了。韦小宝心想:“小皇帝对我倒讲义气,咱们有来有往,我也不掘他的龙脉。”当晚大宴钦差,诸将相陪,宴后开赌。
Three weeks later an Edict arrived conferring distinctions on all members of the expedition, both officers and men. Trinket’s dukedom was raised to Second Class in addition to which he received a personal gift from Kang Xi, a casket, which turned out to contain the golden rice’bowl originally given him by Shi Lang. It had been retrieved from the ruins of his former Residence after its bombardment by Father Schall’s cannon. It had been badly damaged, but Kang Xi had had it restored and a new inscription added’ ‘For a Loyal Servant’. He understood the message’ a new beginning. That evening he gave a big dinner for the Envoy and all his officers. Rather more than a month after this Edict, a second one arrived, this one more in the form of a reprimand. Kang Xi had been greatly displeased by the shouted slogans. He disliked empty flattery and he disapproved of a defeated enemy being humiliated. What the Envoy read out was quite a stern lecture and should have made him squirm; but it was completely wasted on Trinket, who felt sure that no one could be really averse to flattery. He put down the Emperor’s displeasure to some fault in the way the slogans were pronounced. It was all the fault of the instructors’ they must have done a bad job. He summoned them to him and gave them a dressing’down. But even this had not greatly worried him, for after bad’mouthing them for a bit, he took out some dice and suggested that they should have a game.

More Russian Blarney

再过月余,康熙又有上谕到来,这一次却是大加申斥,说韦小宝行事胡闹,要罗刹降兵大呼“万寿无疆”,实在无聊之至。上谕中说:“为人君守牧者,当上体天心,爱护黎民。罗刹虽蛮夷化外之邦,其小民亦人也,既已降服归顺,不应复侮弄屈辱之。汝为大臣,须谏君以仁明爱民之道。朕若有惠于众,虽不寿亦为明君,若骄妄残虐,则万寿无疆,徒苦天下而已。大臣谄谀邪佞,致君于不德,其罪最大,切宜为诫。”韦小宝这次马屁拍在马脚上,碰了一鼻子灰,好在脸皮甚厚,也不以为意,对着传旨的钦差大骂自己该死,心想:“天下哪有人不爱戴高帽的?定是这些罗刹兵中国话说得不好,把皇上听得胡里胡涂,惹得他生气。”将教授罗刹兵华语的几名师爷叫来,痛骂一顿。骂完之后,拉开桌子便和他们赌钱,掷得几把骰子,早将康熙的训诫抛到九霄云外。
Except for missing his family, Trinket was very comfortable in Aigun. Once or twice during the long winter months a courier arrived with gifts and little messages from his six wives (knowing he was illiterate, they didn’t write); but apart from that, there was no other news from Peking; until one day in spring, when winter at last was over, a small party of distinguished men arrived from Court with an Edict from Kang Xi. The bearer of the Edict was Kang Xi’s maternal uncle, Tong Guogang, a Manchu Bannerman, though he was in fact of pure Chinese descent. (His sister, the late Empress Kang, was Kang Xi’s mother. Unknown to Trinket, Kang Xi was half Chinese.)

这日京中又有上谕颁来,钦命韦小宝和索额图为议和大臣,与罗刹国议订和约,又派来镶黄旗汉军都统一等公佟国纲、护军统领马喇、尚书阿尔尼、左都御史马齐四人相助。佟国纲宣读上谕已毕,又取出一通公文宣读,却是罗刹国两位沙皇给康熙的国书,这时已由在北京的荷兰国传教士译成了汉文。国书中说道:“谨奉上抚远华夏、洋溢寰宇、率贤臣共图治理、分任疆土、满清兼统、声名远播、大圣皇帝曰:向者父阿列克席米汗罗为汗,曾使尼果来等赉书至天朝通好,以不谙中国典礼,语言举止,陋鄙无文,望宽宥之。至颂扬皇帝,舛谬失礼,亦因地处荒远,典礼素昧所致,幸无见罪。皇帝在昔所赐之书,下国无通解者,未循其故。及尼果来等归问之,但述天朝大臣以不还逋逃人根特木尔等、并骚扰边境为词。近闻皇帝兴师,辱临境上,有失通好之意。如果下国边民构衅作乱,天朝遣使明示,自当严治其罪,何烦动辄干戈?今奉诏旨,始悉端委,遂令下国所发将士,到时切勿交兵。恭请明察我国作乱之人,发回正法,除嗣遣使臣议定边界外,先令末起、佛儿魏牛高、宜番、法俄罗瓦等星驰赉书以行。乞撤雅克萨之围,仍详悉作书,晓谕下国。则诸事皆寝,永远辑眺矣。上国大臣韦小宝阁下,昔年曾见知于我皇姊摄政女王苏菲亚殿下,远临我京师莫斯科,拨乱反正,有大功于下国,此上国之惠也,下国君臣,不敢有忘。谨奉重礼,献于大圣皇帝陛下,以次重礼奉于韦小宝大臣阁下,以示下国诚信修睦之衷。”(按:此通俄罗斯国国书录自史籍,正确无误,惟最后一段关于韦小宝者,恐系小说家言,或未可尽信云。)

佟国纲读了国书后,师爷将书中意思向韦小宝及众将详细解释。这是军中通例,文书来往,文字有时颇为艰深,带兵将官不识字者固多,就算读过几年书的,所识也颇有限,军中来文去件关涉军机大事,如有误解,干系重大,因此满洲军制有师爷解释文书的规定。佟国纲笑道:“这位罗刹国摄政女王,对韦大帅颇念旧情,送来的礼物着实不少。皇上吩咐兄弟一并带了来,交韦大帅收纳。”韦小宝拱手道:“多谢,多谢。”又道:“罗刹人不懂礼节,不说自己的礼物很轻,却自吹自擂,说礼物很重,送给皇上的是重礼,送给我的是甚么次重礼,也不怕人笑话。”佟国纲道:“是。韦大帅献到京城去的罗刹降人,皇上亲加审讯,发现小兵之中,混有一个罗刹大官……”韦小宝“啊”的一声,叫道:“有这等事?”佟国纲道:“这人十分狡猾,混在小兵之中,丝毫不动声色。那日皇上逐批审讯降人,一名荷兰传教士做通译,审到后来,皇上对那传教士说了几句拉丁话。罗刹降人中有一名小兵,忽然脸露诧异神色。皇上问他是不是懂得拉丁话,那个小兵不住摇头。皇上便用拉丁话说道:‘将这个小兵拉出去砍头。’那小兵脸色大变,跪下求饶,供认懂得拉丁话。”

韦小宝问道:“拉丁话是什么话?他们罗刹人拉壮丁挑军粮之时说的话,皇上怎么会说?”佟国纲道:“皇上聪明智慧,无所不晓。罗刹人拉壮丁时说的话,那也会说的。”韦小宝道:“为什么罗刹人平时说的话,皇上不懂,拉壮丁时说的话,却又会说?”佟国纲无法回答,笑道:“这中间的理由,咱们可都不懂了。下次大帅朝见皇上之时,自己磕头请问罢。”韦小宝点点头,问道:“那个罗刹人后来怎样?”佟国纲道:“皇上细细审问,那人终于无法隐瞒,一点点吐露了出来。原来这人名叫亚尔青斯基,是尼布楚、雅克萨两城的都总督。”

众人一听,好不自禁的“啊”的一声。韦小宝道:“这家伙的官可不小哪。”佟国纲道:“可不是吗?罗刹国派在东方的官儿,以他为最大,雅克萨城破之日,定是他改穿了小兵的服色,以致给他瞒过了。”韦小宝摇头笑道:“攻破雅克萨城那天,罗刹的将军、小兵、大官、小官,个个脱得精光,瞧来瞧去,每一个都是这么一回事,实在没甚么分别。不见得官做得大了,那话儿也大些。兄弟的……这个大官认他不出,倒也不是我们的错处。”众将哈哈大笑,向佟国纲解说当日攻破雅克萨城的情景。佟国纲笑道:“原来如此,这也难怪。皇上说道:韦小宝擒获罗刹国尼布楚、雅克萨二城都总管,功劳不小,不过他以为此人只是寻常小兵,办事也太胡涂了,将功折罪,此事无赏无罚。”韦小宝站起身来,恭恭敬敬的道:“皇上恩典,奴才感激之至。”

佟国纲道:“皇上审问这亚尔青斯基,接连问了六天,罗刹国的军政大事,疆域物产,甚么都盘问备细。皇上当真是天纵英明,又从这亚尔青斯基身上,发见了一个秘密。依韦大帅说,这人被擒之时,身上一丝不挂,哪知他竟有法子暗藏秘密文件。”韦小宝骂道:“他奶奶的,这阿二掀死鸡实在鬼计多端,下次见到了他,非要他的好看不可。这秘密文件,又藏在甚么地方?难道藏在屁……屁……”佟国纲道:“罗刹降人朝见皇上之前,自然全身都给御前侍卫仔细搜过,头发、胡子都要摸过,裤子和靴子更要脱下来瞧过明白。番邦之人心怀叵测,倘若身怀利器,那还了得?这个亚尔青斯基当然也曾细细搜过,身上更无别物。可是皇上洞察入微,见他右肩上凸起了一块,又时时斜眼去瞧,便问他手臂上是甚么东西。亚尔青斯基拉起袖子,手臂上绑了厚厚的绷带,说是在雅克萨城受的伤。皇上叫他走上前来,用力在他手臂上捏了一把。亚尔青斯基‘哎唷’一声叫,声音中却不显得如何疼痛。”韦小宝笑道:“有趣,有趣!这罗刹鬼受伤是假的。”

佟国纲道:“可不是吗?皇上当即吩咐侍卫,将他手臂上的绷带解下。亚尔青斯基面如土色,只吓得全身发抖。韦大帅你猜绷带之中,藏着些甚么?”韦小宝道:“你刚才说秘密文件,难道就是这调调儿吗?”佟国纲拍手笑道:“正是。难怪皇上时时赞你聪明,果然一猜便着。那亚尔青斯基绷带中所藏的,赫然是一份文件,是罗刹国沙皇给他的密谕。皇上叫荷兰传教士译了出来,抄得有副本在此。”从封套中取出一份公文,大声读了出来:“汝应向中国皇帝说知:领有全部大俄罗斯、小俄罗斯、白俄罗斯独裁大君主皇帝及大王兼多国之俄皇陛下,皇威远届,已有多国君王归依大皇帝陛下最高统治之下。彼中国皇帝亦应求得领有全部大俄罗斯、小俄罗斯、白俄罗斯独裁大君主皇帝陛下恩惠,归依大皇帝陛下最高统治之下。大皇帝陛下必将爱护中国皇帝于其皇恩浩荡之中,并保护之,使免于敌人之侵害,彼中国皇帝可独得归依大君主陛下,处于俄皇陛下最高统治之下,永久不渝,并向大君主纳入贡赋,大君主皇帝陛下所属人等,应准在中国及两境内自由营商,为此彼中国皇帝应准将大皇帝陛下之使臣放行无阻,并向大皇帝陛下致书答复。”(按:此为真实文件,当年康熙逮捕俄国使臣,将其监禁半月后递解回国,没收此文件,存于宫中档案。原件摄影见“故宫俄文史料”)佟国纲读一句,韦小宝骂一声:“放屁!”待他读完,韦小宝已骂了几十句“放屁”。

佟国纲道:“皇上圣谕:罗刹人野心勃勃,无礼已极。下这道密谕的罗刹皇帝,是现今两位沙皇的父亲,已经死了。那时他还不知道我们中国人的厉害。现下罗刹人吃了苦头,想来已不敢像从前那么放肆了。不过跟他们议和之时,还得软硬兼施,不能轻忽。”韦小宝道:“正是。皇上吩咐了的,咱们狠狠的打他们几个嘴巴,踢他们几脚,又在他们肩上拍拍,背上摸摸。”佟国纲道:“那个甚么摄政女王就狡猾得很,她假装不知道雅克萨已经给我们攻下,说已下令罗刹兵不可跟我们交锋。可是国书之中却又露出了马脚,请皇上将抓住的罗刹人发回给他们正法。”韦小宝笑道:“哪有这么便宜的事?她送给我几张貂皮,几块宝石的次重礼,就想我们放了她的官兵。”佟国纲道:“皇上吩咐:罗刹人既然求和,跟他们议和也是不妨,不过咱们须得带了大军过去,跟他们订个城下之盟。”韦小宝问道:“甚么叫作城下之盟?”
The Edict reiterated Kang Xi’s desire for a peace treaty with the Russians. Trinket and Songgotu were to be the leaders of a Chinese delegation to discuss the terms of the treaty. The other members of the delegation were to be Tong Guogang himself and the three distinguished persons who had accompanied him. When he had finished reading the Edict, Tong Guogang passed on some of the things that Kang Xi had told him informally before he left Peking. The Emperor had gained useful knowledge about Russia from some Dutch priests, one of whom Tong had brought with him as an interpreter. The Russians, the Emperor had said, seemed to be both overbearing and devious. For example, an intercepted letter from a previous Tsar to a Russian envoy spoke of the Chinese Emperor as a future vassal; whereas a letter recently received from the Regent Sophia spoke of a desire for peace, pretending to know nothing about the aggressive Russian behaviour in the Amur region or the fall of Albazin, yet asking for the repatriation of prisoners! Kang Xi thought that the fall of Albazin made this a good time to make peace. But the delegates would still need to be very careful’ sometimes they would need to seem hard and unyielding, sometimes soft and polite. ‘First a kick up the bum and then a pat!’ Trinket suggested. The distinguished delegates wondered what qualified this ill’bred youth to be one of their leaders in the forthcoming talks. ‘The Emperor wants an extramural treaty,’ said Tong. ‘What’s that?’ said Trinket.

佟国纲道:“两国交兵,咱们大军围了番邦的城池,番邦求和,在他城下订立和约,那就叫作城下之盟。这番邦虽然不算投降,总也是认输了。”韦小宝道:“原来如此。其实咱们出兵去把尼布楚拿了下来,也不是什么难事。”佟国纲道:“皇上圣谕:再打几个胜仗,本来也是挺有把握的。不过罗刹是当世大国,属下统辖的小国很多。他们在东方如果败得一塌胡涂,威风大失,属下各小国就要不服。这样一来,罗刹非点起大军来报仇不可,那就兵连祸结,不知打到何年何月方了。皇上盘问了那亚尔青斯基,得知罗刹国的西方另有一个大国,叫做瑞典,和罗刹国之间的大战有一触即发之势。罗刹倘若东西两边同时打仗,很是头痛。咱们乘此机会跟他订立和约,必定可以大占便宜,至少可以保得北疆一百年太平。”

韦小宝大胜之余,颇想一鼓作气,连尼布楚也攻了下来,听得皇上答允罗刹求和,很觉没瘾,但这是皇上的决策,他要搞甚么甚么之中,甚么千里之外,自也难以违旨,转念又想:“你是皇上的舅舅,也是我老婆的舅舅,排起来算是我的长辈。你是一等公,我只是刚升的二等公。这次跟罗刹人议和,皇上却派你来做我副手,皇上给我的面子可也不小了。”佟国纲的父亲佟图赖,是康熙之母孝康皇后的父亲,乃是汉人,因此康熙的血统是半满半汉。佟图赖此时已死,佟国纲袭封为一等公。佟图赖早年在关外便归附满清,属镶黄旗,军功甚著,名气很大,韦小宝却觉得他的名字太也差劲,图赖,图赖,说明赌输了想赖,堂堂国丈,算甚么玩意儿?当晚张宴接风之后,众大臣在韦大帅倡议之下,赌了几手。佟国纲果然输了,但六百两银票推了出去,漫不在乎,毫无图赖之意。韦小宝见他输得爽快,并无父风,不禁颇为诧异,回到房中,上床睡下,这才恍然大悟:“他名叫佟骨光,话明要在骨牌上输清光的。此人赌品极好,可以跟他交个朋友。”次日韦小宝和众大臣商议,大家说既要和对方订城下之盟,不妨就此将大军开去,以逸待劳。韦小宝点头称是,传下将令,瑗珲和呼玛尔城两军齐发,到尼布楚城下会师。
‘It’s the kind of treaty that’s made when a country’s main city is besieged by a big army and the people in the city sue for peace,’ said Tong. ‘The treaty is made outside the city walls, with the besieging army having the upper hand and getting what they want. The Russians will be in Nerchinsk, so the talks should be held under the walls of Nerchinsk. Not that we are planning to besiege it; but the Emperor thinks it would be a good idea to let them first see the size of our army before we begin discussing terms. He thinks they might be more reasonable if they know our strength. Preparations now got under way for moving the army northwards. Dispatches were sent to Sabsu in Khumarsk telling him that the troops there, too, should be put in readiness to depart. The two halves of the army were to join up at a rendezvous south of Nerchinsk.

其时已是夏季,天暖雪溶,军行甚便。这日行至海拉尔河畔,前锋来报,有罗刹兵一小队,带兵队长求见大帅。韦小宝传见队长,原来是华伯斯基和齐洛诺夫二人。
When the army at Aigun finally got under way, it was already early summer. The snow had all melted and the northward march was easy and even pleasurable. They had reached the River Hailar and were temporarily encamped on its banks when one of the advance parties reported that there was a small Russian troop in the area, led by two officers who were asking for the commander of the Chinese army. Trinket said he would see them. As soon as the Russian officers were inside his tent they began bowing obsequiously.

韦小宝喜道:“很好,很好!原来是王八死鸡和猪猡懦夫。”两人躬身行礼,呈上苏菲亚公主的复书。那名罗刹传教士这时仍留在清军大营,以备需用。康熙为了议和签订文书,又遣来一名荷兰传教士相助。韦小宝传两名教士入帐,吩咐他们传译公主的复信。那罗刹教士那日窜改韦小宝的情书原意,这时心中大为惴惴,惟恐在公主回信中露出了马脚,忙取过信来看了一遍,这才放心。那荷兰传教士当下将罗刹文字译成华语。信中说道:分别以来,时时思念,盼和约签成之后,韦小宝赴莫斯科一行,以叙故人之情。韦小宝得两国君主宠爱,须当从中说明种种误会,消除隔阂,树立两国万世和好之基。信中又说:中华和罗刹分居东西,为并世大国,联手结盟,即可宰制天下,任何国家均不能抗。若和议不成,长期战争,不免两败俱伤。因此盼望韦小宝促成此事,于中华固为建立大功,罗刹国亦必另有重酬。又请韦小宝向中国皇帝进言,放还被俘的罗刹国将士,俾得和其家人甜心相聚云云。
‘Ah! Good, good!’ said Trinket. ‘Wobbleski and Chillingoff. You’re back!’ They had brought a letter from Princess Sophia, which he handed to the Dutch priest to translate. Trinket had kept the Russian priest with him, although he spoke only Russian, thinking that he might still be useful occasionally. This Russian priest was there now, in the tent, and fearful that the letter would contain something that would give him away-a reference to something he had written in the letter to Princess Sophia for which there was no equivalent in what Trinket had dictated. Craning over the Dutch priest’s shoulder, he quickly glanced through it. He saw that he need not have worried. The Princess merely said that she missed Trinket very much and hoped that he would visit her in Moscow after the treaty was signed. She very much wanted this treaty. Russia and China were both great empires. If they were friends, apart from the advantages for their two peoples, they could share the world between them. But if they were enemies, they would destroy each other.

荷兰教士传译已毕,韦小宝见华伯斯基和齐洛诺夫二人连使眼色,知道另有别情,于是命两名传教士退出,问道:“你们还有甚么话说?”华伯斯基道:“公主殿下要我们对中国小孩大人说,公主殿下很想念你,罗刹男人不好,中国小孩大人天下第一,一定要请你去莫斯科。”韦小宝哼了一下,心道:“这是罗刹迷汤,可万万信不得。”齐洛诺夫道:“公主殿下另外有几件事,要请中国小孩大人办理。这是公主殿下送给你的。”说着从项颈中取下一条铜链,链条下系着一只革囊。华伯斯基也是如此。想是二人长途跋涉,怕有失落,因此用铜链系在颈中。两只革囊的囊口都用铜锁锁住。华伯斯基又从腰带解下一枚钥匙,去开了齐洛诺夫的铜锁。齐洛诺夫也用自己的钥匙,去开了华伯斯基所携革囊的铜锁。两人恭恭敬敬的将革囊放在韦小宝面前桌上。韦小宝倒转革囊,玎珰声响,倾出数十颗宝石来,彩色缤纷,灿烂辉煌,都是极大的红宝石、蓝宝石、黄宝石。另一只革囊中盛的则是钻石和翡翠。登时满帐宝光,耀眼生花。

韦小宝生平珠宝见过无数,但这许许多多大颗宝石聚在一起,却也是从所未见,笑道:“公主送给我这样的重礼,可当真生受不起。”(按:据《燕京学报》廿五期刘选民著《中俄早期贸易考》,俄国派大使费要多罗•果罗文和中国谈判分疆修好、通商事务。果罗文东来途中,又接获朝廷秘密训令,郑重指示:如能获得中国通商之利,雅克萨城不妨让与中国,并在不损俄皇威严范围内,可秘密予中国代表以相当礼物贿赂。)华伯斯基道:“公主殿下说,如果中国小孩大人办成大事,还有更贵重的礼物送给你:又有大俄罗斯、小俄罗斯、白俄罗斯、哥萨克、鞑靼、瑞典、波斯、波兰、日耳曼、丹麦十国美女,每国一名,个个年轻貌美,都是处女,决非寡妇,一齐送给中国小孩大人。”韦小宝哈哈大笑,说道:“我七个老婆已经应付不了,再有十个美女。中国小孩大人立刻就一命呜呼了。”华伯斯基连称:“不会的,不会的。这十个美貌的处女,公主殿下已经备好,我们亲眼见过,个个像玫瑰花一样的相貌,牛奶一样的皮肤,夜莺一样的声音。”韦小宝怦然心动,问道:“公主殿下要我办甚么事?”

齐洛诺夫道:“第一件,两国和好,公平划定疆界,从此不再交兵。”韦小宝心想:“小皇帝正要如此,这一件办得到。”说道:“你们罗刹国西边,有一个瑞……瑞甚么国的,派来了使者,要和我们一起出兵,东西夹攻罗刹,把你们的国家平分了。那时候甚么大俄罗斯、小俄罗斯、不大不小中俄罗斯、黑俄罗斯、白俄罗斯、五颜六色花俄罗斯,各种美女要多少,有多少,也不用你们公主殿下送了。何况每样只送一名,太也寒蠢小气!”两名罗刹队长一听,都大吃一惊。其时瑞典国王查理十一世在位,也是个英明有为的少年君主,整军经武,颇有意东征罗刹,日来大队兵马源源向东开拔。莫斯科朝廷中文武大臣正以此为忧,不料瑞典竟会想要和中国联盟。罗刹虽强,但如腹背受敌,那就大势去矣。

韦小宝见了两人脸色,知道自己虚晃一招,已然生效,便道:“可是我和公主殿下是甜心好朋友,怎能答应瑞甚么国的蛮子?现下我们中国皇帝还没拿定主意,如果罗刹国确然诚心求好,我可以赶瑞甚么国的使者回国。”两名队长大喜,连称:“罗刹国十分诚意,半点不假。请中国小孩大人快快把瑞典国的使者赶出去,最好是一刀砍了他的头。”韦小宝摇头道:“使者的头是砍不得的。何况他已送了我许多宝石、十几个美女,这一刀也砍不下去啊,是不是?”两位队长连声称是,心想:“原来瑞典国加意迁就,先送货,后收钱,这一手可比我们漂亮了。”又想:“幸亏中国小孩大人是我们公主的甜心,否则的话,这件事当真大大的糟糕。”韦小宝问道:“公主殿下还要我办甚么事?”华伯斯基微笑道:“公主殿下真正想要中国小孩大人办的事,是要请你去莫斯科克里姆林宫公主寝室里去办的。”韦小宝嘿的一声,心道:“这是罗刹迷汤,简称罗刹汤,可喝不可信。”笑道:“原来你们罗刹男人都不中用。”齐洛诺夫道:“也不是罗刹男人不中用,不过公主殿下特别想念中国小孩大人。”韦小宝心道:“又是一碗罗刹汤。”说道:“既是这样,公主没别的事了?”

华伯斯基道:“公主殿下要请中国皇帝陛下准许,两国商人可以来往两国国境,自由通商。”齐洛诺夫道:“两国商人来往密了,公主就时时可以写信送礼给大人。”韦小宝心道:“他妈的,又是一碗。”说道:“这么说来,两国通商,公主是为私不为公?”齐洛诺夫道:“是,是,完全是为了中国小孩大人。”韦小宝道:“现下我不是小孩子了,你们不可再叫甚么中国小孩大人。”两人一齐深深鞠躬,说道:“是,是!中国大人阁下。”韦小宝微微一笑,道:“好了,你们下去休息。我们要去尼布楚,你们随着同去便是。”两人都是一惊,相互瞧了一眼,心想:“中国大军到尼布楚去干什么?难道是去攻城吗?”韦小宝道:“你们放心。我答应了公主,两国和好,不再打仗就是了。”两人又一齐鞠躬,说道:“多谢中国小……不……大人阁下。”华伯斯基又道:“公主听说中国的桥梁造得很好,不论多宽的大江大河,都可以用大石头造桥,下面不用石柱桥墩。公主心爱中国大人阁下,也爱上了中国的东西,因此请大人派几名造桥的工匠技师去莫斯科,造几座中国的神奇石桥。公主殿下天天见到中国石桥,在桥上走来走去散步,就好像天天见到大人阁下一般。”
When the Dutchman had finished translating it, Trinket could see the two Russians making signs to him with their eyes and dismissed the priests so that he could speak with them alone. ‘Well, what is it?’ he said. ‘Excellency Chinese Boy’ Vobolsky began, ‘Her Highness wants you to visit her very much. She thinks Excellency Chinese Boy better than all Russian men. Number One in the world.’ ‘Russian blarney!’ Trinket said to himself; but to Vobolsky he said, ‘I wish you’d stop calling me “Chinese Boy”. I’m not a Chinese boy. I’m a Chinese man.’ ‘Yes, Excellency Chinese Man. We have presents.’ He and Chironov opened their jackets. Each had hanging round his neck a leather pouch with a lock on it and a little key on a chain. Each took off his own key and unlocked the other one’s pouch with it; they emptied the glittering contents onto the table in two little piles’ one of rubies, sapphires, and topazes, and one of diamonds and jadeite. Trinket had seen many gems in his time, but never any as large and beautiful as these. ‘Her Highness loves all Chinese things,’ said Vobolsky. ‘She has heard that the Chinese make wonderful bridges of stone that can stretch from one side of a river to the other in a single arch without needing piers to stand on. She says can Your Excellency Chinese B-, er, Chinese Man send her workmen to make her such bridges. She would love to stand on a Chinese bridge and dream of Chinese Excellency when he is not there.’

韦小宝心想:“罗刹汤一碗一碗的灌来,再喝下去我可要呕了。公主特别看中了我们中国的石桥,那是甚么缘故?其中必有古怪,每不能上这个罗刹狐狸精的当。”说道:“公主想念我,石桥是不用造了,工程太大。我送她几条中国丝棉被、几个中国枕头便是,让她抱住了睡觉,就好像每天晚上有中国大人阁下陪着她。”两名罗刹队长对望了一眼,脸上均有尴尬之色。齐洛诺夫道:“这个……好像……”华伯斯基脑筋较灵,说道:“大人阁下的主意极高,中国丝棉被、中国枕头就由我们带去,公主抱不到中国大人阁下,抱一抱中国丝棉被、中国枕头也是好的。不过丝棉被、枕头过得几年就破烂了,不及石桥牢固,因此建造石桥的技师,还是请大人派去。”韦小宝听他二人口气,罗刹朝廷对造桥技师需求殷切,料想必有阴谋诡计。他不知中国造桥技师当时甲于天下,外国人来到中国,一见到建构宏伟的石桥,必定啧啧称异,赞赏不止,何以拱桥能横越江面,其下不需支柱,更觉神奇莫测。

罗刹人盼望学到这门造桥方法,倒是出于艳羡中国科学技术之心,并无其他阴谋。(按:康熙十五年,俄国派斯巴塔雷N.G.Spatnary为钦差,率同宝石专家、药材专家来北京,提出多项要求,其中一条为:“中国准许俄国借用筑桥技师。”该钦差因不肯向康熙磕头,被清廷驱逐回国。)韦小宝心想:“你们越想要的东西,老子越是不能给你。”说道:“知道了,下去罢!”两名队长不敢再说,行礼退出。不一日,罗刹钦差大臣费要多罗,在尼布楚城得报清军大至,忙差人送信,请清军在原地驻扎,他立即过来相会。(按:罗刹国议和钦差的姓名是费要多罗•果罗文FedorA.Golovin,当时不知西人名先姓后之习,故中国史书称之为费要多罗。)韦小宝道:“不用客气了,还是我们来拜客罢!”清军浩浩荡荡开抵尼布楚城下。萨布素、朋春、马喇分统人马,绕到尼布楚城北、城南、城西把守住了要道,既截住了尼布楚罗刹军的退路,又阻住西来援军。韦小宝亲统中军屯驻城东。中军流星炮射上天空,四面号炮齐响。

尼布楚城中罗刹大臣、军官、士卒望见清军云集围城,军容壮盛,无不气为之夺。费要多罗当即备了礼物,派人送别清军军中,并致书中国钦差大臣,说道两国皇帝已决定罢兵议和,此次会晤专为签订和约,双方军队不宜相距过近,以免引起冲突,有失两国交好之意。
‘More Russian blarney!’ thought Trinket. ‘What does she want Chinese bridges for’ There’s something fishy about this. I don’t trust that woman.’ He hesitated a moment. ‘I’ll think about it,’ he said. ‘I’m on my way to Nerchinsk at the moment. You two had better come with me. I’ll tell you what I’ve decided when we’re there.’ They thanked him and bowed their way out, then went off to fetch their little troop. Nerchinsk The name of the Russian plenipotentiary appointed to negotiate a treaty with the Chinese was Golovin’ Fyodor Alexeyevich Golovin. He and the rest of the Russian delegation were staying at Nerchinsk. When he was informed that a large Chinese army was in the area, he sent a polite note by dispatch’rider to the Chinese commander suggesting that he should halt the army and stay where he was until he, Golovin, could come out to meet him. When this had been translated, Trinket replied, equally politely, that he wouldn’t dream of putting the Russian envoy to so much trouble. He looked forward to meeting His Excellency in Nerchinsk itself and intended to proceed there without delay. This message, translated by the Dutch interpreter with improvements suggested by the Russian priest, was carried back by the same rider. By the time Golovin received it, he saw with dismay that Nerchinsk was about to be besieged by a Chinese army large enough to engage in a major battle. Hastily he composed another note, as polite as the first one but this time much longer and more insistent. He had, he wrote, been sent by the Tsars to negotiate a peace treaty, and had been given to understand that it was also the wish of His Celestial Majesty the Chinese Emperor that a peace treaty should be discussed. His Excellency would surely understand that it would be impossible to discuss the terms of a treaty while the proximity of opposing military forces posed the constant threat of a clash.

韦小宝和众大臣商议。众人都说中华上国不宜横蛮,须当先礼后兵。韦小宝于是下令退兵数里,驻在什耳喀河以东;又令尼布楚城北、西、南三面的清军退入山中候令。费要多罗见清军后撤,略为宽心,又再写了一通文书,提出四点相会的条件:一、会见之所设于尼布楚城与什耳喀河之间的中央:二、会见之日,两国钦差各带随员四十人;三、两国各出兵五百,俄军列于城下,清军列于河边;四、两国使节之护卫亲兵各以二百六十人为限,除刀剑外,不准携带火器。他所以提这四个条件,因清军势大,俄军人少,倘若双方不限人数,俄军必处下风。但罗刹兵火器厉害,如双方兵员相等,俄兵即占优势,料想对方不允,因此先行提出,规定卫兵只可携带刀剑。文书中又建议次日相会。
When he had received this note and had a translation of it explained to him, Trinket consulted his senior colleagues about it. They all agreed that, having already shown the Russians their strength, they ought now to demonstrate how culturally superior they were by deferring to their wishes. Trinket accordingly ordered the army to withdraw southwards and established his headquarters on the bank of the River Shilka. Golovin saw with relief that the Chinese army had withdrawn and sat down to compose another note, this time proposing three conditions to be agreed to by both parties before the talks could begin. They were’ (1) The talks should be conducted at a point halfway between the River Shilka and Nerchinsk. (2) The number of persons in each of the delegations engaged at any one time in the talks should not exceed forty. (3) The military escort of either delegation should not exceed two hundred and sixty men. Swords or sabres might be carried, but no firearms. He suggested that if the Chinese found these conditions acceptable, the talks might begin the next day.

韦小宝和众大臣商议后,认为可行,当即接纳,连夜派兵搭起篷帐,作为会所。次日清晨,韦小宝、索额图、佟国纲等钦差带同随员,率了二百六十名藤牌手,来到会所。只见尼布楚城城门开处,二百余骑哥萨克兵手执长刀,拥簇着一群罗刹官员驰来。这队骑兵人高马大,威风凛凛,清军的藤牌手都是步兵,相形之下,声势大为不如。佟国纲骂道:“他奶奶的,罗刹鬼狡猾得很,第一步咱们便上了当。说好大家只带二百六十名卫兵,就只忘了说骑兵步兵。他们便多了二百六十匹马。”
The Chinese could see nothing to object to in these conditions and having calculated the approximate mid’point between the fortress and their camp, they erected and furnished during the course of that one night a tent’like structure in which the talks could take place. Early next morning Trinket, Songgotu, Tong Guogang, Lin Xingzhu (who had joined them from Albazin), and the other Chinese delegates rode to the place of meeting at the head of a marching column of two hundred and sixty infantry, all taken from Lin’s Specials. Some minutes after they had arrived, and as they sat waiting on horseback with Lin’s Specials drawn up in ranks behind them, the gates of Nerchinsk opened and out rode the Russian delegation followed by a formidable cavalcade of two hundred and sixty mounted Cossacks riding four abreast, tall men on very big horses. ‘Dammit!’ said Tong Guogang. ‘We forgot to say anything about horses. The Russians have scored over us already!’

索额图道:“这件事提醒了咱们跟罗刹鬼打交道,可得打起了十二万分的精神,只疏忽得半分,便着了道儿。”说话之间,罗刹兵驰到近前。佟国纲道:“咱们遵照皇上嘱咐,事事要顾全中华上国是礼仪之邦,大家下马罢。”韦小宝道:“好,大家下马。”众人一齐下马,拱手肃立。罗刹钦差费要多罗见状,一声令下,众官员也俱下马,鞠躬行礼。双方走近。费要多罗说道:“俄罗斯国钦差费要多罗,奉沙皇之命,敬祝大清国皇帝圣躬安康。”韦小宝学着他的说话,也道:“大清国钦差韦小宝,奉大皇帝之命,敬祝罗刹国沙皇圣躬安康。”再加上一句:“又祝摄政女王苏菲亚公主殿下美丽快乐。”费要多罗微微一笑,心想:“大清皇帝祝我们公主美丽快乐,这句颂词倒也希奇古怪,不过公主倘若听到了,想必喜欢。”两人互致颂词,介绍副使。双方译员译出。韦小宝见罗刹官员肃立恭听,倒也礼貌周到,但二百六十名哥萨克骑兵昂然骑在马背,手持长刀,列成队形,一副居高临下的神情,隐隐有威胁之势,越看越有气,说道:“你们的卫兵太也无礼,见了中国大人阁下,怎不下马?”
When the Cossacks had formed up, four ranks of sixty-five men each, and sat motionless in their saddles, very haughty and intimidating, each with a bare sabre held upright in his right hand, they dwarfed the Chinese foot’soldiers who stood facing them. ‘His Majesty has instructed us to conduct ourselves in all things with the courtesy befitting a highly civilized people,’ said Tong Guogang loudly and pointedly. ‘I suggest that we dismount.’ He and the rest of the Chinese delegation got down from their horses and bowed to the Russians. The Russians thereupon got down from their horses and bowed back. But not the Cossacks’ they remained seated impassively in their saddles. An exchange of courtesies followed in which the leader of each delegation offered his own ruler’s felicitations to the ruler of the other. This was greatly protracted by, in each case, having to be translated by an interpreter into the other’s language. It still rankled with Trinket that the rows of supercilious Cossacks remained mounted. He burst out suddenly in his bad Russian, impatiently ignoring the interpreter’ ‘Look here, Fee’oh’dore,’ (he was under the impression that ‘Fyodor’ was his surname) ‘these men you’ve brought with you are a pretty rude lot. Why don’t they get off their horses in the presence of My Excellency?’

他说罗刹话文法颠倒,词句错落,但在恼怒之下,不及等译官译述,罗刹话冲口而出。费要多罗道:“敝国的规矩,骑兵在部队之中,就是见到了沙皇陛下,也不用下马的。”韦小宝道:“这是中国地方,到了中国,就得行中国规矩。”费要多罗摇头道:“对不起,阁下错了。这是俄罗斯沙皇的领地,不是中国的地方。”韦小宝道:“这明明是中国地方,是你们强行占去的。”费要多罗道:“对不起,中国钦差大臣阁下误会了。这是俄国沙皇的领地。尼布楚城是俄罗斯人筑的。”两国此次会议,原是划界争地,当地属中属俄,便是关键的所在。两个钦差大臣刚一见面,还没入帐开始谈判,就起了争执。韦小宝道:“你们罗刹人在中国地方筑了一座城池,这地方就算是你们的了,天下哪有这个道理?”费要多罗道:“这是俄国地方,俄罗斯人在这里筑城,中国人不在这里筑城,这就证明这是俄国地方。中国钦差大臣阁下说这是中国地方,不知有甚么证据?”

尼布楚一带向来无所管束,中俄两国疆界也迄未划分,到底属中属俄,本来谁也没有证据。韦小宝听他问到这句话,不禁为之语塞,待要强辩,苦于说罗刹话辞不达意,寻常应答已感艰难,要巧言舌辩,如何能够?心中一怒,说道:“这是中国地方,证据多得很。”跟着便以扬州话骂道:“辣块妈妈,我入你鬼子十七八代老祖宗。”这一句话出口,扬州的骂人粗话便流水价滔滔不绝,将费要多罗的高祖母、曾祖母、以至祖母、母亲、姊妹、外婆、姨妈、姑母,人人骂了个狗血淋头。罗刹国费家女性,无一幸免。中俄双方官员见中国钦差大臣发怒,无不骇然。只是他说话犹似一长串爆竹一般,别说费要多罗莫名其妙,连中国官员和双方译员也是茫然不解。韦小宝这些骂人说的话,全是扬州市井间最粗俗低贱的俗话,扬州的绅士淑女就未必能懂得二三成,索额图、佟国纲等或为旗人,或为久居北方的武官,却如何理会得?韦小宝大骂一通之后,心意大畅,忍不住哈哈大笑。费要多罗虽然不懂他言语,但揣摩神色语气,料想必是发怒,忽见他又纵声大笑,更加摸不着头脑,问道:“请问贵使长篇大论,是何指教?贵使言辞深奥,敝人学识浅陋,难以通解,请你逐句慢慢的再说一遍,以便领教。”韦小宝道:“我刚才说,你太也不讲道理。我要你的祖母来做甜心,做老婆。”费要多罗微笑道:“我祖母是莫斯科城出名的美人儿,她是彼得洛夫斯基伯爵的女儿。原来中国大人阁下也听到过我祖母的艳名,敝人实在不胜荣幸之至。只可惜我祖母已死了三十八年啦。”韦小宝道:“那么我要你母亲做我的甜心,做我老婆。”费要多罗眉花眼笑,更是喜欢,说道:“我的妈妈出于名门望族,皮肤又白又嫩,她会做法国诗。莫斯科城里有不少王公将军很崇拜她。我们俄国有一位大诗人,写过几十首诗赞扬我的妈妈。她今年虽然已六十三岁了,相貌还是和三十几岁的少年妇人一样。中国大人阁下将来去莫斯科,敝人一定介绍你和我妈妈相识,要结婚恐怕不成,做甜心吗,只要我妈妈答应,那是可以的。”原来洋人风俗、如有人赞其母亲、妻子貌美,非但不以为忤,反而深感荣幸,比称赞他自己还要高兴。
Golovin smilingly remonstrated’ ‘It is the custom in our country. When the Cossacks are on duty, they remain mounted even in the presence of the Tsar.’ That’s as may be’ said Trinket, ‘but this isn’t your country, it’s China.’ Golovin smiled. ‘Oh no, Your Excellency. Nerchinsk was founded and built by us. This is indisputably Russian territory.’ Actually, before the Russians built Nerchinsk, the whole area was terra nullius and had not been claimed by either country. ‘It’s Chinese,’ said Trinket. There’s lots of proof.’ ‘I would like to know what it is,’ said Golovin suavely. ‘Perhaps Your Excellency will be good enough to instruct me.’ His Excellency couldn’t, of course, do any such thing, and because he was rattled, lapsed into Chinese and began cursing and swearing in his native Yangzhou dialect, to the despair of the interpreters, who interpreted a particularly indecent oath of Trinket’s as a desire of His Excellency the Chinese Ambassador to marry His Excellency the Russian Ambassador’s mother. Golovin looked rather pleased. ‘My mother was a great beauty in her day,’ he said. ‘It’s true, she is now widowed and theoretically could remarry; but she is in her late sixties’ a little old for Your Excellency. However, should Your Excellency ever visit Moscow again, I should be pleased to introduce you to her.’

韦小宝却道此人怕了自己,居然肯将母亲奉献,有意拜自己为干爹,满腔怒火登时化为乌有,笑道:“很好,很好。以后如来莫斯科,定是你府上常客。”拉着他手,走入帐中。双方副使随员跟着都进了营帐。韦小宝等一行坐在东首,费要多罗等一行坐在西首。费要多罗说道:“敝国摄政女王公主殿下吩咐,这次划界谈和,我们有极大诚意,双方必须公平,谁也不能欺了对方。因此敝国提出,两国以黑龙江为界,江南属于中国,江北属于俄罗斯。划定疆界之后,俄罗斯兵再也不能渡江而南,中国兵也不能渡到江北。”韦小宝问道:“雅克萨城是在江南还是江北?”费要多罗道:“是在江北。该城是我们俄罗斯人所筑,可见黑龙江江北之地,都是属于俄国的。”韦小宝一听,怒气又生,问道:“雅克萨城内有座小山,你可知叫甚么名字?”费要多罗回头问了随员,答道:“叫高助略山。”
When this was translated, Trinket concluded that Golovin must have been overawed by his display of anger, and changed instantly from angry aggressiveness to affability. ‘Very good, very good!’ he said, shaking Golovin warmly by the hand. ‘Next time I’m in Moscow, you’ll be seeing quite a lot of me at your house.’ Holding him by the hand, he began walking with him into the tent. The two delegations followed. When they were inside the tent, the delegates arranged themselves so that they sat opposite each other along the sides of a long table, with Trinket and Golovin facing each other in the centre. Golovin began. ‘Her Highness the Regent Sophia is of the opinion that the frontier problem can best be solved if it is approached in a spirit of complete sincerity and fairness, with neither side taking advantage of, or seeking to outwit, the other. In this spirit we propose that the River Amur should be taken as the boundary between our two empires, all land to the north of it to be the sovereign territory of Russia and all land to the south the sovereign territory of China.’ ‘Is Albazin north or south of the river?’ Trinket asked. ‘North’ said Golovin. ‘We built it. And Nerchinsk. For that reason we claim all land north of the Amur as our territory.’ ‘What do you call that little mountain near Albazin?’ said Trinket. Golovin consulted one of the Russians sitting at his side. ‘ ‘Kozulya,’ he said. ‘We call it Mount Kozulya.’

韦小宝懂得罗刹语中“高助略”即为“鹿”,说道:“我们中国话叫做鹿鼎山。你可知我封的是甚么爵位?”费要多罗道:“阁下是鹿鼎公,用我们罗刹话说,就是高助略山公爵。”韦小宝道:“这样一来,你是存心跟我过不去了。明知我是鹿鼎公,却要把我的鹿鼎山占了去,岂不是要我做不成公爵么?”费要多罗忙道:“不,不,决无此意。”韦小宝问道:“你是甚么爵位?”费要多罗道:“敝人是洛莫诺沙伐侯爵。”韦小宝道:“好,那么洛莫诺沙伐是属于中国的地方。”费要多罗吃了一惊,随即微笑道:“敝人的封邑洛莫诺沙伐尚在莫斯科之西,怎能是中国的地方?”韦小宝道:“你说你的封邑叫作老猫拉屎法……”费要多罗道:“洛莫诺沙伐。”韦小宝不理他,继续说道:“从我们的京城北京,到老猫拉屎法一共有几里路?要走几天?”费要多罗道:“从洛莫诺沙伐到莫斯科,一共五百多里路,五天的路程。从莫斯科到北京,总得走三个月罢。”韦小宝道:“这样说来,从北京到老猫拉屎法,得走三个月零五天,路程是远得很了。”费要多罗道:“很远,很远!”韦小宝道:“这样的路程,老猫拉屎法当然不会是属于中国的了。”费要多罗微笑道:“公爵说得再对没有了。”韦小宝举起酒杯,道:“请喝酒。”罗刹人嗜酒如命,酒杯放在费要多罗面前已久,酒香阵阵冲鼻,主人没举杯,他不敢便饮,这时见韦小宝举杯,心中大喜,忙一饮而尽。

清方随员又给他斟上酒,从食盒中取出菜肴,均是北京名厨的烹饪,罗刹国其时开化未久,要到日后彼得大帝长大,与其姊苏菲亚公主夺权而胜,将苏菲亚幽禁于尼庵之中,然后大举输入西欧文化,当韦小宝之时,罗刹国一切器物制度、文明教化,俱与中国相去甚远,至于烹工之精,迄至今日,俄国仍和中国相差十万八千里,当年在尼布楚城外,费要多罗初尝中华美食,自然是目瞪口呆,几乎连自己的舌头也吞下肚去了。韦小宝陪着他尝遍每碟菜肴,解释何谓鱼翅,何谓燕窝,如何令鸭掌成席上之珍,如何化鸡肝为盘中之宝,只听得费要多罗欢喜赞叹,欣羡无已。韦小宝随口问道:“贵使这一次是哪一天离开莫斯科的?”费要多罗道:“敝人于四月十二日奉了公主殿下的谕示,从莫斯科出发。”韦小宝道:“很好。来,再干一杯。我们这位佟公爷,酒量很好,你们两位对饮几杯。”当下佟国纲向费要多罗敬酒,对饮三杯。

韦小宝道:“贵使是本月到尼布楚的罢?”费要多罗道:“敝人是上个月十五到的。”韦小宝道:“喂,从四月十二行到七月十五,路上走了三个多月。”费要多罗道:“是,走了三个多月。幸好天时已暖,道上倒也并不难走。”韦小宝大拇指一翘,赞道:“很好!贵使这一番说了真话,终于承认尼布楚不是罗刹国的了。”费要多罗喝了十几杯酒,已微有醉意,愕然道:“我……我几时承认了?”韦小宝笑道:“从北京到老猫拉屎法,得走三个多月,路程很远,因此老猫拉屎法不是中国的地方。从莫斯科到尼布楚,你也走了三个多月,路程可也不近,尼布楚自然不是罗刹国的了。”费要多罗睁大了眼睛,一时无辞可对,呆了半晌,才道:“我们俄罗斯地方大得很,那是不同的。”韦小宝道:“我们大清国地方也可不小哪。”费要多罗强笑道:“贵使爱开玩笑,这……这两件事,是……是不能一概而论的。”韦小宝道:“贵使定要说尼布楚是罗刹国地方,那么咱们交换一下。我到莫斯科去,请公主封你为尼布楚伯爵,封我为老猫拉屎法公爵。这老猫拉屎法城就算是中国地方了。”

费要多罗满脸胀得通红,急道:“这……这怎么可以?”不禁大为担忧,心想公主是他情人,倘若给他在枕头边灌了大量中国迷汤,竟尔答应交换,那就糟糕透顶了。又想:“我那洛莫诺沙伐是祖传的封邑,物产丰富,如果给公主改封到了尼布楚,这里气候寒冷,人丁稀少,可要了我的老命啦。何况我现下是侯爵,改封为尼布楚伯爵,岂不是降级?”韦小宝见他一副忧心忡忡的模样,笑道:“你想连我的封地雅克萨也占了去,叫我做不成鹿鼎公。我有甚么法子?只好去做老猫拉屎法公爵了。虽然你这封邑的名字太难听,甚么老猫拉屎、小狗拉屎的,可也只得将就将就了。”费要多罗寻思:“你中国想占我的洛莫诺沙伐,那是决无可能。不过你韦小宝已受过我俄罗斯帝国的封爵,倘若来谋我的封邑,倒也麻烦。我们也不是真的要雅克萨,这雅克萨已经给你们打下来了,再要你们退出来,自然不肯。”于是脸露笑容,说道:“既然雅克萨城是贵使的封邑,我们就退让一步,两国仍以黑龙江为界,不过雅克萨城和城周十里之地,属于中国。这完全是看在贵使份上,最大的让步了。”

韦小宝心想:“你们打败了仗,还这么神气活现。倘若这一战是你们罗刹人胜的,只怕连北京城也要划给你们了。”说道:“咱们打过一仗,不知是你们胜了,还是我们胜了?”费要多罗皱起眉头道:“小小接仗,也不能说谁胜谁败。我们公主殿下早有严令,为了顾全跟贵国和好,不许开仗,因此贵国军队进攻之时,敝国将士都没有还手。否则的话,局面就大大不同了。”韦小宝一听大怒,说道:“原来罗刹兵枪炮齐放,不算还手?”费要多罗道:“他们不过是守御本国土地,不算还手。罗刹人真的打起仗来,不会只守不攻的。两国要是大战,罗刹火枪手和哥萨克骑兵就会进攻北京城了。”韦小宝怒极,心道:“你奶奶的,你这黄毛鬼说大话吓人。我要是给你吓倒了,我跟你姓,做你儿子,我不叫韦小宝,叫作‘小宝费要多罗’。”他到过莫斯科,知道罗刹人习惯是名前姓后,但费要多罗是名非姓,他却又不知,说道:“那很好,大大的好!侯爵大人,你可知道我心中最盼望的是甚么事?”费要多罗道:“这倒不知道,请你指教。”韦小宝道:“我现下是公爵,心中只盼望加官进爵,封为郡王、亲王。”费要多罗心想:“加官进爵,哪一个不想?”微笑道:“公爵大人精明能干,深得贵国皇帝宠信,只要再立得几件功劳,加封为郡王、亲王,那是确定无疑的。敝人诚心诚意,恭祝你早日成功。”韦小宝低声道:“这件事可得你帮忙才成,否则就怕办不成。”费要多罗一愣,说道:“敝人当得效劳,只不知如何帮法?”

韦小宝俯嘴到他耳边,轻轻说道:“我们大清国的规矩,只有打了大胜仗,立下军功,才能封王。现下我国太平无事,反叛都已扑灭,再等二三十年,恐怕也没仗打。我想封王,那就为难得很了。这次划界议和,你甚么都不要让步,最好派兵向我们挑战,将我们这里的大臣杀死一个两个。咱们两国就大战一场。你派火枪手、哥萨克骑兵去进攻北京。我们和瑞典国联盟,派兵来打莫斯科。只杀得沙尘滚滚,血流成河,那时候我就可以封王了。拜托,拜托,千万请你帮这个大忙。说话悄声些,别让别人听见了。”费要多罗越听越惊,心想这少年胆大妄为,为了想封王,不惜挑起两国战火,还要和瑞典国联盟,这一仗打了起来,将来谁胜谁负虽然不知,但此时彼众我寡,双方军力悬殊,这眼前亏是吃定了的;心下好生后悔,实不该虚声恫吓,说甚么火枪队和哥萨克骑兵攻打北京城,这少年信以为真,非但不惧,反而欢天喜地,这一下当真是弄巧成拙了,但如露出怯意,不免又给他看得小了,一时不由得徬徨失措。

韦小宝又道:“莫斯科离这里太远了,大清兵开去攻打,实在没有把握,说不定吃个败仗,皇上反要怪我……”费要多罗一听有了转机,脸现喜色,忙道:“是,是。奉劝阁下还是别冒险的好。”韦小宝道:“我只是想立功封王,又不想灭了罗刹国。贵国地方很大,我也决计没本事灭得了。”费要多罗又连声称是。韦小宝低声道:“这样罢,你发兵去打北京,我就发兵打尼布楚,咱们哥俩各打各的。打下了北京,是你的功劳;打下了尼布楚,是我的功劳。你瞧这计策妙是不妙?”费要多罗暗暗叫苦,自己手边只二千多人马,要反攻雅克萨也无能为力,却说甚么去攻打北京城,心想再不认错,说不定这少年要弄假成真,只得苦笑道:“请公爵大人不必介意。

刚才我说火枪手和哥萨克骑兵攻打北京城,那是当不得真的,是我说错了,全部收回。”韦小宝奇道:“话已说出了口,怎么收回?”费要多罗道:“敝人向公爵大人讨个情,请你忘了这句话。”韦小宝道:“这么说来,你们罗刹兵是不去攻打北京的了?”费要多罗道:“不会,决计不会。”韦小宝道:“你们也不想强占我的雅克萨城了?”费要多罗摇头道:“不会,不会了。”韦小宝道:“这尼布楚城,你们也决计不敢要了?”费要多罗一怔,说道:“这尼布楚城,是我们沙皇的领地,请公爵大人原谅。”韦小宝心想:“苏州人说‘漫天讨价,着地还钱。’我向他要尼布楚,是要不到手的。且向他要尼布楚以西的地方,瞧他怎么说?”说道:“咱们这次议和,一定要公平交易,童叟无欺,谁也不能吃亏,是不是?”费要多罗点头道:“正是。两国诚意划界,树立永久和平。”韦小宝道:“那好得很。这边界倘若划得太近莫斯科,是你们罗刹人吃了亏,划得太近了北京,是我们中国人吃了亏。最好的法子,是划在中间,二一添作五。”

费要多罗问道:“甚么叫二一添作五?”韦小宝道:“从莫斯科到北京,大约是三个月路程,是不是?”费要多罗道:“是。”韦小宝道:“三个月分为两份,是多少时候?”费要多罗不解其意,随口答道:“是一个半月。”韦小宝道:“对了。咱们也不用多谈了,大家各回本国京城。然后你从莫斯科出发东行,我从北京出发西行。大家各走一个半月,自然就碰头了,是不是?”费要多罗道:“是。不知大人这么干是甚么用意?”韦小宝道:“这是最公平的划界法子啊。我们碰头的地方,就是两国的边界。那地方离莫斯科是一个半月路程,离北京也是一个半月路程。你们没占便宜,我们也没占便宣。但我们这一场胜仗,就算白打了。算起来还是你们占了便宜,是不是?”费要多罗满脸胀得通红,说道:“这……这……这……”站起身来。韦小宝笑道:“你也觉得这法子非常公平,是不是?”费要多罗连忙摇手,道:“不,不!绝对不可以。如此划界,岂不是将俄罗斯帝国的一半国土划给了你?”韦小宝道:“不会是一半啊。你们在莫斯科以西,还有很多国土,那些土地就不用跟中国二一添作五。又何必这样客气?”

费要多罗只气得直吹胡子,隔了好一会,才道:“公爵大人,你如诚心议和,该当提些通情达理的主张出来。这样……这样的法子,要将我国领土分了一半去,那……那太也欺人太甚。”说着气呼呼的往下一坐。腾的一声,只震得椅子格格直响。韦小宝低声道:“其实议和划界,没甚么好玩,咱们还是先打一仗,你说好不好?”费要多罗不住喘气,忍不住便要拍案而起,大喝一声:“打仗便打仗!”但想到这一仗打下去,后果实在太过严重,己方又全无胜望,只得强行忍住,默不作声。韦小宝突然伸手在桌上一拍,笑道:“有了,有了,我另外还有个公平法子。”伸手入怀,取出两粒骰子,吹一口气,掷在桌上,说道:“你不想打仗,又不愿二一添作五,咱们来掷骰子,从北京到莫斯科,算是一万里路程,咱们分成十份,每份一千里。我跟你掷骰子赌十场,每一场的赌注是一千里国土。如果你运气好,赢足十场,那么一直到北京城下的土地,都算罗刹国的。”费要多罗哼了一声,道:“要是我输足十场呢?”韦小宝笑道:“那你自己说好了。”费要多罗道:“难道莫斯科以东的万里江山,就通统都是中国的了?”韦小宝道:“我猜你运气也不会这样差,十场之中连一场也赢不了。你只消赢得一场,就保住了一千里土地,两场二千里,赢得六场,就有便宜了。”费要多罗怒道:“有甚么便宜?莫斯科以东六千里,本来就是俄国地方。七千里、八千里,也都是俄国的地方。”
Trinket knew that kozulya was the Russian word for ‘deer’. ‘Do you know what my title is?’ Trinket asked him. ‘You are, I believe, the Duke of Luding’ said Golovin. ‘We Chinese call that mountain Ludingshan’ said Trinket. ‘It means Deer and Cauldron Mountain. I am the Duke of Albazin. And what about your title?’ Golovin, it appeared, was a marquis with estates somewhere west of Moscow. Trinket suggested that a solution might be for him and Golovin to do an exchange’ he would have Golovin’s estates west of Moscow and Golovin would get Albazin and Nerchinsk. He would suggest this to Princess Sophia next time he was in Moscow. The proposal was preposterous; but Golovin had heard that the Princess was quite besotted with her young Chinese lover, and there was no knowing what that capricious young woman might not consent to in the heat of passion. After some rather undignified exchanges, Golovin began to waver and agreed that perhaps, in view of Lord Wei’s special connection with it, an exception might be made in the case of Albazin itself. Perhaps Albazin and a small area around it might be conceded, with access from the Chinese side. But that was the most that could be allowed in the way of compromise. Trinket insisted that the Russian proposal to take the Amur as the boundary was unacceptable. When challenged to produce a more satisfactory alternative, he proceeded to make a succession of proposals, each more preposterous than the last, ending with the suggestion that they should establish the boundary by means of dice, each successful throw representing so many square miles of territory. Golovin’s suave self’assurance was rapidly giving way to irritation and anger.

韦小宝与费要多罗二人不住口的交涉,作翻译的荷兰教士在旁不断低声译成中国话。佟国纲、索额图等听在耳里,初时觉得费要多罗横蛮无理,竟然要以黑龙江为界,直逼中国辽东,那是满洲龙兴之地,如何可受夷狄之逼?心中都感恼怒;后来听得韦小宝说渴欲打仗立功,以求裂土封王,俄使便显得色厉内荏,不敢接口:再听得韦小宝东拉西扯,什么交换封邑、二一添作五、又是甚么掷骰子划界,每注一千里土地,明知是胡说八道,对方是决计不会答应,但费要多罗的气焰却已大挫,均想:“罗刹人横蛮,确是名不虚传,要是跟他们一本正经的谈判,非处下风不可。皇上派韦公爵来主持和议,果真大有知人之明。这番邦鬼子是野蛮人,也只有韦公爵这等不学无术的市井流氓,才能跟他针锋相对,以蛮制蛮。”佟国纲、索额图等大臣面子上对韦小宝虽都十分恭敬客气,心底里却着实瞧他不起,均觉他不过是皇上宠幸的一个小丑弄臣,平日言谈行事,往往出丑露乖,却偏偏又恬不知耻,自鸣得意,此番与外国使臣折冲樽俎,料想难免贻笑外邦,失了国家体面。哪知皇上量材器使,竟然大收其用,若不派这个惫懒人物来办这桩差使,满朝文武大臣之中,还真找不出第二个来。众大臣越听越佩服,更觉皇上英明睿智,非众臣所及。索额图听到这里,突然插口道:“莫斯科本来是我们中国的地方。”荷兰教士将这句话传译了。费要多罗大吃一惊,心想:“这少年胡言乱语,也还罢了。怎地你这老头儿也这样不要脸的瞎说?竟说我国京城莫斯科是你们中国地方?”索额图又道:“按照贵使的说法,只要是罗刹人暂时占据过的土地,就算是罗刹国的土地了,是不是?”费要多罗道:“本来就是这样嘛!贵使却说莫斯科是中国地方,嘿嘿,那……那太笑话奇谈了。”索额图道:“罗刹国的人民有大俄罗斯、小俄罗斯、白俄罗斯,又有哥萨克、鞑靼等等,那都是罗刹人。”费要多罗道:“一点不错,我国土地广大,治下人民众多。”
Songgotu (although he was Trinket’s friend) had so far inclined to the opinion, privately held by most of his colleagues on the Chinese delegation, that the appointment of an illiterate young clown, merely because he was the Emperor’s favourite, to be China’s chief representative in these important talks was a folly that was likely to end in disaster. He now began to see that there was a goou deal of sense in Kang Xi’s choice. Trinket’s idea of diplomacy was risible; but at least his clowning had stalled the Russian attempt to gain instant recognition of their right to retain what they had seized by brute force or guile. And in the case of Albazin, the young clown had even gained a concession. Entering into the spirit of the thing, he decided to try a little Golovin’baiting himself. ‘Of course,’ he said, ‘if occupying land gives you the right of ownership, you could argue that Moscow itself is really Chinese territory.’ ‘Our settlements north of the Amur are, I should have thought, sufficient grounds for claiming ownership,’ said Golovin. ‘But-ha ha-the notion that Moscow belongs to China is grotesque. A tasteless joke, my dear sir.’ ‘Not at all’ said Songgotu. ‘Russia is, I believe, a large country, containing many peoples.’ ‘Indeed,’ said Golovin. ‘Russians, Byelorussians, Ukrainians, Cossacks, Tartars’ we include many peoples in our great empire. But all are subjects of the Tsars. All, in that sense, are Russians.’

索额图道:“我国百姓的种类也很多啊,有满洲人、蒙古人、汉人、苗人、回人、藏人等等。”费要多罗道:“正是。俄国是大国,中国也是大国。咱们这两国,是当世最大的大国。”索额图道:“贵使这次带来的卫兵,好像都是哥萨克骑兵。”费要多罗微微一笑,说道:“哥萨克骑兵英勇无敌,是天下最厉害的勇士。”索额图道:“哥萨克骑兵比俄罗斯人是厉害得多了?”费要多罗道:“话不能这么说。哥萨克是罗刹百姓,俄罗斯也是罗刹百姓,毫无分别。好比满洲人是中国人,蒙古人、汉人也是中国人,毫无分别。”索额图点头道:“那就是了。因此莫斯科是我们中国人的地方。”韦小宝听他二人谈到这里,仍不明白索额图的用意,他明知莫斯科离此有万里之遥,决非中国地方,但听索额图说得像煞有其事,而费要多罗额头青筋凸起,脸色一时铁青,一时通红,显是心中发怒如狂,便插口道:“莫斯科是中国地方,那是半点也不错的。中国皇帝宽宏大量,给你们刘备借荆州,一借之后就永世不还。”费要多罗自然不知刘备借荆州是甚么意思,只觉得这些中国蛮子不讲理性,说话完全不像文明人,冷笑道:“我从前听说中国历史悠久,中国人很有学问,哪知道……嘿嘿,就是专爱不凭证据的瞎说。”索额图道:“贵使是罗刹国大臣,就算没甚么学问,但罗刹国的历史总是知道的?”费要多罗道:“我国的历史都有书为证,清清楚楚的写了下来,决不是凭人随口乱说的。”索额图道:“那很好,中国从前有一位皇帝,叫做成吉思汗……”

费要多罗听到“成吉思汗”四个字,不由得“哎唷”一声,叫了出来,心中暗叫:“糟糕,糟糕!怎么我胡里胡涂,竟把这件大事忘了。”索额图继续道:“这位成吉思汗,我们中国叫做元太祖,因为他是我们中国创建元朝的太祖。他是蒙古人。贵使刚才说过,满洲人、蒙古人、汉人都是中国人,毫无分别。那时候蒙古骑兵西征,曾和罗刹兵打过好几次大仗。贵国历史有书为证,一切都清清楚楚的写了下来,决不是凭人随口乱说。这几场大仗,不知是我们中国人赢了,还是贵国罗刹人赢了?”费要多罗默然不语,过了良久,才道:“是蒙古人赢了。”索额图道:“蒙古人是中国人!”费要多罗瞪目半晌,缓缓点头。韦小宝不知从前居然有这样的事,一听之下,登时精神大振,说道:“中国人和罗刹人打仗,罗刹人是必输无疑的。你们的本事确是差了些,下次再打,我们只用一只手好了。否则的话,双方相差太远,打起来没甚么味儿。”费要多罗怒目而视,心想:“若不是公主殿下颁了严令,这次只许和、不许战,凭你说这些侮辱我们罗刹人的话,我便要跟你决斗。”韦小宝笑嘻嘻的问索额图道:“索大哥,成吉思汗是怎样打败罗刹兵的?”索额图道:“当年成吉思汗派了两个万人队西征,一共只有二万人马,便杀得罗刹联军十余万人大败亏输。成吉思汗的孙子拔都,也是一位大英雄,率领军队将罗刹兵打得落花流水,占领了莫斯科,一直打到波兰、匈牙利,渡过多瑙河。

此后几百年中,罗刹的王公贵族都要听我们中国人的话。那时我们中国的蒙古英雄,住在黄金镶嵌的篷帐里。莫斯科大公爵时时来向中国人磕头。中国人说要打屁股就打屁股,要打耳光就打耳光,罗刹人还笑嘻嘻的大叫打得好,否则的话,他就当不成公爵。”(按:蒙古大将拔都于公元1238年攻陷莫斯科及基辅,蒙古人于1240年至1480年的240年间,统治俄罗斯广大土地,建立“金帐汗国”。《大英百科全书》于“俄罗斯”条中有如下记载:“莫斯科的王子公爵,必须去伏尔加河口萨莱城朝见黄金帐中的蒙古可汗,接受封号。他们通常要忍受诸般屈辱。朝拜已毕而回到莫斯科后,便能向鞑靼人收税,欺压邻近的诸侯小邦。”)韦小宝听得眉飞色舞,击桌大赞:“乖乖龙的东!原来莫斯科果然是属于中国的。”费要多罗脸上一阵青、一阵白,索额图所述确是史实,绝无虚假,只是罗刹向来不认蒙古人是中国人。此时蒙古属于中国,由此推论,说莫斯科曾属于中国人,也非无稽之谈。韦小宝道:“侯爵阁下,我看划界的事,我们也不必谈了,请你回去问问公主,甚么时候将莫斯科还给中国。我也要赶回北京,采购牛皮和黄金,以便精制一顶黄金篷帐,然后拆平克里姆林宫,竖立金帐,请苏菲亚公主来睡觉。哈哈,哈哈!”
‘We, too,’ said Songgotu. ‘We, too, are a large country containing many peoples’ Hans, Manchus, Mongols, Tibetans, Miaos, Uighurs . .. but all subject to our Emperors, all in that sense Chinese.’ ‘I am sure that is so’ said Golovin. ‘But I fail to see in what way it is relevant to your extraordinary assertion that Moscow is Chinese.’ ‘I know nothing about Russian literature’ said Songgotu, ‘but I am sure there must be written history. Doubtless you will have heard of Genghis Khan, who overran the whole of Russia with his Mongol horsemen four hundred years ago. His successors ruled as Emperors in China. We call them the “Yuan dynasty”, and Genghis Khan we call the Founder of the Yuan dynasty. The Mongols are one of the peoples of China. Mongols occupied Russia for many years-far longer, I believe, than the Russians have occupied the land north of the Amur. I think our claim on Moscow is quite a good one.’ ‘Holy ting’a’lings!’ said Trinket. ‘So Moscow is really Chinese. I wouldn’t mind a golden yurt in Moscow!’ He turned to Golovin’ There’s no need to carry on with these talks. You can go back to Moscow straight away and ask the Princess when she can be ready to hand over.’

费要多罗听到这里,再也忍耐不住,霍地站起,冲出帐外,只听得他怒叫如雷,大声吆喝,传呼命令,跟着马蹄声响,两百多匹马一齐冲将过来。韦小宝大吃一惊,叫道:“啊哟,这毛子要打仗,咱们逃命要紧。”佟国纲久经战阵,很沉得住气,喝道:“韦公爷别慌,要打便打,谁还怕了他不成?”只听得帐外哥萨克骑兵齐声大呼。韦小宝吓得全身发抖,一低头,便钻入了桌子底下。佟国纲和索额图面面相觑,心下也不禁惊慌。帐门掀开,一将大踏步进来,正是带领藤牌兵的林兴珠,朗声说道:“启禀大帅……”却不见大帅到了何处。韦小宝在桌子底下说道:“我……我……我在这里,大伙儿快……快逃命罢。”林兴珠蹲下身来,对着桌子底下的韦大帅说道:“启禀大帅:罗刹兵声势汹汹,咱们不能示弱,要干就干他妈的。”韦小宝听他说得刚勇,心神一定,当即从桌子底下爬了出来,适才起事仓卒,以致躲入桌底,其实他倒也不是一味胆怯,一拍胸口,说道:“对,要干就干他奶奶的,老子身先士卒,勇往……勇往不……不前。不对!勇往值钱(他想勇往才值钱,不勇往就不值钱)。”拉住林兴珠的手,走向帐外。一出帐外,只见二百六十名哥萨克骑兵高举长刀,骑了骏马,围着帐篷耀武扬威,一圈圈的不停疾驰。费要多罗一声令下,众骑兵远远奔了开去,在二百余丈之外,列成了队伍,二十六骑一行,十行骑兵排得整整齐齐,突然间高声呼叫,向着韦小宝急冲过来。

韦小宝叫道:“我的妈啊!”便要钻进营帐,转念一想:“罗刹鬼如要杀我,躲入营帐还是给他们揪了出来,这个脸可丢不得。”当下全身发抖,脸如土色,居然挺立不动。林兴珠喝道:“藤牌手保卫大帅!过来!”二百六十名藤牌手齐声应道:“是。”快步奔来,站在韦小宝等众大臣之前。韦小宝从靴筒中拔出匕首,心想:“倘若罗刹鬼真要动蛮,大家便拚斗一场,义气可不能不顾。”抢过去站在索额图面前,叫道:“索大哥别怕,我护住你。”索额图是文官,早已吓得魂不附体,说道:“全……全仗兄弟了。”只见十排哥萨克骑兵急冲过来,冲到离清兵五丈外,当先的队长长刀虚劈,一声吆喝,众骑兵挺身勒马,二百六十匹马同时间停住了脚步站定。那队长又一声吆喝,众骑兵从中分为两队,一百三十骑折而向北,一百三十骑折而向南,奔出数十丈,兜了个圈子,又回到离帐篷二百余丈处站定,队形丝毫不乱。二百六十骑人马便如是一人一骑,果然是训练有素的精兵。费要多罗哈哈大笑,高声叫道“公爵大人,你瞧我们的罗刹兵怎样?”
Golovin’s face was livid. He got up from the table, knocking over his chair as he did so, and stormed out of the tent. A long silence followed, during which those inside wondered what they should do next. Suddenly there was a thunder of hooves and Trinket, momentarily panicking, hid underneath the table. Almost at the same moment an agitated Lin Xingzhu came rushing into the tent. ‘Lord Wei-?’ ‘Just coming,’ said Trinket, emerging rather ashamedly from under the table. ‘He’s up to something with those Cossacks’ said Lin Xingzhu. ‘What do you want me to do?’ ‘Bring your men nearer’ said Trinket. ‘Don’t do anything yet, but if he tries any funny business, have him surrounded.’ Lin Xingzhu went outside again, followed by Trinket and several of the others. Golovin had got the Cossacks performing manoeuvres. In perfect formation the two hundred and sixty horsemen charged with drawn sabres towards the tent where the talks were being held, then, at a single word of command, they reined to a halt at barely ten yards from it, still perfectly in line. At another word of command they separated into two squadrons of one hundred and thirty, each of which rode off in opposite directions and then, after riding in a straight line for a considerable distance, wheeled round in two great arcs, finally coming together into a single body again and ending up where they had started, in perfect formation. It was a breathtaking performance. ‘Well, my lord’ Golovin said, with a triumphant laugh, ‘what do you think of our Russian cavalry?’

韦小宝这时才知他不过是炫武示威,心中大怒,叫道:“那是马戏班耍猴子的玩意儿,打起仗来,半点用处也没有的。”费要多罗怒道:“咱们再来!”心想:“这一次直冲到你跟前,瞧你逃不逃走。”叫道:“把中国兵的帽子都削下来。”哥萨克骑兵队长叫出号令,二百六十名骑兵又疾驰过来。韦小宝叫道:“砍马脚!”林兴珠叫道:“得令!砍马脚!别伤人!”但听得蹄声如雷,二百六十匹马渐奔渐近,哥萨克骑兵的长刀在太阳下闪闪发光,眼见奔到身前三十丈、二十丈、十丈……仍未停步,又奔近了四五丈,林兴珠叫道:“滚堂刀,上前!”二百六十名藤牌手一跃而前,在地下滚了过去。这二百六十人都是林兴珠亲手教练出来的地堂刀好手,身法刀法皆尽娴熟,翻滚而前,藤牌护身,却不露出半点刀光。哥萨克骑兵突见清兵滚着地来,都是大为诧异。雅克萨城守军曾吃过藤牌手的苦头,但那些守军死的死,俘的俘,早已全军覆没。这队哥萨克骑兵新从莫斯科护送费要多罗东来,从未见过藤牌兵的打法,均想你们在地下打滚,太也愚蠢,给马踏死了可怪不得人。顷刻之间,第一列骑兵已和藤牌兵碰在一起,猛然间众马齐嘶,纷纷摔倒。藤牌兵利刃挥出,一刀便斩下一两条马脚,藤牌护身,毫不停留的斩将过去。罗刹兵人喊马嘶声中,藤牌兵已滚过十行骑兵,斩下一百七八十条马脚,在哥萨克骑兵阵后列成了队伍。林兴珠率领藤牌兵快步奔回,又排在韦小宝之前。二百六十人中只十余人被马踹伤压伤,伤势均轻,伤者强忍痛楚,仍然站在队中。二百六十名哥萨克骑兵大半摔下马来,有的给坐骑压住,躺在地下呻吟呼号,只有数十人纵骑远远逃开,大部份站在地上,手足无措。这些骑兵一生长于马背,只有骑在马上,才剽悍骁勇,双足一着地,便如是游鱼出水,无所凭借了。韦小宝叫道:“分兵一半,围住罗刹大官。”林兴珠喝出号令,便有一百名藤牌手将费要多罗等十余名官员围住,一百柄大刀组成了一个刀圈,刀锋向着圈内,只须一声令下,这一百柄大刀挤将进去,费要多罗等还不成为罗刹肉饼子?哥萨克骑兵的正副队长见状,飞步奔来,大叫:“不可伤人,不可伤人!”
Trinket wasn’t going to be intimidated. He saw that Lin Xingzhu’s troop had re-formed closer to the tent. ‘Just circus stuff,’ he said. ‘Not much use when it comes to fighting.’ This time Golovin completely lost his temper. ‘Charge to disperse!’ he called to the Cossack captain. ‘From four hundred yards.’ The order was given in Russian and would have been meaningless even to a Russian unless he was a cavalryman; but Lin Xingzhu and the other non’Russian speakers saw what was intended when the Cossacks turned round their horses, withdrew a short distance, then faced about and were evidently preparing to charge. Lin Xingzhu turned to the man beside him and muttered something. The Cossack captain barked an order and his men dug in their spurs, held aloft their sabres, and began to move forwards, uttering bloodcurdling cries. Just as they were getting up speed, four of Lin’s men darted out and, quick as a flash, had Golovin surrounded and their sword’points touching his throat and other parts of his body. The Cossack charge had to be aborted. The captain, having frantically brought it to a halt, dismounted and began walking forwards, as if to ask Golovin for instructions; but as he drew near, he suddenly swivelled round, pulled a pistol from inside his jacket, and pointed it at Trinket. Without his needing to say anything, the meaning was clear enough’ ‘Kill my leader and I will kill yours.’

韦小宝转头对穿着亲兵装束的双儿道:“过去点了他们的穴道。”双儿道:“好!”纵身而出,欺到哥萨克骑兵队长身后,伸指点了他后腰穴道,跟着又点了副队长的穴道。一名小队长伸手入怀,拔出一枝短枪,叫道:“不许动!”双儿抓住身畔一名罗刹兵,挡在身前,推着他走前几步。那小队长便不敢开枪,又叫:“不许动!”双儿抓起那罗刹兵向他掷去。那小队长一惊,闪身相避,双儿已纵身过去,点了他胸口和腰间的穴道,夹手抢过他手中短枪,朝天砰的一声,放了一枪。韦小宝大声道:“好啊,双方说好不得携带火器,你们罗刹鬼子太也不讲信用。”走前几步,对费要多罗道:“喂,你叫手下人抛下刀枪,一起下马,排好了队,身上携带火器的都缴出来。”
Once more Doublet saved the day. Trinket had allowed her to put on the uniform of a Chinese soldier and she had been serving as one of the orderlies during the talks. A young, unarmed batman could pose no threat and attracted no attention and she had slipped behind the captain and closed several points on his body before anyone noticed what she was doing. He could neither move nor utter a sound, and she was able to take the pistol from his hand rather like detaching a movable part from a statue. There was outrage on the Chinese side. It was Golovin himself who had drawn up the rules which were to be observed throughout the talks, one of which specifically prohibited the carrying of firearms. Songgotu formally protested at this breach of faith and his protest was translated into Russian by one of the interpreters. Replying through the interpreter, Golovin claimed that it was in disobedience to his orders that the captain had been carrying the pistol’ he had expressly ordered his guards to leave their firearms behind. Tell him to get them all to dismount and lay down their weapons’ said Trinket. ‘Including firearms.’

费要多罗眼见无可抗拒,便传出令去。哥萨克骑兵只得抛下刀剑,下马列队。韦小宝吩咐一百六十名藤牌手四下围住,搜检罗刹兵。二百六十人身上,倒抄出了二百八十余枝短枪。有的一人带了两枝。尼布楚城下罗刹兵望见情势有变,慢慢过来。东边清军也拔队而上。两邻相距数百步,列阵对峙。罗刹兵望见主帅被围,只有暗暗叫苦,不敢再动。韦小宝问费要多罗道:“侯爵大人,你带了这许多火器来干甚么啊?”费要多罗垂下了头,说道:“对不起得很,我的卫兵不听命令,暗带火器,回去我重重责罚。”
While this was being relayed and then translated by the interpreter, and while Golovin, with two swords still at his throat, was giving this order to the Cossacks, Trinket sent a runner to the main Chinese army in the rear with orders to advance, bringing the cannon with them, and take up nearer positions in full view of Nerchinsk. Meanwhile the Cossacks had begun dismounting and laying down their sabres. None of them, apparently, had any firearms. ‘I think we’d better try searching one or two of them, just to make sure’ said Trinket, who didn’t trust the Russians and suspected that the captain was not the only one who had brought a pistol. His suspicion proved not unfounded. Three soldiers of Lin’s company began searching the men in the front line of the Cossacks. They searched each man in turn, two of them standing guard while the third did the actual searching. They had only reached the third man in the row when they had already found four pistols’ the first and third Cossacks had a pistol each, the one between them had two. As each pistol was produced, Golovin expressed astonishment and indignation. This was disgraceful, he said. The men would be severely punished for their disobedience.

韦小宝叫道:“藤牌手,解开自己衣服,给他们瞧瞧,有没有携带火器?”二百六十名藤牌手抛下藤牌,以左手解衣,右手仍高举大刀,以防对方矣诏。各人解开衣衫,袒露胸膛,跳跃数下,果然没一人携带火器。费要多罗心中有愧,垂头不语。韦小宝以罗刹话大声道:“罗刹人做事不要脸,把他们的衣服裤子都脱下来,瞧瞧他们还带了火器没有?”费要多罗大惊,忙道:“公爵大人,请你开恩。你……你如剥了我的裤子,我……我只好自杀了。”韦小宝道:“这裤子是非剥不可的。”费要多罗道:“请你饶恕一次,别的事情,一切都依你吩咐。”韦小宝道:“刚才你的骑兵冲将过来,吓得我钻到了桌子底下,大失公爵大人的体面。这件事怎么办?”费要多罗心想:“是你自己胆小,我有什么法子?”但身旁清兵刀光闪闪,只好道:“敝人愿意赔偿损失。”韦小宝心中一乐,暗道:“罗刹竹杠送上门来了。”一时想不出要他赔偿甚么,传下命令:“把罗刹大官小兵的裤带都割断了。”藤牌手大叫:“得令!”举起利刃插进罗刹人腰间,刃口向外,一拉之下,裤带立断。

自费要多罗以下,众罗刹人无不吓得魂飞天外,双手紧紧拉住裤腰,惟恐跌落,韦小宝哈哈大笑,传令:“押着罗刹人,得胜回营!”这时罗刹官兵人人担心的只是裤子掉下,毫不抗拒,随着清兵列队向东。佟国纲笑道:“韦大帅妙计,当真令人钦佩。割断裤带,等于在顷刻之间,将二百六十名罗刹官兵尽数双手反绑了。”韦小宝笑道:“罗刹男人最怕脱裤子,罗刹女人反而不怕,那不是怪得很么?”佟国纲等人都色迷迷的笑了起来。一行人和大军会合,清军中推出四百余门大炮,除下炮衣,炮口对准了罗刹军。其时罗刹国虽然火器犀利,但在东方,却不及康熙这次有备而战,以倾国所有大炮的半数调到了尼布楚前线,是以不论兵力火力,都是清军胜过了数倍。罗刹军突然见到这许多大炮,都是面面相觑,大有惧色。统军将官急忙传令回城,紧闭城门。清军却也并不攻城。这时哥萨克骑兵的队长、副队长、和一名小队长被双儿点了穴道,兀自动弹不得。三人犹如泥塑木雕一般,站在空地之上。罗刹众兵将回入尼布楚城时十分匆忙,未曾留意,这时在城头望见,均感诧异,却都不敢出城相救。过了半个时辰,见这三人仍然呆立不动,便有一队哥萨克骑兵出城来救,只行得十余丈,清军大炮便轰了数发。守城将军忙命号兵吹起退军号,将这队骑兵召了回去,生怕清兵大至,连出城的救兵也失陷了。城上城下,两军遥遥望见三人定住不动,姿势怪异。清兵鼓噪大笑,罗刹兵尽皆骇然。
‘You can’t trust these people,’ said Trinket. ‘Better strip’search those fellows in case you’ve missed anything.’ (He didn’t for a moment think they had missed anything, but he had other reasons.) Protesting somewhat, the three were stripped to the buff in front of all their fellows. Trinket suggested that the rest of the Cossack guard might prefer to hand over their firearms themselves rather than submit to the humiliation of being publicly undressed. This was translated by an interpreter, Golovin being, by now, speechless with confusion and shame. It had the desired effect. A total of two hundred and seventy’five pistols was collected. That is to say, not counting the captain and the three who had been searched and stripped, the remaining two hundred and fifty’six men all had one pistol each except for fourteen of them who each had a pair. Trinket told the four men surrounding Golovin to lower their swords and withdraw, so that he could speak to him, man to man. ‘If you can’t rely on your men to obey your orders, I don’t see how they can be trusted to stay here,’ he said. ‘I think we’d better send them back to Nerchinsk under guard for you to deal with later.’ Golovin made no reply. Trinket ordered that the Cossacks have their hands tied behind them. They were then made to form a column and marched off, guarded by Lin Xingzhu’s Specials, and handed over at the gates of Nerchinsk. The garrison of Nerchinsk, witnessing this debacle but scarcely understanding what had happened, did not know what to do. Then they looked at the massed forces of the Chinese army and the numerous cannon trained upon the fortress and wisely decided to do nothing.

韦小宝将费要多罗等一行请入中军帐内,分宾主坐下。韦小宝只笑嘻嘻的不语。费要多罗怒道:“公爵大人,你不用跟我玩把戏,要杀就杀好了。”韦小宝笑道:“我跟你是朋友,为甚么杀你?咱们还是来谈划界的条款罢。”他想此刻对方议界大臣已落入自己掌握之中,不论自己提出甚么条件,对方都难以拒却。不料费要多罗是军人出身,性子十分倔强,昂然道:“我是你的俘虏,不是对等议界的使节。我处在你的威胁之下,甚么条款都不能谈。就算谈好了,签了字,那也没有效。”
‘Well, after that interruption, let’s get on with the talks,’ said Trinket brightly. The two delegations trooped back into the tent and resumed their places on opposite sides of the table, Golovin facing Trinket, very stiff and silent and resolved not to say anything. Outside, the Cossack captain immobilized by Doublet was left standing alone, statue’like’ a source of merriment to Lin Xingzhu’s wicker’shield’carrying guards. From time to time heads would pop up above the walls of Nerchinsk’ it was members of the garrison, curious to get a glimpse of this latest example of what Chinese sorcery could do to its victims. Inside the tent Trinket was confident that, having gained the upper hand by humiliating the Russians, he would be able to impose what terms he liked on them. But he had greatly misjudged his man. When he smilingly proposed that they should resume the talks, Golovin obdurately refused. ‘I am your prisoner,’ he said. ‘You may do with me as you like, but it won’t make any difference. Any terms obtained under duress will be invalid.’

韦小宝道:“为甚么没有效?”费要多罗道:“一切条款都是你定的,还谈甚么?你不能逼我跟你谈判。”韦小宝道:“为甚么不能逼你谈判?”费要多罗道:“我决不屈服。你挥刀杀了我,开枪打死我,尽管动手好了。”韦小宝笑道:“如果我叫人剥了你的裤子呢?”费要多罗大怒,霍地站起,喝道:“你……”只说得一个“你”字,裤子突然溜下,急忙伸手抓住。他的裤带已被割断,坐在椅上,不必用手抓住,盛怒中站将起来,却忘了此事,幸好及时抢救,才没出丑。帐中清方大官侍从,无不大笑。费要多罗气得脸色雪白,双手抓住裤带,神情甚是狼狈,待要说一番慷慨激昂的言辞,苦于双手不能挥舞以助声势,要如何慷慨激昂,也势必有限,重重呸的一声,坐了下来,说道:“我是罗刹国沙皇陛下的钦使,你不能侮辱我。”韦小宝道:“你放心,我不会侮辱你。咱们还是好好来谈分划国界罢。”费要多罗从衣袋里取出一块手帕,包在自己嘴上,绕到脑后打了个结,意思是说决计不谈。韦小宝吩咐亲兵送上美酒佳肴,摆在桌上,在酒杯中斟了酒,笑道:“请,请,不用客气。”费要多罗闻到酒菜香味,忍耐不住,解开手帕,举杯便饮。韦小宝笑道:“侯爵又用嘴巴了?”费要多罗喝酒吃菜,却不答话,表示嘴巴只用于吃喝,不作别用。韦小宝不住劝酒,心想把他灌醉了,或许便能叫他屈服,那知费要多罗喝得十几杯酒,吃了几块牛肉,将手帕抹了抹嘴巴,又将自己的嘴绑上了。
And when Trinket, who didn’t understand what this meant even when it was translated by the interpreter, persisted in urging that they should continue, Golovin took a large handkerchief from his pocket and tied it round his mouth. The delegates on both sides of the table looked at each other helplessly and wondered what to do. A member of the Russian delegation whispered in Golovin’s ear. Golovin nodded, and when the Russians had whispered among each other for several minutes, they rose from their seats together (with the exception of Golovin) and said that, as the talks appeared to be temporarily suspended, they would like to go back to Nerchinsk. This could hardly be refused. Lin’s special troops were ordered to escort them, taking the horses, handguns, and sabres confiscated from the Cossacks to be returned to their original owners as a sign of Chinese goodwill. The unfortunate Cossack captain was allowed to go with them. After a few deft touches from Doublet he regained his mobility and power of speech, but having stood for so long in one position, he was too stiff to walk or ride, and was obliged to sit in the cart which was carrying the two hundred and seventy-five handguns and two hundred and sixty sabres. After the departure of the other Russians, Golovin continued to sit, solitary and mute, on his own side of the table, the handkerchief still tied conspicuously round the lower half of his face. Songgotu and the other Chinese delegates were all nonplussed-except for Trinket, who firmly believed that in an awkward situation like this there was nothing that a few drinks couldn’t do. ‘I think we should take a bit of a break now for food and refreshment’ he said. As the Chinese orderlies began busying themselves with preparations, and savoury smells began to suffuse the tent, Golovin was seen to be showing a certain interest. Trinket had hit, quite by chance, on his one little weakness’ Golovin was a gourmet and, talks or no talks, he was not going to miss a chance of sampling the Chinese cuisine and tasting some Chinese wine. The orderlies set several dishes on the table and poured heated wine into several small wine’cups. The Chinese each picked up a wine’cup and looked towards Golovin. ‘Qing!’ said Songgotu and Tong Guogang. ‘ZdorovyemV said Trinket. Golovin removed the handkerchief from his mouth and put it in his pocket. Then he picked up the nearest wine’cup and tossed off the contents in one gulp. When the Chinese picked up chopsticks, Golovin reached for a spoon and helped himself from the dishes, one after the other, smacking his lips and showing every sign of enjoyment. But still he didn’t speak. They refilled his wine’cup, once, twice, three times . . . finally they lost count. In fact several times they had to fetch another kettle of it. And in between knocking back cupfuls of the wine, he ate voraciously. At last, when all the plates were empty and when he had drunk far more than any of the Chinese present, he took out his handkerchief and tied it once more round his mouth.

韦小宝见此情形,倒也好笑,命亲兵引他到后帐休息,严加看守,自和索额图、佟国纲等人商议对策。佟国纲道:“这人如此倔强,坚决不肯在咱们军中谈和,但如就此放了他回去,却又于心不甘。”索额图道:“关得他十天八日,每天在他面前宰杀罗刹鬼子,瞧他是否还倔强得出?”佟国纲道:“倘若将他逼死了,这件事不免弄僵。咱们以武力俘虏对方的议和划界大臣,皇上说不定会降罪。”索额图道:“佟公爷说得对,跟他一味硬来,也不是办法。”众大臣商议良久,苦无善策。今日将费要多罗擒来,虽是一场胜仗,但决非皇上谋和的本意,可说已违背了朝廷大计,一个处理不善,便成为违旨的重罪。说到后来,众大臣均劝韦小宝还是将费要多罗释放。韦小宝道:“好!咱们且扣留他一晚,明天早晨放他便是。”
One thing was clear’ there was one aspect of Chinese culture that Golovin appreciated; but he was not disposed to talk. The Chinese held a muttered consultation. ‘What are we going to do with him?’ said Trinket. Songgotu and Tong Guogang made suggestions involving varying degrees of violence and brutality, but Trinket pointed out that the Emperor wanted a peace treaty and might not be too pleased if all they succeeded in doing was giving the Russians a beating. ‘You’re right’ they said. ‘But what do we do, then’ Just let him go?’ ‘I think we shall have to’ said Trinket. ‘Let’s keep him here tonight, though. I think I could put on a little show tonight that might persuade the tamardy old turtle’head to change his mind. We can let the bugger go in the morning.’

回入寝帐,踱来踱去的筹思,忽然想起:“先前学诸葛亮火烧盘蛇谷,在雅克萨打了个大胜仗,老子再来学一学周瑜群英会戏蒋干。”仔细盘算了一会,已有计较。回到中军帐,请了传译的荷兰教士来,和他密密计议一番;又要他教了二十几句罗刹话,念得正确无误;再传四名将领和亲兵队长来,吩咐如此如此。众人领命而去。
It was explained to Golovin through the interpreter that he was being invited to spend the night in the Chinese camp. A tent was being placed at his disposal. He could, if he wished, return to Nerchinsk in the morning; but meanwhile he would appreciate that, for his own safety, it would be necessary to place a Chinese guard on the tent. Golovin made no objection, having already made it clear that he regarded himself as a prisoner and was acting under duress, and when the soldiers arrived who had been detailed to show him where he was to sleep, he offered no resistance, but rose from the table and followed them in silence. During the next hour or two Trinket was kept busy organizing his ‘little show’. This involved separate briefing sessions with the three soldiers guarding Golovin’s tent, the Dutch and Russian priests, his Chinese and Manchu colleagues in the talks, and the commanders of units of the main Chinese army who had moved to forward positions during the day.

Conspiracy in the Tent

费要多罗睡在后帐,心中思潮起伏,一时惊惧,一时悔恨,却如何睡得着?翻来覆去的挨到半夜,只听得帐口鼻息如雷,三名看守的亲兵竟然都睡着了。费要多罗心想:“倘若不答应中国蛮子的条款,决计难以脱身。明天惹得那小鬼生起气来,将我杀了,岂非冤枉?天幸这三名卫兵都睡着了,何不冒险逃走?”蹑手蹑足的从床上起来,解下斜背的皮带缚在腰间,以免裤子脱落,轻轻走到帐口,只见三名亲兵靠在篷帐的柱子上,睡得甚熟。他伸手去一名亲兵腰间,想拔他佩刀,那亲兵突然打个喷嚏。费要多罗大吃一惊,急忙缩手。过了好一会,不见有何动静,又想去取另一名亲兵的佩刀。那亲兵忽然伸个懒腰,说了几句梦话。费要多罗不敢多耽,悄悄走出帐外,幸喜三名亲兵均不知觉。他走到帐外,缩身阴影之中,见外面卫兵手提灯笼,执刀巡逻,北、东、南三边皆有巡兵,只西边黑沉沉地似乎无人。于是一步步挨将过去,每见有巡兵走近,便缩身帐篷之后,好在一路向西,都是太平无事。刚走到一座大帐之后,突然间西边有一队巡逻兵过来,费要多罗忙在篷帐后一躲,却听得帐中有人说话,说的竟是罗刹话。
Golovin’s tent was warm and the bed was comfortable, but he found himself quite unable to sleep. Hour after endless hour he tossed and turned, assailed by successive waves of worry, fear, and regret. It was well after midnight when he suddenly became aware of a thunderous sound of snoring outside the tent. It was coming, he found, when he got up and looked through the tent’flap, from the Chinese guards, all three of whom were asleep, propped up against one of the side’poles of the tent, with the evidence that they had been drinking at their side. ‘A God’given chance to get away!’ he thought. He sat down on the bed and pulled his boots on, then gently crept outside. Just at that moment one of the guards gave a cry. Golovin’s heart missed a beat, and for fully half a minute he didn’t move. But the man still seemed to be asleep, for after the cry he only muttered some dream’talk and a little while afterwards resumed his snoring. Golovin breathed once more. There were several tents in the encampment. A couple of sentries paced quietly round the perimeter in contramotion, but it took them quite a long time to make the circuit and Golovin found it easy to dodge from tent to tent without being seen. All the tents were in darkness except one large central tent from which light was coming and a faint hum of voices. What could the Chinese be doing at this hour, he wondered’ After a brief hesitation, his curiosity got the better of him and he tiptoed over. Crouching down in the shadows on the darkest side of the tent, he tried to make out what was going on inside.

只听得那人说道:“公爵大人决意要去攻打莫斯科,也不是不可以,只不过路途遥远,十分危险。”费要多罗大惊,当即伏下身子,揭开篷帐的帐脚,往内望去,一望之下,一颗心怦怦乱跳。帐内灯火照耀如同白昼,韦小宝全身披挂,穿着戎装,居中而坐,两旁站立着十余员大将,帐下数十名亲兵手执大刀。韦小宝桌旁站着那作译员的荷兰教士,正在跟他说话。只听韦小宝说罗刹话:“咱们跟费要多罗在这里喝酒,谈话,假的,不是真的话,谈了一个月、两个月,谈来谈去,都是假的话,大军偷偷向西。罗刹公主时时接到费要多罗,笨蛋,报告,说正在跟咱们谈话,她不怕,天天和甜心跳舞,睡觉。中国大军突然间到了莫斯科城下,进攻,奇怪的进攻,将两个沙皇,苏菲亚公主,抓了起来。罗刹人哭了,跪倒,投降!”那荷兰教士道:“行军打仗的事,我是不懂的。不过一面跟罗刹人讲和,一面却出兵偷袭他们的京城,那不是不讲信用吗?上帝的道理,教训我们不可欺诈,不可说谎。”韦小宝道:“哈哈,是罗刹人先骗人。大家说好了,双方卫兵携带火器,不可以,他们身上都藏了枪,短的,他们骗人,我们也骗人。他咬我,一口,我咬他,两口。大大的!”那教士嘿的一声,隔了一会,说道:“我劝公爵大人还是不要打仗的好。两国开战,死的都是上帝子民……”韦小宝摇手道:“别多说了。我们只信菩萨,不信上帝。那个费要多罗如果公平谈判,让中国多占一些土地,本来是可以议和的。可是他一里土地也不让。等我们打下了莫斯科,罗刹男人上天堂,女人,做中国人老婆的。”

费要多罗越听越心惊,暗道:“我的上帝,中国蛮子真是无法无天,胆大妄为。”只听韦小宝又道:“今天我派了一个亲兵,在三名哥萨克骑兵队长的身上,用手指戳了几下,这三名队长,不会动,你见了么?”那教士道:“我瞧见的。这是甚么魔术,真是奇怪之极。”韦小宝道:“中国魔术,成吉思汗,传下来的。成吉思汗用这法子,打得罗刹人跪地投降,我们再用这法子去打他们,罗刹国,又死了!”费要多罗心想:“当年蒙古人只二万人马,一直打到波兰、匈牙利,天下无人挡得住,看来定有魔术。东方人古怪得紧,他们又来使这法术,那……那就如何是好?”只听那教士道:“罗刹人如果远远开枪,你们的魔术就没用了。”韦小宝笑道:“是啊,因此,我们得假装要在这里谈判,军队就去打莫斯科,像小贼一样,偷进城去。我到过莫斯科的,城里鞑靼人很多。咱们的军队化装为鞑靼牧人,混进城去,罗刹守军一定不会发觉。”

费要多罗背上出了一阵冷汗,心想:“这中国小鬼这条毒计,实在厉害得很。中国兵乔装改扮为鞑靼牧人,混进我们京城,施展起魔术来,那怎么抵挡得住?”他不知双儿的点穴术是一门高深的武功,必须内功练到上乘境界,方能使用,清军官兵数万,会点穴功夫的只她一人而已。费要多罗却以为这魔术只须一经传授,人人会使,这么手指一碰,对方就动弹不得,数万中国兵以此法去偷袭莫斯科,罗刹只怕要亡国灭种了。只听那教士道:“公爵大人如果要派遣二万中国兵混入莫斯科,用成吉思汗传下来的魔术制住罗刹军,那么要俘虏两位沙皇和摄政女王,的确是可以成功的。不过……不过这件事必须十分机密,大军西行之时,不能让罗刹人知觉了。公爵大人,今日的罗刹国已十分强大,和当年跟成吉思汗打仗时的罗刹人,是大不相同的。”韦小宝道:“我到过莫斯科,罗刹国的情形都清清楚楚,我们明天一早,放了费要多罗回去,然后跟他谈判,都是假的,他不肯答应的。咱们在这里多谈得一日,中国大军就近了莫斯科一日路程。”那教士道:“是,是。大人一切还是要小心,这件事是很危险的。”韦小宝道:“知道了。你不能够说出去,不能让费要多罗起了疑心的。”那教士答应了下去。韦小宝喝道:“传王八死鸡、猪猡懦夫。”亲兵出帐,带了华伯斯基和齐洛诺夫进来。韦小宝对二人道:“明天,我派两队人去莫斯科,礼物很多很多,送给苏菲亚公主。路上盗贼多的,多派官兵保护。”华伯斯基道:“从这里到莫斯科,只有些小股的鞑靼强盗,也不算很凶,公爵大人放心好了。”韦小宝道:“你不知道。鞑靼强盗,八九千人一队,有的二十个一千人,三十个一千人。”华伯斯基和齐洛诺夫对望了一眼,均有不信之色。韦小宝道:“我这两队人,分南北两路去莫斯科,王八死鸡领北路的,猪猡懦夫领南路的。两条路,怎样的?”华伯斯基道:“从北路走,这里向西到赤塔,经乌斯乌德,绕过贝加尔大湖的南端,向西经托木斯克、鄂木斯克等城而到莫斯科。”齐洛诺夫道:“南路起初的走法是一样的,过了贝加尔湖分道,向西南经过哈萨克人居住的地方,一路向西,经奥斯克、乌拉尔斯克等地到莫斯科。”

韦小宝点头道:“不错,是这样走的。我的礼物,信,由中国使者交给公主,你们两个带路。带得好,有赏,多的。带得不好,领兵中国将军,砍下你们的头。下去罢!”两名罗刹队长退出后,韦小宝拿起金批令箭,发施号令,一个个中国大将躬身接令。费要多罗不知他们说些什么,但见所有接令的中国大将都是神情慷慨激昂,拍胸握拳,指天誓日,显是向主帅保证,说甚么也要大功告成,有的伸掌在自己颈中一斩,有的拔出匕首在自己胸口虚刺,口中不住说:“莫斯科,莫斯科”,料想是说倘若攻不下莫斯科,宁可自杀。韦小宝叽哩咕噜说了一番话,四名亲兵从桌上拿起一张大地图来,刚好对着费要多罗。只见韦小宝的手指从尼布楚城一路向西移动,沿着一条红色粗线,直指到一个红色圆圈。费要多罗虽不识得图上的中国文字,但一看方位,便知是莫斯科。韦小宝说了一番话,手指又沿着另一条线而到莫斯科。费要多罗心想:“这些中国蛮子当真可恶,原来他们处心积虑,早就已预备攻打莫斯科了。”韦小宝又说了一番话,接连说到“费要多罗”的名字,众将一听到,便都大笑。费要多罗心想道:“你们一定在笑我是傻瓜,骗得我谈判划界,拖延时日,暗中却去偷袭莫斯科。哼,我才不上这当呢。”慢慢站起身来,心想:“上帝保祐,让我发现了中国蛮子这个大诡计,可见我俄罗斯帝国得上帝眷顾,定然国运昌隆。反正他明天就会放我,今晚不用冒险逃跑了。”但见西边巡逻兵来去不绝,东边却黑沉沉地无人,悄俏回去,幸喜清兵并未发觉。来到自己帐外,只见看守的三名卫兵兀自熟睡,于是进帐就寝。
They were speaking Chinese, but he heard his own name mentioned and once or twice he thought he heard someone say ‘Moscow’. Then there was some Russian spoken’ the pidjin Russian of the appalling Chinese boy and the Russian of one or other of the interpreters. Then more Chinese. This time he distinctly heard ‘Golovin’, followed by a burst of laughter. He found that by getting down on his knees he could lift the bottom edge of the tent and peep inside. He saw Trinket sitting fully dressed at a table with several high’ranking Chinese officers wearing full armour. It looked as if they were being briefed for a campaign. Presently the demon Chinese boy said something to the Dutch interpreter who began explaining it in Russian to the Russian priest. Only then did Golovin fully grasp what was being planned. The peace talks were a ruse! What the Chinese were planning was nothing less than a full’scale invasion of Russia. While peace talks continued interminably at Nerchinsk, with poor, silly Golovin from time to time reporting back on their progress, a large Chinese army would be marching steadily across Russia on an unprepared and totally unsuspecting Moscow. It seemed preposterous; but then Golovin reflected that the Chinese had already, on more than one occasion, given evidence of possessing some sort of supernatural power. And four centuries earlier the Mongols had swept through Russia, Poland, and Hungary with only twenty thousand horsemen. One thing was very clear. He must get that treaty signed as quickly as possible. His mind was made up. He stole swiftly back to his tent, stepped past the sleeping guards, and got into bed again for a well-earned sleep.

Not by Halves

次晨费要多罗吃过丰盛早餐,随着亲兵来到中军帐。韦小宝笑问:“侯爵大人昨晚睡得好吗?”费要多罗哼了一声,道:“你的卫兵保卫周到,我自然睡得很好。”韦小宝道:“今日你不再生气了罢?咱们来谈谈划界的条款如何?”费要多罗不答,从身边摸出手帕,又绑上了嘴巴。韦小宝大怒,喝道:“你这样倔强,我立刻将你杀了。”费要多罗毫不畏惧,心想:“你预定今日要放我的,这样装腔作势,谁来怕你?”韦小宝大发一阵脾气,见他始终不屈服,无可奈何,只得说道:“好!你这样勇敢,我佩服你了。放你回去罢。你回去请好好休息。十天之后,咱们再另商地点,谈判划界。”费要多罗心想:“你拚命拖延,这时候只怕偷袭莫斯科的军队已出发了。我决计不会上你这当。”说道:“你放我回去,很是多谢。为了表示我们的诚意,我建议今天下午就可开始谈判,不必等到十天之后。”韦小宝笑道:“这件事不用忙,大家休息休息,慢慢谈判好啦。”费要多罗道:“两国君主都盼谈判早日成功,还是先签了划界条约,再休息不迟。”韦小宝道:“我们皇上倒也不急,那么咱们五天之后再谈罢。”费要多罗摇头道:“不必耽搁了,就是今天谈。”韦小宝道:“再隔三天?”费要多罗道:“不,今天!”韦小宝道:“明天?”费要多罗道:“今天!”
Next morning, after an excellent breakfast, Golovin was conducted by the guards to Trinket’s tent. ‘Well, Your Excellency,’ said Trinket, ‘did you have a good night?’ CHAPTER 27 Thank you’ said Golovin. ‘These fellows took such good care of me that I slept the whole night through.’ ‘Good,’ said Trinket. ‘I hope you are not feeling angry any more. Are you ready now to discuss the boundary with us?’ Golovin took his handkerchief from his pocket and made signs of tying it round his mouth. It was now Trinket’s turn to be angry; but Golovin only repeated what he had said the day before’ he could not discuss anything, because as long as he remained a prisoner, nothing he agreed to would be valid. ‘All right,’ said Trinket. ‘You can go back to Nerchinsk then. Perhaps we could continue the talks after a break of ten days or so, when you’re feeling a little more at ease.’ Thank you,’ said Golovin. That’s very handsome of you. Let me respond by proposing that we begin talks again this afternoon. A ten’day moratorium will not be necessary.’ ‘Surely there’s no hurry?’ said Trinket. The talks will go all the better after we’ve all had a good rest.’ ‘Our two rulers are both anxious for an early conclusion,’ said Golovin. ‘We must get a treaty signed as quickly as possible.’ Three days at least then,’ said Trinket. ‘I don’t think my Emperor is in such a hurry.’ ‘No, no, this afternoon. I insist.’

韦小宝叹了口气,说道:“你这样坚决,我只好让步。不过我警告你,待会谈到划分国界之时,我是决计不会随便让步的。咱们一尺一尺、一寸一寸的来讨价还价。”费要多罗心道:“划分国界要一尺一寸的细谈,等到谈妥,你们早打进莫斯科去了。你道我真是大傻瓜吗?”当即站起,说道:“那么敝人告辞了,多谢公爵大人的酒饭。”韦小宝送到帐口,派遣一队藤牌兵护送他回尼布楚城,那二百六十名哥萨克骑兵却不释放。费要多罗出得帐来,只见昨天竖立军营的地方都已空荡荡地,大队清军已拔营离去。他暗暗心惊:“中国蛮子说干便干,委实厉害。”一行人来到昨日会谈的帐前,只见那三名哥萨克队长呆呆站在当地,所摆的姿势仍和昨天一模一样,丝毫动弹不得。清军中跃出一名瘦小的军官,来到三名队长身前,口中大声念咒,大叫:“成吉思汗,成吉思汗!”过去在三人身上拍拿几下。三名队长便慢慢能动了,只是站立了半天一晚,实是疲累已极,双足麻木,一齐坐倒在地。六名藤牌兵上前扶起,走出数十丈后,三名队长方能自己行走。

费要多罗更是骇异:“成吉思汗传下的魔术,果然厉害无比,难怪当年他纵横天下,无人能敌。幸好现下已发明了火器,可以不让敌人近身。否则的话,中国异教徒又要统治全世界,我们信上帝的正教徒,都要变成奴隶了。”清军藤牌手直护送费要多罗到尼布楚城东门之前,这才回去。费要多罗询问三名哥萨克队长中了魔术的情形。三名队长都道:当时只觉后心和腰间一麻,便即全身不能动弹。费要多罗道:“你们身上带着十字架没有?”三名队长解开衣襟,露出挂在颈中的十字架来,其中一人还多挂了一个耶稣圣像。费要多罗皱起眉头,心道:“成吉思汗的魔法当真厉害,连耶稣基督的十字架也辟不了邪。”当即写下了三道奏章,派遣十五名骑兵分作三路,向莫斯科告急:中国军队已出发前来偷袭,行将化装为鞑靼牧人,混入京城,务须严加防备。中午时分,三路信差先后回城,说道西去的道路均已被中国兵截断,一见罗刹骑兵,远远便射箭过来,实是难以通过。费要多罗心中愁急,寻思:“只有尽快和中国蛮子议定划界条约,那么他们便会撤回兵马。”未牌时分,费要多罗带了十余名随员,前去两国会议的帐篷。这次他全然不带哥萨克骑兵,以表决无他意,何况就算带了卫队,招架不了中国兵的“成吉思汗魔术”,也是无用。费要多罗学识渊博,办事干练,本来绝非易于受欺之人,但罗刹人心中对成吉思汗的畏惧根深蒂固,双儿的点穴之术又十分精妙,他亲见之下,不由得不信。他先到篷帐。不久韦小宝、索额图、佟国纲等清方大官也即到达。韦小宝见对方不带卫队,于是命护卫的藤牌手也退了回去。双方说了几句客套,全然不提昨日之事,便即谈判划界。费要多罗但求谈判速成,事事让步,与昨日态度迥不相同。
‘Very well. But I must warn you,’ said Trinket, ‘we shall want to argue about that boundary inch by inch.’ ‘Yes,’ thought Golovin, ‘I’m sure you will. And meanwhile your army will be well on its way to Moscow.’ When Lin’s Specials were escorting him back to Nerchinsk, he could see no sign of the Chinese troops who yesterday had seemed to be everywhere. Tents, cannon, horses, soldiers had vanished overnight. The Chinese don’t do things by halves,’ he thought. ‘When they say they’re going, they go!’ An Object for a Cult Promptly at two o’clock that afternoon Golovin, accompanied by some ten or a dozen Russian delegates-no military escort this time-arrived at the tent where the talks were to be held. Trinket, Songgotu, Tong Guogang, and the Chinese delegates arrived a little later. After a brief exchange of courtesies, the boundary talks proceeded straight away. No reference was made to what had taken place the day before. This time the talking was done almost entirely by Golovin and Songgotu; Trinket played virtually no part.

韦小宝心中暗笑,知道昨晚“周瑜群英会戏蒋干”的计策已然成功,他于划界之事一窍不通,当下便由索额图经由教士传译,和对方商议条款。只见索额图和费要多罗两人将一张大地图铺在桌下,索额图的手指不断向北指去,费要多罗皱起眉头,手指一寸一寸的向北退让。这手指每在地图上向北让一寸,那便是百余里的上地归属了中国。韦小宝听了一会,心感不耐,便坐到另一张桌旁,命侍从取出食盒,架起二郎腿,慢慢咀嚼糕饼点心,鼻中低哼“十八摸”小调。费要多罗决心退让,索额图怕事中有变,也不为已甚。但条约文字谨严,双方教士一一译成拉丁文,反复商议,也费时甚久。到第四日傍晚,《尼布楚条约》条文六条全部商妥。韦小宝得索额图和佟国纲解说,知道条约内容于中国甚为有利,割归中国的土地极为广大,远比康熙谕示者为多。条约共为四份,中国文一份,罗刹文一份,拉丁文二份,订明双方文字中如有意义不符者,以拉丁文为准。
The talks lasted four days in all. At one point Trinket got thoroughly bored with the whole proceedings and went off to sit by himself at a little side’table where refreshments were laid. He passed the time nibbling at cakes and pastries or silently humming his way through a little repertoire of songs. From time to time, when he glanced towards the main table, Golovin and Songgotu would always be hunched over an enormous map, each with a finger on it. Golovin’s finger seemed always to be retreating before Songgotu’s. To Trinket it looked like some sort of complicated game, but not one that he felt any inclination to learn. Golovin was made so anxious by the thought of the Chinese army marching westwards that he was conceding everything. The resulting treaty was extremely favourable to China, defining as Chinese a great deal of territory that has since reverted to Russia. As the definitive version of the treaty was to be in Latin, most of the four days were taken up with the interpreters on both sides arguing about the translation. There were to be four copies of the treaty, one in Russian, one in Chinese, and two in Latin, each side getting a copy in their own language and another one in Latin to refer to in case of dispute. By the evening of the fourth day all four copies were ready for signing.

当下随从磨得墨浓、醮得笔饱,恭请中国首席钦差大人签字。韦小宝自己名字的三个字是识得的,只不过有时把“章”字看成了“韦”字,“卖”字当作是“宝”字,三个字联在一起就不大弄错了,但说到书写,“小”字勉强还可对付,余下一头一尾两字,那无论如何是写不来的。他生平难得脸红,这时竟然脸上微有朱砂之色,不是含怒。亦非酒意,却是有了三分羞惭。索额图是他知己,便道:“这等合同文字,只须签个花押便可。韦大人胡乱写个‘小’字,就算是签字了。”韦小宝大喜,心想写这个“小”字,我是拿手好戏,当下拿起笔来,左边一个圆团,右边一个圆团,然后中间一条杠子笔直的竖将下来。索额图微笑道:“行了,写得好极。”韦小宝侧头欣赏这个“小”字,突然仰头大笑。索额图奇道:“韦大帅甚么好笑?”韦小宝笑道:“你瞧这个字,一只雀儿两个蛋,可不是那话儿吗?”清方众大臣忍不住都哈哈大笑,连众随从和亲兵也都笑出声来。
When it came to the signing ceremony, Trinket for the first time in his life felt truly embarrassed. Normally he could sign documents with his imposing seal of office, but this time he would have to write his name. Songgotu noticed that he looked worried, and put him out of his misery. ‘Just the first character of your name will do,’ he said. (None of the Russians would be any the wiser, he argued, whatever he wrote.) The first character in Trinket’ was easy-‘little?’ a vertical line with a big dot on either side. He had practised it many times when idly doodling. The one he wrote on the Russian copy was particularly striking. The dots were a bit too low and the vertical a bit too tall, but he had taken great pains to write it and was rather proud of the result. ‘You know’ he said to Songgotu, ‘now I come to look at it, it’s a bit like a you’know’what.’ Songgotu looked and laughed; the Chinese delegates looked and laughed; even the Chinese soldiers on guard duty in the tent cottoned on to what the joke was and began laughing too.

费要多罗瞪目而视,不知众人为何发笑。当下韦小宝在四份条约上都画了字,在罗刹文那份条约上,中间那一直画得加倍巨大,然后费要多罗、索额图、俄方副使等都签署了。中俄之间的第一份条约就此签署完成。这是中国和外国所订的第一份条约。由于康熙筹划周详,全力以赴,而所遣人员又十分得力,是以尼布楚条约划界,中国大占便宜。约中规定北方以外兴安岭为界,现今苏联之阿穆尔省及滨海省全部土地尽属中国,东方及东南方至海而止。双方议界之时,该地区原无归属,中国所占之地亦非属于罗刹,但罗刹已在当地筑城殖民,签约后被迫撤退,实为中国军事及外交上之胜利。约中划归中国之上地总面绩达二百万方公里,较之今日中国东北各省大一倍有余。此约之立,使中国东北边境获致一百五十余年之安宁,而罗刹东侵受阻,侵略野心得以稍戢。自康熙、雍正、乾隆诸朝而后,满清与外国订约,无不丧权失地,康熙和韦小宝当年大振国威之雄风,不可复得见于后世。(按:条约上韦小宝之签字怪不可辨,后世史家只识得索额图和费要多罗、而考古学家如郭沫若之流仅识甲骨文字,不识尼布楚条约上所签之“小”字,致令韦小宝大名湮没。后世史籍皆称签尼布楚条约者为索额图及费要多罗。古往今来,知世上曾有韦小宝其人者,惟“鹿鼎记”之读者而已。本书记叙尼布楚条约之签订及内容,除涉及韦小宝者系补充史书之遗漏之外,其余皆根据历史记载。)依据当时习惯,双方同时鸣炮,向天立誓,信守不渝。清方大炮四百余门,在尼布楚城东南西北四方同时响起,大地震动。俄方大炮只二十余门,炮声廖廖,强弱之势,相差实不可以道里计。费要多罗暗叫侥幸,倘若议和不成,开起仗来,俄国非一败涂地不可。

当下两国使臣互赠礼物。费要多罗赠给韦小宝等人的是时表、千里镜、银器、貂皮、刀剑等物。韦小宝赠给对方使节的是马匹、鞍辔、金杯、丝绸衣衫、绢帛等物,此外二百六十名哥萨克骑兵各赠纹银二十两,以赔偿被清兵割断的裤带。当晚大张筵席,庆贺约成。费要多罗兀自担忧,不知前去偷袭莫斯科的清兵是否即行召回。不断以言语试探,韦小宝只是装作不懂。过得两日,费要多罗得报,有大队清兵自西方开来。他登上城头,以千里镜眺望,果见一队队清兵向西而来,渡过尼布楚河以东扎营。费要多罗大喜,知道西侵的清兵已然召回。他哪知大队清兵只在尼布楚之西二百里外驻扎候命,一听得炮声,便即拔队缓缓而归。又地数日,石匠已将界碑雕凿完竣。碑上共有满、汉、蒙、拉丁及罗刹五体文字。界碑分立于格尔必齐河东岸,额尔古纳河南岸、以及极东北之威伊克阿林大山各处。碑文中书明两国以格尔必齐河为界,“循此河上流不毛之地,有名大兴安以至于海,凡山南一带流入黑龙江之溪河,尽属中国;山北一带之溪河,尽属俄罗斯”;又书明:“将流入黑龙江之额尔古纳河为界,河之南岸,属于中国;河之北岸,属于俄罗斯。其南岸之眉勒尔客河口,所有俄罗斯房舍,迁徒北岸”;又书明:“雅克萨所居俄罗斯人民及诸物,尽行撤往察罕汗之地”;又书明:“凡猪户人等,断不许越界,如有相聚持械捕猎,杀人抢掠者,即行捕拿正法,不以小故阻坏大事,中俄两国和好,毋起争端。”两国钦差派遣部属,勘察地形无误后。树立界碑。此界碑所处之地,本应为中俄两国万年不易之分界,然一百数十年后,俄国乘中国国势衰弱,竟逐步蚕食侵占,置当年分界于不顾,吞并中国大片膏腴之地。后人读史至此,喟然叹曰:“安得康熙、韦小宝于地下,逐彼狼子野心之罗刹人而复我故土哉?”树立界碑已毕,两国钦差行礼作别,分别首途回京复命。
The Russians, of course, were mystified. More ceremonies followed the signing. Solemn oaths were taken, cannon were fired off in salute, and there was an exchange of presents. The Russians gave telescopes, silverware, sables, and swords. The Chinese gave saddles and harnesses, gold cups, silks, and brocades. In addition, to show that there was no ill feeling and to compensate them for their humiliation, the Chinese gave a gift of twenty silver taels to each of the two hundred and sixty Cossacks. After the ceremonies there was a very grand banquet for the members of both delegations. Poor Golovin! In the midst of all this celebration he looked very glum. Trinket knew what was worrying him, but pretended not to notice. However, two days later a Chinese army was reported to be approaching from the west and Golovin saw it for himself with his telescope from the highest point in the fort and forgot his worry. The army had in fact been camping out of sight for the past few days only a few miles from Nerchinsk, waiting for news that the Treaty had been concluded. It remained to have boundary’stones made for placing at a few key points to mark the frontier. These were inscribed in five languages’ Manchu, Chinese, Mongol, Latin, and Russian. Stonemasons were put to work and after several days of frantic activity the work was finished, and selected units from each side had to travel to each site in turn and supervise the setting up of the stones. During the considerable time it took to transport and install them, Trinket employed the masons on a private work of his own. At last, when the last boundary’stone had been erected and the boundary marking was complete, the time had come for the delegations to take leave of each other and return to their own capitals.

韦小宝召来华伯斯基与齐洛诺夫,命二人呈奉礼物给苏菲亚公主,其中既有锦被,又有绣枕。北国荒鄙之地,这些物事无处购置,均是双儿之物。韦小宝笑道:“公主如当真想念我,就抱抱丝棉被和枕头罢。”华伯斯基道:“公主殿下对大人阁下的情意天长地久,棉被枕头容易残破,还是请大人派几名筑桥技师,去莫斯科造座石桥,那就永远不会坏了。”韦小宝笑道:“我早已想到此节,你们不必罗苏。”命亲兵抬出一只大木箱,长八尺,宽四尺,宛似一口大棺材一般,八名亲兵用大杠抬之而行,显得甚是沉重。箱外铁条重重缠绕,贴了封条,以火漆固封。韦小宝道:“这件礼物非同小可,你们好生将护,不可损坏。公主见到之后,必定欢喜,这天长地久的情意,和中国石桥完全一般牢固。”
Before he left, Trinket summoned Vobolsky and Chirinov, who had been waiting all this time for a response to the Princess Sophia’s request, and showed them the gifts he had assembled for them to take to her. They included a very beautifully embroidered Chinese bedspread and pillow, which, he laughingly assured them, would remind her of their happy times together. Vobolsky was unimpressed. ‘Her Highness loves Excellency Chinese Man’ he said. ‘Chinese bedding will wear out in time. Not so the Princess’ love. Always she will love you. She wants Chinese stone bridge. She is so romantic. A bridge will last for ever.’ ‘I’ve thought of that’ said Trinket. ‘I’ve got something else for you to take to her.’ He gave an order, and eight sweating guardsmen appeared, staggering under the weight of a crated object slung between carrying’poles which looked rather like a large coffin. It was seven or eight feet long and three feet broad and weighed nearly half a ton. Several thin metal bands encircled it, like the hoops of a barrel. They were sealed with sealing’wax bearing the impress of a seal. ‘I want you to take very good care of this on the journey’ he told them. ‘I can guarantee she will be very pleased to get it. And it will last every bit as long as a Chinese stone bridge.’

两名罗刹队长不敢多问,领了木箱而去。这口大木箱重逾千斤,自尼布楚万里迢迢的运到莫斯科,一路之上,着实劳顿。苏菲亚公主收到后打开箱子,竟是一座韦小宝的裸体石像,笑容可掬,栩栩如生。原来韦小宝召来雕凿界碑的石匠,凿成此像,又请荷兰教士写了“我永远爱你”几个罗刹文字,雕在石像胸口。苏菲亚公主一见之下,啼笑皆非,想起这中国小孩古怪精灵,却也非罗刹男子之可及,不由得情意绵绵,神驰万里。这石像便藏于克里姆林宫中,后来彼得大帝发动政变,将苏菲亚公主驱逐出宫,连带将此石像击碎。唯有部份残躯为兵士携带出外,罗刹民间无知妇女向之膜拜求子,抚摸石像下体,据称大有灵验云。
The transporting of this monstrous gift all the way from Nerchinsk to Moscow cost the luckless pair a very great deal of trouble; but Trinket was right when he said that it would give her pleasure. When the bands were broken and the crating had been levered off and the packing removed, a life’size sculpture of Trinket in a state of nature was revealed. On the statue’s chest, chiselled in Cyrillic letters, were words that the Dutch interpreter had supplied’ ‘ WILL LOVE YOU ALWAYS Thereafter it graced the Princess’ bedchamber in the Kremlin, a source of wistful, fond memory to her and emulation to her lovers. But Trinket had been wrong when he said that it would last as long as a stone bridge. When the young Tsar Peter seized power and banished his half’sister from the Kremlin, he had the statue destroyed. Only a fragment of the lower part of the torso survived, a fragment somewhat resembling the ‘vertical line with a dot on either side’ that was the first part of Trinket’s name. It was smuggled out by one of the soldiers engaged in the statue’s destruction. The secret of where it was hidden was not long kept, and soon it became a place of pilgrimage. Among ignorant peasant women the stone fragment was widely believed to have magic powers. It was said to be wonderfully efficacious if barren wives prayed for a son while they fondled it with one hand and crossed themselves with the other.

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